


Broken Toys

by taekwoncheeks



Series: Fragile Dolls [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angsty Hakyeon, Denial, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, M/M, Minor Gugudan characters, Newbie BDSM?, Smut, Tattooed Wonshik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-10-28 12:09:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 63,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10830993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekwoncheeks/pseuds/taekwoncheeks
Summary: Hakyeon broke the kiss before things could get any more heated and whispered in the other's ear, "There's more if you want it. All you have to do is say so."A sigh came from the younger as he rubbed his thumb against the toned thigh, trying to prepare himself to say those words. "I want more..." he mumbled.After hearing the unsatisfactory sheepish reply, Hakyeon pulled his hand back with raised eyebrows and rested his head on the palm of his hand. "Do you really think that's going to get you anywhere?""Fine," Sanghyuk grunted. "I want more," he declared loud enough to please Hakyeon, but not for others to clearly make out the words."That's better, cutie."





	1. Attention

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Hakyeon is 29 years old, Jaehwan is 28 years old, and Sanghyuk is 21 years old.  
> This is not only the first chaptered fanfic that I've ever completed, but it's also my first piece of writing after a very, very long hiatus  
> Honestly, it starts a little rough, I'm not gonna lie to y'all. However, I did try to edit the story a few times and tried to find my writing style again throughout the story.  
> It means a lot to me that y'all take time out to read this fic, thank you for that. And I hope you guys enjoy to the best of your abilities.

_Ding ding_

 

"Hakyeon, I swear if that's y-"

"He brought food!"

"I always do!"

Hakyeon let out a bright airy laugh as he walked through the front door of the tattoo shop then set the bags full of to-go boxes down on the counter that the young Sanghyuk sat behind. The now excited Jaehwan followed behind Hakyeon closely, bouncing on his tippy toes as he waited for the food to be unpackaged. Hakyeon knew better than to keep Jaehwan waiting for his lunch so he took out the box that contained Jaehwan's order that he knew by heart and passed it to the anticipating man. He felt pleased that he was able to bring out such a happy response from his long time friend and continued to give Sanghyuk his own box.

"Today's menu is burgers and fries. Bacon for Ravi, extra onions for Jaehwan, and everything for Hyuk," Hakyeon cooed Sanghyuk's nickname and reached over to play with the younger's hair. "The young cutie needs all the food, doesn't he?" He was completely leaned over against the counter top to run his fingers through the short strands of Sanghyuk's hair and purposely brushing his fingertips against the younger's ear. Sanghyuk tried to keep a straight face as an involuntary shiver ran down his spine but Hakyeon's eyes were sharp enough to see the reaction.

"Can you please stop molesting my employees for once?" Ravi, the owner of the tattoo shop, grumbled as he took his designated food box and joined Jaehwan on the couch in the small waiting area.

"Molesting? Pssh, please.. he likes it," Hakyeon spoke in a hushed tone loud enough for Sanghyuk to hear as the elder gave him a subtle wink.

"No, no I do not like it. What I like is this burger. See, there's a difference," Sanghyuk nodded assuredly before taking a bite of the burger that only his large hands could hold.

"Yea, and you know there's more where that came from," the young bookkeeper could only gag in disgust at the retort but obviously wasn't affected enough by it to stop eating the burger.

Jaehwan scooted over on the couch to make room for Hakyeon as well. A large dent was present in his food even though he sat down only a few minutes ago. "Well since nobody else in this building seems to know any manners - thank you Hyung!" He nuzzled the crown of his head into Hakyeon's shoulder only to get pushed away.

"I don't need thank you's, just eat." And so they did.

The shop went back to being quiet once they all had food in their mouths. Nothing was out of the normal for them. Hakyeon bursting in unannounced with food was pretty much a daily thing at this point. And the seducing, seemingly failed, attempts cast for the youngest of them all weren't unusual either. The foursome had been a group for about a year, with Sanghyuk being the latest addition. They were all quite different from each other, but somehow they all clicked and had developed their stable patterns with each other.

"But you know," Jaehwan caught everybody's attention with his sudden words, "you guys are honestly starting to look real cute together." He nearly caused Sanghyuk to choke on his food and Ravi had to go to his rescue and get some water from the cooler.

"Don't, Hyung - no, just - stop it, no," he finally managed to say after chugging down the water. Meanwhile, Hakyeon was completely unaffected by the words and continued to munch on what he had bought for himself.

"Ooh! Somebody's getting flustered! Maybe you do like it," Jaehwan's laughs covered Sanghyuk's attempts to try and defend himself from the teasing.

"Ravi! Can you get him?"

"Tattle-tell!"

"What the - Did I hire adults to work with me or kindergarteners?" Ravi exchanged glances between the two that were bickering and could only shake his head.

"Oh, you didn't know? We're both five-year-olds," The large puppy dog eyes from the oldest of the employees worked to serve as evidence for his false statement.

"Speak for yourself," Sanghyuk muttered under his breath but still chuckled at the other's antics. "Besides, how many times do I have to tell you guys I'm straight?"

"Probably until you actually believe that you're straight. Which will probably never happen," the words flowed casually out of Hakyeon's mouth and he didn't even spare the other a glance.

Sanghyuk opened up his mouth for a rebuttal but knew it was ultimately useless. At every chance he had, Hakyeon would always make a move for the bookkeeper. In the beginning, Sanghyuk felt completely intimidated by all the attention and sweet talk and didn't know how to handle it. But, after dealing with it for a year, he's learned how to appear aloof and turn everything down. He's tried to get used to it, well, as much as one can get used to a man nine years older than them constantly hitting on them.

"Look, if you're gonna keep coming in here are you ever actually gonna pay for something?"

"Ravi, you already know the answer to that question," Hakyeon finished his meal and got up to collect the other empty containers from everybody else.

"It was worth another shot. Not even another ear piercing or anything?"

"When I want something done, I'll come to you, Ravi. It's not my fault you guys keep such good company." Ravi showed him a forced smile as a bluff. "Well I have to get back to the bakery," he added as he threw away all the containers in the trash can, making sure they were flattened completely. "I'll see all you guys later. Especially..you," of course the man had to pay special attention to his favorite. The tattooed man just sighed in the background as Hakyeon sent a smirk Sanghyuk's way, arms folded against the countertop.

The scene was a normal occurrence between the two to the others didn't bother to pay attention to them. However, there was something different stirring inside Sanghyuk as Hakyeon showed his smirk. It was something that he's been feeling lately whenever the elder would get too close or touch him a certain way. But he ignored it, thinking he might just be getting sensitive, and kept a straight face.

"Bye, Hyung," Sanghyuk uttered to get the oldest to finally leave. The others said their byes as well before Hakyeon left the tattoo shop, allowing Sanghyuk to release the breath he didn't know he was holding it.

"Why am I the one he always hits on?" Sanghyuk complained once the coast was clear and slouched in his seat.

"Cause you're the young hot one. Why else do you think I have you sitting at the front desk?" Ravi so obviously stated as he stole one of Jaehwan's fries.

"And? You're like the hot tatted up one. I could have sworn I saw your clone in one of those magazines," he pointed to the stack of magazines laying on the end table next to the couch.

"Oh wow, thank you so much. That's so nice of you to say," Ravi mused, completely ignoring Sanghyuk's point as he got up to wash his hands in the back.

"No, Hyung, that's not-" Sanghyuk sighed then brought the attention to Jaehwan, "Well has he ever hit on you?"

Jaehwan obnoxiously coughed as he scrambled up from his seat, "Oh shit, I gotta disinfect the needles. Can't talk to you now, Hyuk!"

"Hyung, you're right there," Sanghyuk pointed out as Jaehwan went behind the short halfway wall to disinfect the tools sitting on the table. The parlor was small and impossible to escape a conversation in but Jaehwan made it happen. "Nevermind."

* * *

 

Heavy breaths escaped the lips of the tanned man as he rolled his hips back into his friend's lap. His head dipped forward as his burning thighs began to finally cool down from the constant bouncing he was doing just a few minutes ago. The feeling, however, was replaced by the carpet burn against his knees but it didn't faze Hakyeon as he was purely focused on riding the man.

"Hyung...can you please go faster?" Jaehwan grunted through his teeth while his fingernails dug into Hakyeon's hips as if it would urge him to go faster.

"Can you be patient?" Hakyeon retaliated, acting calm for somebody who was in the middle of fucking their friend. But neither of them had feelings for the other. The rules of no eye contact and no kissing allowed them to be able to be able to do what they want without worrying about ruining their friendship.

Jaehwan completely ignored the part about being patient and pushed down on Hakyeon's back, causing him to fall on all fours. He shifted himself behind the elder to get on his knees, slightly slipping out of the puckered hole before taking control again. He created a steady rhythm, snapping his hips against Hakyeon's ass at a pace that was pleasing to him. As Jaehwan lost himself in the warmth that surrounded his cock, Hakyeon moved his arms, balancing on one forearm as he used his now free hand to pump himself. Hakyeon didn't bother punishing the younger since he was losing himself too.

While on his knees, Hakyeon let his mind shamelessly wander off to a different scenario. One with the charmingly boyish and cute bookkeeper from that tattoo parlor currently behind him, burying his cock in his ass. And so, Hakyeon rocked himself back against the thrusts with that thought in mind.

It was times like this that Hakyeon felt even more thankful for the kind of relationship he had with Jaehwan. Hakyeon always jumped between "boy toys", throwing them away and replacing them for another or a submissive when he wanted it. But all he's been needing lately was the cutie between his legs and until he accomplished that goal, he knew Jaehwan wouldn't have a problem living out those fantasies for him.

"Ah shit, Hyuk," he suddenly hissed when Jaehwan hit that one sweet spot.

The younger was caught off guard by that name easily slipping out of the other's mouth and it took some self-resistance to not laugh out loud at the situation. "Really? That's what you're thinking about?" Jaehwan snickered and found the same spot again with ease, pulling a moan out from the man under him.

Hakyeon didn't bother trying to answer him since there was no point in it. He continued pulling on his shaft, now matching the pace that Jaehwan set. They continued like that until Hakyeon could hear the erratic breathing that was coming from above, signaling that Jaehwan was close to coming. He moved his hand faster to bring him closer to the edge as well and came first with a loud grunt. Jaehwan followed suit, releasing himself into the condom that he was wearing. After catching their breaths, Hakyeon reached for the shirt closest to him to clean the mess he made off of his floor while Jaehwan pulled out of him.

"I can't believe you did that."

"Shut up, it's not the first time."

"That's the point. You've been moaning his name for a couple of months now. Do you still think you got a chance with him after all this time?" Jaehwan questioned as his tied off the condom wrapper and slipped on his boxers.

"I don't think, I know. Rome wasn't built in a day, Jae," Hakyeon explained as he also began to clothe himself.

"What are you even going to do with him - I mean, after chasing him for what...almost a year, you can't possibly only want a one night stand, right? Or is he going to be one of your little toys? Or are you-"

"If you keep talking about this I swear I'm going to punch you," Hakyeon swiftly turned around and finally faced Jaehwan. The glare coming from his eyes left icicles along Jaehwan's spine and if he tried to move or talk back it'll be snapped in half.

"Hyung, I just..." The shirt that was used to wipe up the come, which was Jaehwan's, was thrown back at him out of frustration. "I was just wondering," a mumble slipped past his lips as he balled up the shirt, putting it in a worse condition than it already was and moved back onto the couch behind him.

"What do I do with everybody else, Jaehwan?" Hakyeon finally stood up, pulling his pants up in the process as he kept his eyes focused on Jaehwan.

"I know, I know. It's just this time, this is my friend. I don't want you to go hurting him or whatever else it is that you do," Jaehwan admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. Jaehwan knew Sanghyuk ever since he moved into the same apartment building as the younger. Over time, he's come to care for the boy as if he were a little brother. Even if sometimes Sanghyuk acted like he was older.

"Well," Hakyeon paused, wondering how to approach the situation as he took Jaehwan's feelings into consideration, "I don't know how sensitive the boy might be but, I'll try not to drag out anything for too long, okay?" He raised his eyebrows at Jaehwan in an assured manner, pleased with his own answer.

"What type of promise is that?"

"It's the best one you're gonna get. Now come on, pick out what shirt you want to borrow," he spoke as he gestured Jaehwan to follow him to his bedroom so they could choose a shirt to replace the old one.

The next day, Hakyeon took a break from working at his bakery to buy the few employees he had some drinks from the nearby convenience store. His crew just finished a large order for a wedding and he wanted to give them an immediate reward. While walking towards the refrigerated section all the way in the back of the store, he spotted Sanghyuk, who looked like he was trying to decide which bags of chips to get. So, of course, he had to go out of his way to stride over to him and comfortably wrapped his arms around the young man's torso from behind, cooing a soft, "Hyukkie," which was the only thing to keep the boy from panicking.

"Hyung! You nearly scared me to death," Sanghyuk exclaimed, pressing his hand to his chest to calm himself down from the initial shock.

"Sorry, cutie," the younger twisted his face at the pet name, "I didn't know you were going to be in here. Getting stuff for Jaehwan and Ravi?" Hakyeon pulled his hands away from Sanghyuk's stomach to leave them on his sides instead, but the younger didn't bother complaining.

"Uh, yeah, but just Jaehwan. He wanted me to pick him up some snacks. He didn't tell me which one to get, though," Sanghyuk pursed his lips out of habit as he brought his attention back to the bags of chips in front of him.

"Here let me help," immediately, Hakyeon let go of Sanghyuk to grab a couple of bags of what he knew to be Jaehwan's favorite brands and flavors before placing them in the gofer's arms.

"Ah thanks, Hyung. He eats everything so I really didn't know what to get," Sanghyuk let out a bit of laughter before finally catching the elder's eye. It wasn't until then that he realized how close they were together and instinctively lowered his eyes again, pretending as if he was just that interested in the design of snack bags.

Hakyeon, being the people reader that he was, didn't let Sanghyuk's sheepish behavior go unnoticed and gave him a gentle pet on the top of his head in order to help him relax a bit more. While they didn't regain eye contact, it did help to ease the tense boy.

"Well, I have to go pay for these now. I'll, uh, see you later," Sanghyuk struggled to speak and nodded his head over to the direction of the cashier. The awkwardness emanating from the younger nearly made Hakyeon's day as he tried to hold his laughter in. Instead, he responded with a small amused smile as he gave Sanghyuk's little tuft of hair one last stroke and a soft little peck right on his cheek.

"Tell Jaehwan and Ravi I said hey," was all Hakyeon uttered as he turned around and walked off to resume his previous mission. Beams of unfiltered sunlight poked into the convenience store once the glass door was opened as if Hakyeon was transcending with grace into heaven with angel wings. Though, if there was one thing Sanghyuk knew about the elder, it was that he was far from being such an angel. No angel would showcase temptation so blatantly in front of his face.

He muttered something like "yea, sure" as his feet took him over to the cash register, cheek still burning from the touch of Hakyeon's lips. As his body traveled back to the tattoo parlor, his mind stayed inside the convenience store. How could he possibly think about anything other than the spectacle that was Hakyeon joining the glowing sun? Since when has the sky ever been so bright during winter? Sanghyuk figured it was dangerous territory to find an answer to these questions.

The door chimed behind him as he entered the building and was greeted by a joyous Jaehwan. The man snatched the snack bags from Sanghyuk's hands as soon as he recognized the labels on them.

"You got my favorites! I knew you were smart for something," Jaehwan took the small plastic bags over to the couch, opening one to dig in immediately.

While Jaehwan offered a few pieces to Ravi, Sanghyuk took his spot behind the front desk but couldn't bring his attention to the computer in front of him. Sanghyuk's brain finally jumped back into his head and with it was the memories of that kiss. What the hell was that kiss? It barely lasted a second but the effects felt overwhelming and he didn't know what to make of it. Well, of course, he couldn't stop thinking about this kiss - it was completely unexpected and caught him off guard. However, this was no different than the other day when Hakyeon had wedged himself into his brain then. With each passing day, it felt like Hakyeon was entering his head more and more in between less time. Nevertheless, Sanghyuk once again told himself that it doesn't mean anything. If you receive attention from an attractive person, you're bound to think of them a lot, right? It's not like he's actually attracted to him. The attention is just...a little nice. Nevermind the fact that Sanghyuk's coworkers are also attractive in their own right, and Sanghyuk has also known attractive women that didn't leave him questioning so much. Once satisfied with his own "reasoning", he was able to pull himself away from his thoughts and was met with a Jaehwan staring holes right into the side of his face.

"Dammit, Hyung, what are you doing!" Sanghyuk pushed Jaehwan away in order to give himself space to breathe.

"You were looking pretty out of it, I was trying to see if something was wrong?...Want a piece?" Jaehwan offered up some of his chips in front of Sanghyuk, his bottom lip jutting out at the thought that something might be worrying the younger.

"No, I don't want a piece and nothing's wrong. I just need to go to the bathroom really quick," Sanghyuk stated as he got up from his chair, making his way to the restroom that was in the back of the shop. Jaehwan shrugged off the matter and continued to eat his snacks.

"Okay, well if you need help in there just yell," Jaehwan cheekily added in and ate the chip that was offered to Sanghyuk. Instead of Jaehwan the satisfaction of seeing him flip out to such a statement, Sanghyuk kept a one track mind to the restroom.

Sanghyuk turned the faucet on to splash some cold water on his face, hoping it would help him get his shit together and unshuffle the thoughts in his head that he believed he organized. The more water he used, the harder it became to tell himself that everything is just nothing. His better judgment knew it was best to keep ignoring Hakyeon. But when Hakyeon was the very devil figure perched on his shoulder, whispering sweet promises in his ear, it was a rather challenging task to ignore him. For a brief moment, Sanghyuk had flashbacks to the multiple times he actually felt Hakyeon's hot breath tickling his ear, only uttering simple words like "see you tomorrow". However, Sanghyuk was still fixated on the fact that he just grew to enjoy the attention, and he just needed more of it.

There couldn't be anymore to it. It was only about the attention. He just had to prove to himself that was all there was (even though he almost desperately needed this attention from Hakyeon that leaves him jittery and on edge like some sort of drug he's never had before). With a heavy sigh, Sanghyuk pulled his phone out of his front pocket, searching for the number that Hakyeon put in himself some time ago. He stared at the collection of digits, before Devil Hakyeon pushed his thumbs to the keyboard, making him send his first text message to the man.

iamhyuk: [14:04] are u free after work today?


	2. More

_What am I doing here?_

Here he was, sitting in the back in one of the local cafes in the neighborhood, anxiously waiting for Hakyeon to show up.

The baker was running late which gave time for Sanghyuk to figure out what the hell he was doing. He thought he should have just listened to his brain and ignored everything else. Perhaps it wasn't too late to go back and leave the cafe. His foot was tapping repeatedly against the floor as if he was starting to get up and run away but before he could make his decision on what to do, he saw the familiar tan man walk through the door.

The corners of Hakyeon's lips immediately tugged upwards when his eyes landed on the younger. "Sorry I'm late," he pulled out the chair adjacent to Sanghyuk's and sat down, "So, why did you want to meet up?" Hakyeon looked at him with a straight and curious expression as his hand found its way to Sanghyuk's arm, fingers gently gripping around the muscles.

"Uh, no real reason. I just wanted to talk. You know...we've never really talked before," Sanghyuk said with a shrug of shoulders and looked down at Hakyeon's hand. There were two thick layers of fabric separating him from the hand but goosebumps still crept up on his skin.

"Okay, sweetie."

Considering this was the first time that Sanghyuk has ever reached out to him first, Hakyeon knew better than to trust his words. Hakyeon pulled his hand away from the younger when he realized there wasn't anything on the table.

"You didn't order anything?" Without a word, Sanghyuk shook his head to answer, "What do you want to drink?"

"An Americano is fine, Hyung," after hearing the younger's answer, Hakyeon took his leave to go and order their drinks.

Sanghyuk's eyes never left the elder, fixated on his frame as he stood there ordering for them both. It wasn't until then that Sanghyuk noticed he never actually  _looked_  at the man before. But now his eyes were able to study and trail down the man's back to his hips, his round butt that was honestly curvier that most of the girls he's been with, and finally down to his thick thighs. However, he finally had to pull his attention away when Hakyeon turned around, coming back to the table with the server pager.

Once Hakyeon's butt connected with his seat again, things became a bit quiet. Just like usual, Sanghyuk avoided eye contact and neither of them would talk first, making the atmosphere more awkward than it already was for Sanghyuk. Hakyeon on the other hand, couldn't take the feeling anymore and ultimately spoke up.

"You said you wanted to talk right? Well, what do you want to talk about?" Hakyeon leaned in, interested in what the younger would say.

"Um...oh! What made you want to become a baker? I've always kind of wondered that."

"Really?" Hakyeon took a moment to figure out what exactly he wanted to say and how to say it, "Hmm, when I was young I used to...I used to bake with my mom a lot. We did it every now and then and one day I realized it's want I want to do for as long as possible. It's just one of the things that make me happy," he finished as he cleared his throat and looked up at Sanghyuk to keep from drifting off into his memories. "What about you? Why did you want to become an accountant?"

"I've always been good at math, it doesn't trouble me as much as the other students. I figured it would make a good career choice for me since it's something I'm natural at," Sanghyuk pursed his lips, wishing he had more to say about the matter.

"Wow you really are smart-" Hakyeon's words were cut off by the buzzing of the server pagers. After an 'excuse me', he returned back to the country to retrieve their coffee orders.

Sanghyuk uttered a thanks to the elder after his drink was placed in front of him. He blew maybe too hard on the coffee so he could drink as much as he could without burning his tongue, hoping the warm drink would calm his nerves. The large gulps from the younger induced a small chuckle from Hakyeon as he brought his cup to his lips to take his own sip, causing the other to raise his eyebrow in confusion.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're just so cute, Hyuk," Hakyeon continued to chuckle.

There Sanghyuk went again, frozen in his seat as he tried to think of something to say back. Sanghyuk was one who was usually quick with his words and Jaehwan and Ravi could easily testify to that. But something as simple as being called cute had him stuck.

He took in a deep breath in order to get his mind back and the action didn't go past Hakyeon. He was actually surprised Sanghyuk wasn't smart enough to try and hide his nervousness better. Luckily for Hakyeon, there was nothing he enjoyed more at the moment than seeing the younger be so sensitive.

Since the opportunity had shown itself, Hakyeon decided to play with Sanghyuk a little. He leaned in close to the bookkeeper, catching him slightly off guard. The younger kept his hands around the warm paper coffee cup as Hakyeon slowly, teasingly, raked his fingers back through his bangs.

Sanghyuk unconsciously held his breath as the hand traveled further through his hair. Instinctively, he closed his eyes as he waited for a pair of lips to possibly touch his. After his lips remained lonely, he slowly opened his eyes again and saw the baker just grinning at him. Hakyeon retracted his hand, pulling a piece of lint out of Sanghyuk's hair. On the other hand...Sanghyuk looked so disappointed after being left hanging so he pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose instead. Sanghyuk sat there, stunned and dazed, while Hakyeon continued drinking his cappuccino like nothing happened.

"I'm so glad I came," Hakyeon mumbled to himself with that impish smile on his face.

Sanghyuk looked dead at Hakyeon, still confused by the whole situation before finally opening his mouth, "Is it really that fun to play with me?"

"Yes," Hakyeon simply answered.

"I'm not cute by the way," Sanghyuk scoffed before taking a sip of his coffee out of frustration.

"No, you're very cute, sweetie," he disagreed.

"I'm not cute at all. Nothing I do should be even considered 'cute'."

"You are indeed cute," Hakyeon stated, standing very firm in his opinion.

Sanghyuk realized that the man wasn't going to budge soon but had to take one last chance anyways, "I'm not cute. I'm a grown man, there's nothing cute about me."

Just like before, Hakyeon began slowly inching closer to the boy with a cocky smirk growing on his face. "If you're such a man then, why don't you prove it to me?" Hakyeon challenged him as they kept strong eye contact for the first time since he's entered the cafe.

Sanghyuk was determined to keep face in front of him this time. Nonetheless, Hakyeon's sharp unchanging gaze had him gradually cracking under pressure. In the end, Sanghyuk went back to his coffee drink, eyebrows furrowing as a chip of his pride just left him.

"So, Sanghyuk," Hakyeon started again as he sat up straight, "I'm just going to ask again. What did you  _really_  want to meet up for?" With a shrug of his shoulders, Sanghyuk slumped back into his chair and played with his coffee stirrer.

Hakyeon clicked his tongue at the younger's actions, "Hyuk, I believe we've established that you're smarter than that. Just give me a real answer."

"I...I don't know, Hyung. Okay?" Sanghyuk stuttered.

"Bullshit," Hakyeon claimed. Sanghyuk's eyes shot up to the man again, shocked by the sudden language, and were met by Hakyeon's own pair right in front of him.

There was no hint if Hakyeon was just teasing him again and Sanghyuk's gaze faltered once more as he took quick looks around the cafe. "Hyung...there's other people here," he whispered, knowing that the other was close enough to hear him.

"Oh really? I had no idea. Is that all you really care about right now?" Sanghyuk could feel puffs of the elder's breath brush against his lips. "If you honestly want to talk, then we'll talk. But if not," Hakyeon spoke under his breath as he pulled Sanghyuk's chair closer to him, "touch me."

Hakyeon's hand was already trailing up Sanghyuk's torso, hidden beneath the inside of the open jacket he was wearing. He could feel the younger's chest rising and falling under his touch and continued leading his hand higher until his fingers were hooked on the nape of the flustered young man.

Even though there was some slight hesitation, Hakyeon didn't need to repeat himself. Sanghyuk's hand eventually found itself underneath the table as his fingertips slid along the denim of Hakyeon's jeans.

"Good boy," Hakyeon muttered approvingly before closing the gap between them.

The praise traveled down Sanghyuk's back as a shiver, pushing him to lean more into the kiss. Sanghyuk became lightheaded quickly at the feeling of Hakyeon's supple lips against his own. His fingers tried to dig deeper into the tough fabric covering Hakyeon's thigh until the elder held his hand, stopping him from doing so. Hakyeon knew how to control himself in their current setting, giving Sanghyuk just what he needed but nothing more. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk couldn't help but give into the urges he's been resisting as he tried to deepen the kiss.

Hakyeon broke the kiss before things could get any more heated and whispered in the other's ear, "There's more if you want it. All you have to do is say so."

A sigh came from the younger as he rubbed his thumb against the toned thigh, trying to prepare himself to say those words. "I want more..." he mumbled.

After hearing the unsatisfactory sheepish reply, Hakyeon pulled his hand back, supporting his chin with his palm to rest against the table. "Do you really think that's going to get you anywhere?"

"Fine," Sanghyuk grunted. "I want more," he declared loud enough to please Hakyeon, but not for others to clearly make out the words.

"That's better, cutie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really say anything on the first chapter but I'll do it here. This is my first time posting a chaptered fic to ao3 (it's also my first completed chaptered fic) and I just want to thank everybody for giving it a chance.  
> After today, I'll try to stick to a schedule of uploading a chapter every day, if not then every other day.
> 
> Also wanted to talk about the one of tags, the light/newbie bdsm tag. I've done research for hours on end on bdsm but I have ultimately never experienced it. So if anything's iffy when those parts come, please tell me, I'll try to fix it. 
> 
> Welp, I'm gonna go now. Thanks for reading


	3. Finally

All Sanghyuk knew was that somehow he ended up in the bedroom of Hakyeon's place and somehow managed to not completely rip off the other's clothes by now.

"Hyung, please, can you hurry up," Sanghyuk pleaded, voice strained and laced with desperation that he failed at hiding.

His fingernails grazed against Hakyeon's back, feeling the soft skin under his touch as the elder nipped along his collarbones. Hakyeon's body draped over Sanghyuk's, covering him in warmth while keeping most of his weight off the younger. But Sanghyuk wanted to feel their bodies pressed together and sweaty skin stuck to each other.

"Be more patient, Hyukkie. Where's the fun in rushing?" Hakyeon coaxed, letting his lips ghost over Sanghyuk's neck as a trail of goosebumps followed their path.

"Says the guy who's been hitting on me for a year," his grumble only caused the sound of Hakyeon's laughter and even the bright tone make him more frustrated in their current situation. He didn't want to be that guy, a minute man, but he didn't know what he would do if he didn't feel more of Hakyeon in the next minute.

However, Sanghyuk was right. Hakyeon was waiting a year for this very moment and there was no way he would let it easily slip through his fingers or pass by like any other day. He took delight in the way Sanghyuk's muscled tensed at his touch, especially his stomach as Hakyeon rose his shirt. The sweet little gasps that came from Sanghyuk were his fuel as he took the younger man's nipple into between his lips. His tongue swirled around the sensitive nub, his teeth gently tugged, trying to find the right way to hear Sanghyuk's breath hitch or feel his chest stutter.

Hakyeon would have continued the sweet tantalizing pace but he couldn't ignore the clawing at his back, encouraging him to do more. As if Sanghyuk could tell Hakyeon was finally starting to speed up, he attempted to pull at the elder's shirt but instead he was met with a loud smack against his hand.

"Ow, what the hell?" the words that were supposed to come out in a stern voice, protesting the sudden hit, came out as a whine and Sanghyuk could probably bet this was the worst time Hakyeon has ever had.

Hakyeon rested his forehead against the other's bare chest, muffling more of his laughter with the body underneath him. "I'm sorry, sweetie," Hakyeon pressed a kiss to Sanghyuk's lips, hoping it would suffice as an apology. When Sanghyuk's arms found their way around his slim waist, holding him close, Hakyeon figured Sanghyuk accepted it.

Sanghyuk was finally rid of his shirt, the fabric already lost somewhere besides the bed, and his toned abs, as well as the muscles that defined the rest of his torso, were exposed. Hakyeon attached his lips to Sanghyuk's neck once again, licking small trails down his skin. He took the younger's bobbing Adam's apple in his mouth, feeling fingers gradually dig into his waist, and gently sucked on it, pulling another sigh out of Sanghyuk.

After exploring his neck, Hakyeon peppered Sanghyuk's upper body with small kisses, licks, and nibbles. Sanghyuk's pale chest and stomach were covered in marks scattered over his skin. Hakyeon would have taken his time to look at his work, beautifully painted with various reds and pinks but something within him pushed him to keep going.

Next to come off was Sanghyuk's pants. Hakyeon quickly undid them and pulled them halfway down Sanghyuk's legs along with his boxers, letting the younger kick them off the rest of the way. Hakyeon marveled at the thick firm thighs beneath him and couldn't help but reach out and feel them. He dug his short nails into the sides of the muscles, marking Sanghyuk's body even further, as he leaned down to bite into his pelvic bone, completely bypassing the cock that was aching to be touched.

Sanghyuk let out a gasp louder than he intended as he felt the elder's warm mouth against his member. He mumbled curses under his breath at how good it felt to be inside Hakyeon's mouth while his hand clutched at the bed sheet. As good as it felt, he still couldn't bring himself to look down at the lewd actions below his waist and rolled his head back against the pillow, his eyes glued to the ceiling. That, however, earned him another slap on his thigh while Hakyeon pulled away from his length.

"Look at me, Hyuk," Hakyeon ordered, speaking with the tip of Sanghyuk's member still heavy on his tongue. Sanghyuk didn't know why, but he felt the need obey the elder and stared at the sight with his mouth agape.

Hakyeon bobbed his head along the hard shaft, cheeks hollowed out every time he moved down. He held the base still, pulling away in between bobs to run the pad of his tongue along the veins trailing Sanghyuk's cock and his smooth tip. The older man then replaced his mouth with one of his hands to lick up the precum that leaked from the slit.

It took everything Sanghyuk had to not thrust his hips into the other's mouth as his hand raked through the brown strands of hair covering the man's forehead. He figured that if he even tried it'll probably result in him being slapped again. There was enough pleasure in just watching anyways if the moans that left his mouth suggested anything.

With a final kiss on the tip, Hakyeon pulled away completely much to Sanghyuk's dissatisfaction. Sanghyuk wasn't the only one that was needy. Hakyeon could feel his own hard on pressing against his tight jeans, probably staining his underwear. His clothes were suffocating him and he wanted to get rid of them immediately, but he needed to show some control in front of the younger.

As Hakyeon teasingly stripped out of his plain t-shirt, Sanghyuk stared in amazement at the body that seemed to glow. Hakyeon's bangs were stuck to his forehead, lips were swollen and slicked with spit, delicate fingers fumbling with the button of his pants, and Sanghyuk couldn't remember seeing anything more angelic. The idea of shame left Sanghyuk's head as well as he sat up on his hands to gape at the rest of Hakyeon's body.

Only after Hakyeon stepped out of his jeans and briefs, completely bare, did he realize that he was being blatantly stared at. It wasn't the first time and it was most likely not the last but he couldn't handle those sharp eyes boring into him for some reason. He could only think of one way to get the younger to stop in his fogged mind. So he threw his shirt resting on the floor at Sanghyuk's face. It only seemed logical.

"What-" Sanghyuk started, flinging the shirt from his eyes back onto the floor where it belonged, "What was that for?"

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Hakyeon question back and apparently caught the younger in a stupor.

"I didn't realize... Sorry," Sanghyuk raised his hand, scratching at the small hairs on his nape. Embarrassment began to flood his thoughts as he wondered how he could have stupidly ruined the moment.

Hakyeon could feel the air around them getting thick, and not with the smell of sex which he so badly needed. He crawled back on the bed and settled himself in Sanghyuk's lap to share a kiss with him, feeling Sanghyuk's rough fingers land on his hip. There was no rushing from anybody this time as Hakyeon tried to comfort the young man with his touch. "It's okay," Hakyeon reassured him before gently sucking on his bottom lip.

Sanghyuk held onto Hakyeon's frame tightly as he leaned himself back against the bed, the cheap springs squeaking under their shared weight. This time, Hakyeon asked for permission to deepen the kiss with his tongue swiping over the part between Sanghyuk's lips. Sanghyuk filled their mouths with soft moans as he groped Hakyeon's ass, separating his cheeks and exposing his twitching hole to the cold air. He couldn't seem to keep his hands still, needing to touch every part of the older man.

A string of saliva stretched between the two as Hakyeon pushed himself off Sanghyuk's chest to reach over to his nightstand. Sanghyuk watched with curious eyes, his hand now tugging at their lengths together, as Hakyeon grabbed a bottle of lubricant and a condom out of the top drawer. He forced himself to not think about how many times Hakyeon might have done this very exact thing with other guys.

The items were tossed onto the bed before Hakyeon seamlessly switched positions with Sanghyuk. He ignored whatever look Sanghyuk gave him as he spread legs apart, knees bent. Sanghyuk took a moment to gaze at the naked man underneath him, not believing he was in this position and that Hakyeon was so enticing in his position.

Sanghyuk kneeled down between Hakyeon's welcoming legs as he prepped two of his fingers with the lube that was prepared. Meanwhile, Hakyeon stole the bottle to make sure a decent amount was spread over his tight ring of muscles. Sanghyuk swallowed at the sight before pressing the tip of his index finger over those muscles, pushing hard enough to break past them and finally feel Hakeyon's hot walls. The feeling was quickly becoming addicting as Sanghyuk pushes the rest of his finger in faster than what he should have. Luckily Hakyeon didn't show any signs of pain but instead encouraged more.

It wasn't long until a second finger was added as Sanghyuk thrust them in the elder with a quick rhythm, drawing out heavy pants and moans from the man. Hakyeon was close to telling the younger to just go ahead and fuck him but he wanted everything to last as long as possible. He pulled Sanghyuk down by the back of his neck for another quick kiss. Sanghyuk used that opportunity to let his free hand roam the other's toned body then tried scissoring his fingers inside him, earning a louder moan from him.

"Hyuk, Hyuk, that's enough," Hakyeon finally breathed out as he clawed at Sanghyuk's arms.

Sanghyuk didn't need to be told twice and immediately pulled his fingers out. He grabbed the condom and tore off the wrapper before sliding the thin piece of latex over cock. After covering his shaft with more lube, Sanghyuk pressed himself at Hakyeon's hole before pushing past the muscles that were still tight. A loud groan escaped his mouth at the tight heat that was now surrounding him as he filled Hakyeon completely. Hakyeon held Sanghyuk's hips still until he was ready enough for the younger to move.

"Don't stop until I come," Hakyeon announced. Once Sanghyuk nodded, showing that he understood, Hakyeon let go of his hips.

Without wasting another second, the younger began thrusting at a steady pace into the man. Soon, the room was filled with their heavy pants and the lewd sound of their skin slapping together. Hakyeon raised himself to meet Sanghyuk's pace, little puffs of air leaving his lips, and reached out to attach himself to Sanghyuk again.

Whenever Sanghyuk's pace sped up again, or whenever Sanghyuk pressed kisses to the other's damp skin, Hakyeon sung praises in his ear. Sanghyuk wanted to hear more, to know that he was making Hakyeon feel as good as he was feeling. Sanghyuk buried his face in the crook of Hakyeon's shoulder while hooking his arm underneath one of the man's knees and induced more of those lovely moans.

As good as their bodies felt pressed against each other with the thin layers of sweat, Hakyeon needed something different. He pushed the younger off of him to flip him on his back and straddle his waist instead like before. Sanghyuk's hands gripped the firm thighs on either side of him as Hakyeon slowly lowered himself on his lap, filling himself up again. While in the new position, Hakyeon rolled his hips into Sanghyuk's lap as his nails scratched his chest, leaving behind red marks.

Not too long afterward, their breathing became erratic and Sanghyuk reached his climax first. The younger reached for Hakyeon's cock to try and bring him to the edge as well, remembering what he said earlier. Soon with the help of the pulls on his shaft, Hakyeon was brought to his orgasm and coated the younger's stomach with his come.

Hakyeon lifted his hips, letting the member slip out of his hole, while Sanghyuk laid back trying to catch his breath. He could almost smile at the mess known as Sanghyuk that was panting on his bed. Instead, he reached over to his nightstand once more to grab a few tissues to wipe his come off the younger's stomach and take off the condom to toss them both in the nearby bin. After cleaning up a bit, Hakyeon leaned down to give him a quick kiss on his lips.

"You felt so good, sweetie," Hakyeon mumbled against his lips as he massaged his chest. "You did so well. Is this really your first time with a man, Hyuk-ah?" he cheekily added and Sanghyuk could only roll his eyes and didn't even bother answering the question, partially due to the sleepiness that suddenly overwhelmed him.

The baker got off the younger and the bed to gather his clothes. He planned on taking a shower, maybe Sanghyuk would take his at home, and also thought about how he would have to change his sheets before going to bed. He turned around with his clothes in hand to check on the other but was surprised to see him snuggled under the covers instead. He opened his mouth to speak up and tell Sanghyuk to get dressed but something inside him made him stop.

"Shit..." he muttered to himself and dropped everything back on the floor. They really did seem to belong there. Just for today, he thought and joined the younger under the covers. Just for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you guys are enjoying so far. Please drop a comment or a kudos to let me know, I'll gladly appreciate it.


	4. Regulations

"Hyung? I thought you said you weren't coming today?" Jaehwan looked up from his spot, in the middle of organizing the various ink colors and needles for Ravi.

"I said I wasn't going to bring food today, not that I wasn't coming at all," Hakyeon corrected him as he let the front door close behind him. Jaehwan pouted at the fact that there wasn't going to be any free lunch for him.

Hakyeon made his way over to the front desk, smiling at the bookkeeper he hasn't seen in a couple of days. The younger looked up at him with a straight face, wondering why he's here if not for food. However, the baker ignored his expression and leaned over the desk to take a good look at the other's wrist, confirming the thoughts in his own head.

"Just what I thought," he muttered to himself then placed the small gift bag he brought in the shop on the desk for Sanghyuk to see, "How does a student not have a good watch?"

"Huh?" Sanghyuk responded before taking a box out of the gift bag and opened it, curiosity getting the best of him. Inside the box was a black leather watch with a navy blue dial and gold colored lines for the hours and seconds accompanied by simple gold hands. He could tell by the ticking second hand that Hakyeon already set up the watch so it'll show the correct time. The overall design of that watch was simple but just from touching the leather it was evident that it was made in good quality.

While Sanghyuk just sat there staring at the watch, Jaehwan joined them at the desk to see exactly what all the fuss was about. The watch immediately caught his eye and he could only respond by staring at Hakyeon in disbelief. Jaehwan knew what the random gift meant but he never expected Hakyeon to go this far.

"So? Do you like it?" Hakyeon asked a bit impatiently since there was yet to be a reply.

"Oh ah y-yea I like it," Sanghyuk stuttered, still too in shock by the unexpected gift to even utter a thank you.

Nevertheless, the response was enough for Hakyeon as the corners of his lips tugged up into a small grin. He reached over to pet the top of Sanghyuk's hair even though his actions were being closely observed by Jaehwan who was standing right there.

"Okay, well I have to go back to the bakery. I just came to drop this off. I'll see you guys later," Hakyeon waved to the two statues he was surrounded by before making his leave.

The chime of the doorbell snapped Jaehwan out of his daze and he immediately dashed out of the parlor to catch up with Hakyeon. Once outside, Jaehwan pulled Hakyeon over by his arm to stand in front of the building next door so the others in the parlor can't see them. Jaehwan couldn't bring himself to communicate through words and instead kept gesturing to the bookkeeper that was inside the tattoo shop. It took a moment for the assistant to be able to be able to pull himself together speaking in a heated hushed tone.

"You guys are fucking?" he finally managed to say. Hakyeon raised his eyebrows at the question, waiting to see what else Jaehwan would discuss that wasn't so obvious. The silence from the elder made Jaehwan wonder how to state his thoughts more clearly until he formed another sentence in his head. "So...does he already know what exactly this is between you guys?"

"He'll know sooner or later," Hakyeon stated. Both of them knew how intuitive the youngest was but it was still something to worry about for Jaehwan.

Jaehwan puffed out a heavy sigh since he wasn't too fond of the answer he was given. Usually, Jaehwan stayed out of these matters when it came to Hakyeon and he knew from just that fact alone that this was really starting to bother him since he was speaking up about it. If it was one person that Hakyeon never want to distress it was the assistant. Hakyeon's hand rose to meet the other's cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb in order to soothe his thoughts.

"Do you not trust what I said the other day?" Hakyeon asked as he peered straight into Jaehwan's crestfallen eyes.

"There wasn't much to trust, Hyung," Jaehwan pointed out.

Hakyeon pressed a gentle kiss to the other's sharp nose. "I'll...do what I can," he hesitated to say. However, Hakyeon had no idea if he was even lying or not as his eyes traveled up to meet Jaehwan's forehead instead of keeping eye contact.

The sullen expression on Jaehwan's face didn't change as Hakyeon reached behind him to lightly pat his butt. "I think you should probably get back to work, Jaehwan. You don't want to get in trouble with Ravi."

"Not really. All I'll have to do is just pull out my pouty face and he'll be fine," Jaehwan shrugged as Hakyeon chuckled a bit at the statement, knowing just how true it was. "I'll let you go, though. Bye, Hyung," he tried to smile back at the other before turning around to walk back to the shop. Hakyeon gave him one last pat on his butt, hoping that he'll cheer up soon, before returning to his parked car.

When Jaehwan made it back inside the building, Ravi looked up from the person he was currently working on to stare the man down. "How could you just leave the building like that?" Ravi asked with a stern voice.

"I'm sorry, Ravi," Jaehwan faced his boss with the same pout he mentioned earlier and he saw his eyes soften, "I just got too excited." Hyuk turned his nose up at the childish voice that possessed the man in front of him.

"Awe, that's okay, Jaehwannie," Ravi cooed, "Just think twice next time, alright?" Jaehwan nodded with the lovely smile that he knew Ravi adored before sitting next to Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk was already sporting the watch that was given to him, touching it every now and then with his other hand as if it wasn't real. "Do you really like it?" Jaehwan suddenly chimed and the younger looked over at him to nod in response. "You know," Jaehwan started as he let out a bit of laughter, "I joked about it a lot but I didn't actually expect you guys to get together. Especially after all this time."

"What? What makes you say -" the glimmer of the light bouncing off the watch's metal made Sanghyuk stop mid-sentence. There was no way he could try to deny the relationship now with the watch being the biggest piece of evidence there is.

"I don't know, Hyung. The attention is nice, obviously," he rose his wrist to emphasize his point "Plus I guess he's a little handsome," he mumbled but it was still clear enough for Jaehwan to hear. "Don't tell him I said that," he demanded afterward.

"I won't tell him," Jaehwan laughed. He noticed that Sanghyuk still hasn't taken his eyes off the watch and even saw a hint of uneasiness within them. "Hey, is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Sanghyuk looked up to make eye contact, hoping that would make his words more believable.

Jaehwan swiped his tongue over his lips, wetting them before opening his mouth again, "Well if anything, anything is ever wrong, you know you can come to me right?" Hyuk nodded his head then took a deep breath as he returned to his work on the computer in front of him.

Hakyeon sat in front of his own computer back at his bakery's office. His bowl of instant noodles was quickly bloating besides the monitor as he solely focused on the website blaring from the bright screen. Lunch was still going on so he had some time to himself.

The last time he visited the particular site was a while ago but it was still the blog he frequented most often after a couple of years and he reminded himself to check on any new updates that may have been posted. There were various relationship and lifestyle advice from professionals in the specific fields of power play, sadomasochism, and other kinks. All things that helped Hakyeon figure out what type of person he could possibly be and what he wanted to do with himself.

Now, with something new happening, he needed to brush himself up on the words of the professionals to learn how to control it.

Later that night, Sanghyuk wound up in Hakyeon's bed again thanks to a text the elder sent him. His chest was still heaving from the orgasm he just had and Hakyeon already cleaned him up just like last time. The baker crawled back into the bed, leaning over the younger to press a kiss against his swollen lips.

"Um, Hyung...How much did the watch cost by the way?" Sanghyuk suddenly brought, catching the elder's attention.

"You don't need to know," he simply answered before trying to hush the younger with another kiss. Sanghyuk accepted it at first until the other tried to deepen the kiss then he gently pushed him away by his shoulders to keep talking.

"But does this mean that we're dating? I mean, I didn't get you a gift or anything..." the younger muttered and Hakyeon could just about laugh at the naïveté of the accountant beneath him.

"You do not need to buy a gift. And no, this doesn't mean we're dating," Hakyeon completely moved off of him to sit up against his headboard.

Sanghyuk pursed his lips as he thought about what Hakyeon said. "I'm not calling you a sugar daddy," he blurted out and Hakyeon couldn't hold in his laughter anymore.

"Fuck, you're so cute," Hakyeon mumbled, watching Sanghyuk scrunch up his nose at the comment. "I'm not a sugar daddy, but let's just say that you could be my new boy toy," he confessed as he reached down to run his fingers through the other's soft hair.

"I'm a boy toy? What does that even mean?" Sanghyuk questioned as he sat up and faced the other then covered himself with a sheet after realizing how exposed he still was.

"It means that we get to do things like this. And if you're a good boy, you get stuff like that," he answered and gestured to the watch that was currently on Hyuk's wrist.

A minute went by as Sanghyuk thought about what was just said and was still confused on whether this was a real relationship between them or not. "So...do you have other boy toys too?" Sanghyuk hesitated to ask, afraid of what the answer might be.

"No sweetie, I don't and I will not. I also don't expect you to acquire other sugar daddies too," Hakyeon joked but was the only one to find it funny as Sanghyuk looked at him unamusingly though he slowly started to take in everything the elder told him. "Come here," Hakyeon beckoned him closer with his finger before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

 Sanghyuk changed his position to sit beside Hakyeon with their shoulders touching each other. He wasn't sure which other questions he should ask and he wasn't sure if he felt more at ease in the new relationship title. But instead of talking about it any further, he decided to change topics instead to get his mind off of it.

"You know that new thing I did?" Hyuk spoke up without a warning.

"What thing?"

"The thing I did during sex," he shamelessly acknowledged.

Hakyeon racked his brain for what the younger could possibly be talking about that was any different from the first time they had sex. Sanghyuk clicked his tongue when the elder couldn't figure it out fast enough, "The thing called hitting the prostate. How did you forget that fast."

The room echoed with laughter as Hakyeon swore to himself that that was possibly the cutest thing he's ever heard from the younger. "I'm sorry, cutie. What about it?"

"Well I did a little research and found out about it and so I studied how to do it for you," he explained boastfully.

"How exactly did you 'study'?" Hakyeon closed his eyes as he anticipated the answer.

"Well, I watched gay porn for the first time. But just for research," Hakyeon quickly found out that he was wrong about his previous thought and that  _this_  was the cutest thing Sanghyuk has ever said.

"You're so cute, Hyukkie," he managed to say while still laughing. Sanghyuk sighed at the response, still not being able to figure out what was so "cute" about him. He was talking about sex and porn for goodness sakes.

However, Hakyeon took his mind off of it with a quick kiss. "You did a good job, sweetie. Now go get dressed, I have to wake up early tomorrow." His eyes unconsciously traveled along Sanghyuk's body as he got up to follow his orders. The conversation he had early earlier with Jaehwan popped into his head and he closed his eyes, hoping that Sanghyuk is as smart as he usually seemed to be.

* * *

Some nights later, Hakyeon tried to cure his sudden surge of boredom with a book he's already read a couple of times before. When that wasn't working, he picked up his phone to send a text to Sanghyuk. Upon looking at his messages with the bookkeeper, he saw all the texts he's ignored the past few days since he's deemed Sanghyuk to be his new boy toy and continued to ignore them as he sent his text.

 

_chakchak: [22:13] Come over~_

 

 

_iamhyuk: [22:15]_ _can't. studying_

 

_chakchak: [22:15]_ _Take a break. I bet you need one~~~_

 

Hakyeon waited for a reply as if the younger actually had the option of turning him down. He got off of his bed to check his hair in the wall mirror beside his small reach-in closet, making sure his bangs hung nicely before finally feeling his phone buzz in his other hand.

 

_iamhyuk: [22:18]_ _i'll be there soon_

 

"Thought so," he muttered to himself in amusement as he threw his phone on his bed beside his book.

Since he knew it wouldn't be long till Sanghyuk arrived because he lived in the same apartment building as Jaehwan, he decided to help pass the small amount of time by getting ready and brushing his teeth, especially since he didn't already do so after eating dinner. Afterward, he brought the same book he was reading before out to the small living room, reading through the familiar story until he finally heard a knock at his front door.

The peephole revealed Sanghyuk standing behind the door and he quickly opened it, welcoming the younger with a soft kiss on his lips as he pulled him inside by his belt buckle. His hands traveled up along the bookkeeper's sturdy torso until his fingers brushed against what seemed to be book bag straps. Hakyeon leaned back from the kiss, realizing that the younger was indeed carrying a book bag.

"Sweetie, why are you carrying this with you?" Hakyeon asked as he closed and locked the door behind Sanghyuk.

"Oh, I had to tell my parents that I was going to study at the campus library. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have believed that if I didn't take my book bag with me," he shrugged and took the bag off his shoulders, setting it down beside the coffee table.

Hakyeon nodded at his explanation, of course, Sanghyuk couldn't disclose where he was really going. However, the fact that Sanghyuk needed to discuss where he was going with his parents in the first place should have bothered Hakyeon, it almost did, but he shrugged it off. Sanghyuk's still an adult nonetheless. Just a leashed adult.

"You've been studying all day, haven't you? Have you even had dinner yet?"

"No. I've just had a couple of snacks here and there," Sanghyuk frowned as he realized just how hungry he was and rubbed his stomach, "You wouldn't mind cooking something, would you? I know it's late, though."

"It's okay, Hyukkie. I'll just whip up something really quick," he assured Sanghyuk with a light peck to his nose, "In the meantime just keep studying until it's done."

Once Hakyeon walked over to the kitchen, Sanghyuk sat down on the couch and pulled his math book out of his book bag to resume reading the last page he stopped on. Meanwhile, Hakyeon grabbed a pack of ramyun out of the cupboard along with two pieces of tuna and gochujang filled triangle kimbap. Since it was already pretty late for dinner, he didn't plan on cooking anything too heavy for the younger to eat. The apartment remained quiet excepting for the sound of boiling water as Sanghyuk worked on review problems and as Hakyeon began cooking the ramyun.

"Hyung, why haven't you been answering my texts by the way?" Sanghyuk took a quick second to look up from his math problems to peer over at the elder.

"Because I've been busy," Hakyeon simply spoke. The excuse, however, didn't go over Sanghyuk as he scrunched up his face in dismay.

Luckily for Sanghyuk, the ramyun finished quickly and soon the pot of noodles was set on the table with a pair of chopsticks. Hakyeon unwrapped the two pieces of triangle kimbap halfway before setting them on a small plate which helped to add color to the small convenience-store-like meal.

"Hyukkie, the food's ready," Hakyeon called out to the student but he didn't need to raise his voice since the apartment was that small.

"Ah, I didn't even get to finish a page," Sanghyuk grumbled and placed the textbook on the coffee table before getting up to sit at the dining table.

As soon as his butt hit the chair he picked up the chopsticks and began digging into the noodles. Hakyeon stood behind the chair to the younger's left as he watched him eat. He stood there admiring the definition in the younger's face from his cheekbones to his wide nose, and up to his eyes that glimmered with his boyish charm.

When the student realized he was being stared at, he locked eye contact with the elder himself, "Are you not eating?"

"No, I already had dinner earlier. Just keep eating," he reached out to stroke the other's hair, the short soft strands of hair separating between his fingers.

Instead of continuing to eat like he was told, he continued having a conversation with the other, "Hyung, so how is the bakery going?"

"It's as fine as it usually is, especially with it being graduation season for some people. What about school? How's that?" Hakyeon asked, taking his hand out of the younger's hair.

"School's the same. I just have a test coming up soon," he shrugged nonchalantly before eating another mouthful of ramyun.

"I'm sure you'll do amazing on the test," Hakyeon commented then let Sanghyuk eat in peace as he walked over to his couch, grabbing the textbook that was placed on the table. He opened the book to a random page out of curiosity as he sat down. Even by just skimming through the pages he could see the difficulty in the math problems and gasped, "Wow," to himself as the problems didn't even look like math anymore.

"This looks like a completely different language," he mused to himself but it was still loud enough for Sanghyuk to hear considering the small space.

The student laughed at the comparison. "Honestly, it kind of is. But then you learn how to read it and you can understand everything," he stated proudly due to his ability to read the foreign language.

"Okay, well you can be the bilingual one between us."

"Actually trilingual."

"Hush up and eat," the younger belted out laughing then began finishing his food.

After finishing both the ramyun and the triangle kimbap, Sanghyuk placed the used dishes in the sink and gave them a quick rinse before joining Hakyeon on the couch.  Suddenly, the textbook couldn't hold Hakyeon's interest anymore now that the younger man was next to him. He quickly set the book back where he found it, turning to face Sanghyuk and closed off the little bit of distance that was between them and connected their lips.

The taste of spicy ramen still lingered on the younger's supple lips. Hakyeon moaned softly, wanting to lick the flavor off of Sanghyuk's lips. Sanghyuk slowly began to kiss Hakyeon back but gradually became bolder as the kiss went on. Hakyeon pressed his hand against Sanghyuk's nape to bring him closer, taking a quick breath before deepening the kiss, their noses bumping and pressing against each other. Sanghyuk groaned in appreciation as he felt Hakyeon nibbling at his bottom lip so he would open his mouth. He parted his lips, letting the elder's into his mouth and the two began a battle for dominance in the kiss.

Hakyeon moved from his sitting position to straddle the younger man's lap, causing him to gasp slightly, and he took advantage of that to take control over the kiss. Sanghyuk wrapped his arms around the elder, making Hakyeon feel small in comparison to the big and strong arms surrounding him. They continued like that, completely immersed in each other until Sanghyuk felt the need to breathe again.

He gently pulled away from the kiss, looking up into the elder's eyes, "I can't believe this is happening," he let out with a soft laugh.

Hakyeon slid his hand down from behind Sanghyuk's neck to his broad shoulders, giving them a small squeeze. "I can't believe you tried to claim to be straight," he joked and all expressions were wiped from Sanghyuk's face.

"I just needed time," he explained as he gently caressed the other's back.

Sanghyuk leaned in towards Hakyeon, dipping his head at an angle to plant small kisses on the elder's neck. The chaste kisses against his sensitive skin made Hakyeon come to his senses and realize how close he's been letting Sanghyuk get to him. It was bad enough this was the longest he's ever known somebody he's been with, but he's also never talked to them like he does with Sanghyuk. He knew there was no way he could let things continue with the way they were no matter how he felt about it.

Hakyeon was pulled out of his thoughts with his own moans after Sanghyuk found his pulse in the crook of his neck and sucked on it lightly. The elder no longer was in the mood for foreplay and pushed Sanghyuk back against the bed by his chest. He gripped the bottom of the younger man's shirt, beginning to pull it up, "Come on, just fuck me," he demanded.

The student placed his hands over Hakyeon's to stop him. "Can't we stay like this? Kissing...talking," his voice trailed off before he could even finish talking as the elder started slowly rolling his hips into his lap. "Okay, fine. Only if we make this quick cause I have to study."

Sanghyuk's pants were already in the middle of being unbuttoned thanks to Hakyeon. "Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you guys are enjoying so far. Please drop a comment or a kudos to let me know, I'll gladly appreciate it.


	5. Elusion

The tattoo parlor was looking like any normal day. Everybody was finishing their lunch that Hakyeon bought for them and he began collecting the trash from everyone to throw it all away together. While Jaehwan and Ravi took turns washing their hands in the back of the parlor, Hakyeon leaned over the counter to give Sanghyuk a kiss goodbye. He didn't leave without waving bye to the other men in the shop and walked out through the front door, letting the bell echo in the shop behind him.

Ravi's face twisted in disgust after unfortunately witnessing Hakyeon kiss his employee. "I still can't believe you guys are actually together," he commented as he set up and organized his supplies, getting ready for any walk-ins that might show up.

However, his words reminded Sanghyuk that he didn't actually feel like he was  _together_  with Hakyeon. In the past two weeks, the situation between him and Hakyeon already took a turn and he didn't know how to deal with it. He raised his hand to gesture Jaehwan to come over after the man finally faced him.

Jaehwan sat in the spare chair next to Sanghyuk and tapped his fingers against the top of the desk, "What's up?"

"Hyung...you said I can come to you if anything is ever wrong, right?"

"Yup, why? Did something happen?" he responded and laid his palms flat on the desk, scooting his seat closer to Sanghyuk so the bookkeeper wouldn't have to talk as loud.

"Well, I don't feel like I'm in a relationship with Hakyeon hyung anymore," Sanghyuk started and looked at the computer screen as he talked, not being able to make eye contact with the assistant, "He doesn't talk to me anymore and he doesn't answer my texts or calls..."

Jaehwan kept quiet, waiting to see what else the younger man would say. "He only texts back when he wants sex and that's it. And even when we had sex the first few times, we could at least ask each other about our days but now...he doesn't even allow that," once he finally started venting about all the issues he's been bottling up in his head, he couldn't stop until it was all out in the air. "I'm tired of being treated like a pet or toy or whatever he said. And now that I think about it - the gifts, the food, it's all just a form of manipulation for me to stay and not complain."

The conclusion that Sanghyuk thought of at the spur of the moment surprised Jaehwan. Even he never thought of the gifts like that after knowing the man for so long. Jaehwan could tell just how much this was all bothering the poor boy just from the fact that everything was spilling out of his mouth so easily.

"And at first, I honestly enjoyed the praises that he gave me...but just like everything else it emphasizes the point that he only sees me as his pet instead of a person," Sanghyuk's shaky voice became stable again as Jaehwan calmed him down by rubbing his back soothingly, "You know, I would have waited a bit longer to see if maybe things will get better, but considering how quickly things already turned bad, I don't think I want to risk that." He twisted the watch he was wearing around his wrist, remembering that is was only a little under three weeks ago when it was given to him.

"The only thing you can do is just talk to him about all this, as soon as possible," Jaehwan advised him, still keeping his hand on the stressed younger's back.

Sanghyuk let out a frustrated grunt as he slumped back in his chair as he hoped his friend would have had more advice for him. "This is ridiculous," he mumbled to himself. He dreaded the fact that he knew Jaehwan was right, but he truly didn't want to talk to the guy that was making him feel like shit.

"Hey, Jaehwan, did you finish that design you were working on yesterday?" Ravi suddenly chimed in from the other side of the shop and Jaehwan replied saying he did. "Okay good, I need you to show me the sketches."

"Alright," Jaehwan gave Sanghyuk a few supportive pats on his shoulder before getting up to follow his boss's order.

After Sanghyuk got off work that evening, he decided not to waste any more time and just talk to Hakyeon, hoping to get it over with as quick as possible. The decision was so last minute that he didn't even call to tell Hakyeon that he was coming over to his apartment - not that it mattered since he doesn't answer his calls anyways. Once he showed up to the man's front door, he took a moment to organize his thoughts and plan what he was going to say. With a deep breath, he knocked reluctantly on the door and waited for Hakyeon to answer.

The door was swung open and Hakyeon was surprised to see Sanghyuk on the other side. "I wasn't expecting you to show up today," he stated, wondering why the younger man was here without a text invitation.

"I know, but there's something I need to talk to you about," he responded. A part of him was glad that the man was at home so he wouldn't be standing in the middle of the building's hallway like a weirdo but the other part of him wanted to postpone this whole discussion.

"Well I'm busy, Hyuk," Hakyeon brushed him off and went back to his living room to continue hanging up the laundry he recently washed to dry. He left the door open behind him and Sanghyuk felt it would be okay to follow him inside.

"I'm sorry for randomly showing up, but what I want to talk about is really important and I wouldn't have come here like this if it wasn't," he apologized. The elder stayed quiet and continued folding his clothes as if he didn't hear Sanghyuk. "Do you even care about me as a person?"

Hakyeon immediately stopped what he was doing and turned to look back at the younger, "What?"

"Why don't we talk anymore? Why don't you text me back?"

The older man let out a sigh as he picked up another shirt, "Can we talk about this later, I'm busy right now, Hyuk."

"This is why we need to discuss this now because you just dismiss everything I try to say," Sanghyuk retorted but then had to calm himself down before he got too heated too soon. "I just don't like being treated like a pet or a toy or whatever."

The baker turned his back to finish hanging his shirt on his drying rack. "We already talked about this," he responded with a soft and tired voice. He already knew where this conversation was heading and he didn't want to face it.

"No, things have changed since then and I don't understand why. It hasn't even been that long and everything has already gone to shit. Now you just ignore all my attempts to talk or even just be close to you unless it's sex," Sanghyuk blurted out with a raised tone, making Hakyeon face him once again.

"Hyuk!...Hyuk, did I or did I not explain things to you? If there was something you still didn't understand you should have asked in the beginning," Hakyeon responded out of frustration.

"In the beginning, I didn't feel like you were using me. I was uneasy about being in a relationship but that was it. This isn't even a relationship anymore. Or was that your plan all along? To make me feel like I could actually be close to you only to end up as your sex slave?" All of Sanghyuk's plans about what he was going to say were no longer in play as he began ranting at the older man.

"Han Sanghyuk!" the younger jumped at the mention of his full name. "Can't you see I do not have time for this?"

Sanghyuk stuttered before speaking up again as the aggravated tone in the elder's voice still rang in his ears. "Why can't we just talk about this?" his words were ignored as the elder continued filling up his drying rack with the freshly washed clothes, "You're just doing laundry! People gossip over laundry all the time and you can't even talk to me right here?" his voice gradually raised as every word he spoke made him more irritated.

"Please Hyuk, can you just go?" Hakyeon begged the younger, his voice more wavering that what he would have liked.

"Fine," it was obvious the "conversation" wasn't going anywhere and Sanghyuk was more than happy to be leaving the apartment. The door slammed behind him as he left and just that quick the apartment became unusually silent.

Every little thing that Hakyeon held back exploded as he threw the piece of damp clothing he was holding against the wall. Tears were threatening to spill out of the corners of his eyes but he couldn't allow that.  _No, no tears, never_ , he thought to himself as he lifted his head, blinking away the tears before he lost control of himself.

All he wanted to do was forget that the whole discussion between him and Sanghyuk happened just now and forget everything he had to do in order to get this outcome. Even though he planned for all of this to happen, he didn't plan for himself to feel miserable in the end. However, feeling so discontented would prove any sort of affections he had for the younger and he couldn't let that happen either.  When his hands began to shake by his sides, he knew exactly what would help make him forget he needed to. The ten-milligram pill that would make everything feel better again, even if it was just for a couple of hours.

Sanghyuk mindlessly wandered down the block, not knowing where he was heading to or how far away he was from the apartment building. After taking a second to observe his surroundings, he recognized the familiar shops and knew he was close to the tattoo parlor. It hasn't been that long since he got off work so he thought that Jaehwan and Ravi should still be in the shop. That's where Sanghyuk decided he should go. There was no way he could head back home in his current condition, not when his mom would be able to easily see the distress on his face. He could try to lie his way out of the questions from his mom but he couldn't risk her not believing them.

Just like he showed up at Hakyeon's apartment unannounced, he arrived at the parlor without contacting Jaehwan or Ravi first, but they were more welcoming of his arrival. Ravi was in the middle of tattooing the design Jaehwan gave him earlier in the day on somebody's arm and Jaehwan looked up from the new sketch he was working on to welcome Sanghyuk with a smile.

"Hey, Hyuk! What's up?" Jaehwan asked cheerfully, putting his pen down for a moment. When the younger didn't reply but only threw his body on the couch in the waiting area, the assistant knew something was off. "Wait...did you talk to Hakyeon?" he wondered out loud after thinking a little further.

"Yeah, I did," Sanghyuk answered and slouched down into the couch until he was practically falling out of his seat. He wanted to be mad at Jaehwan for making him talk to the baker but he couldn't bring himself to do it, especially when it was something he had to do eventually. He avoided looking at the other man as he leaned his head back into the leather cushion.

Jaehwan could only frown at the sight but he still had to ask how it went. Sanghyuk cast him a glare that perfectly explained how the whole situation went and Jaehwan grumbled to himself as he messed up his hair out of annoyance. He didn't expect things to go well but he still had a small inkling of hope in the back of his head.

The conversation and noises caught Ravi's attention and he looked up to see his two employees in disarray. "Did I miss something?" he inquired and Jaehwan just slowly nodded his head.

A few days went by without Hakyeon showing his face at the parlor. Sometimes he didn't come in during lunch because he had to work overtime at the bakery or his employees wanted to eat together but it never happened several days in a row, especially without him texting Jaehwan. Jaehwan found it upon himself to check and see how his best friend was doing. He knew about the fight from Sanghyuk and he was worried about how Hakyeon was handling things on his side. Unlike Sanghyuk, Jaehwan called Hakyeon to let him know that he was coming over.

Jaehwan showed up at the elder's front door and knocked, letting him know that he finally made it. More time than needed to answer a door passed after Jaehwan first knocked and he still didn't hear a response from the other side. "Hyung!" he called out as he lightly banged his fist on the door again. Another minute or so passed, making Jaehwan wonder if his hyung was even at home like he said he'd be. Just when Jaehwan took out his phone to text Hakyeon, the door finally flew open.

Hakyeon stood there with heavy lids as if he just woke up from a nap, leaning his weight against the open door. "Hyung! I called you and said I'll be over soon, what took you so long?" Jaehwan whined as Hakyeon made his way over to his couch, plopping down against all the cushions.

"You're inside now so everything's alright," Hakyeon lazily reassured him.

The indifference in the elder caught Jaehwan off guard as his eyebrows rose in concern. However, he shrugged it off and closed the door once he entered the apartment since it was evident that Hakyeon wasn't going to do it. Seeing that Hakyeon's body was strewn all across the couch, Jaehwan just sat on the floor, facing the tired man. Hakyeon leisurely reached out to run his fingers through the younger man's hair but Jaehwan blocked his hand in time.

"Whatever happened to you'll try your best with Hyuk?"

"I did, and now, Hyuk and I can go our separate ways after playing for a bit without being too hurt. Everything's okay," Hakyeon spoke softly and supported his head with his arm again since Jaehwan rejected him.

"How exactly is everything okay?" Jaehwan blurted out.

"It's okay because my plan worked. Hyuk is going to be better without me anyways," the words easily spilled out of the elder's mouth.

"What? What are you saying, Hyung?" Jaehwan took another good look at the man and leaned in to see if there were any hints of alcohol but he didn't smell anything coming from the man. "Are you drunk?" Hakyeon shook his head as much as he could while lying down and hummed a no in response. Jaehwan wondered just what could be wrong with his friend then until it suddenly clicked in his head. "Did you take drugs again?! I thought I threw them away last time? Where did you get more...when?" he asked frantically and seeing Hakyeon stay so calm made him even more angered.

"The opening of my bakery was a very stressful time for me." Jaehwan could barely remember the last time Hakyeon made him feel this much disappointment. Not only that, but he just learned that his friend acquired the forsaken drugs just in the past few years. How could he not have known that whole time?

Considering what happened the first time Hakyeon ran across them, Jaehwan personally felt hurt that he would even think to take them again since he worked so hard to help the elder. Nevertheless, he didn't have time to think about his own feelings now that Hakyeon was in this condition again.

"Valiums?" Jaehwan reluctantly asked and Hakyeon only nodded. "Hyung, please tell me where they are."

"No. Don't ruin this moment for me," Hakyeon stated firmly.

"Hakyeon!" Jaehwan shouted in a high pitch shrill as a first instinct. The elder didn't even stir after hearing his name used informally. The younger man took deep breaths in order to calm himself down so he can handle the situation better. In fact, he even thought about using the situation to his advantage, Hakyeon just might be high enough to tell the truth a little more. "So...what is this plan you were talking about?"

"I couldn't let myself or Hyuk develop feelings so I did what I had to do," Hakyeon mumbled, already halfway asleep.

"But...that's like the exact reason why you usually just dump people? Why are you spending time formulating plans? And also, you don't usually resort to drugs whenever you do any of that," when there was no response from his friend, he decided to take another approach, "What's exactly wrong, Hyung? You know you can tell me."

There was still no direct response from Hakyeon as he whined, feeling annoyed by the younger man's presence and his questions, and tried to fall asleep so he wouldn't have to answer them. Jaehwan jabbed Hakyeon in the cheek with his finger, refusing to let the elder off that easy. "Maybe...possibly, did you already start developing those feelings for Hyuk?" Jaehwan spoke slowly, being very cautious in how he was approaching the topic.

"If you keep talking nonsense, I'll kick you out," Hakyeon threatened.

"Oh, yeah? Kick me out then," Jaehwan challenged him but Hakyeon closed his eyes again with another whine, shrugging off the matter.  _Of course, he'll never be high enough to admit he likes somebody_ , Jaehwan thought with a sigh. "Just go to sleep, Hyung," he stood up on his feet as he gently patted the top of the baker's head. His words came a little too late as the elder was already drifting off to sleep.

Jaehwan took it upon himself to search for the pills, wondering where somebody like Hakyeon would hide them. The elder's bedroom seemed like a good place to start and Jaehwan felt lucky that the room was kept relatively clean and organized. The one-man search party started in the shelves and drawers of Hakyeon's desk and he didn't care about inspecting things that were personal or not. There were more important matters at hand.

When the desk proved to not be hiding anything, Jaehwan moved his search to the bed and laid completely flat on his stomach to see all that was underneath the frame. Collections of books and a suitcase were shoved aside as Jaehwan's eyes scanned for anything unusual. His suspicions were correct when he found a small black box secured with a matching minuscule padlock. He didn't bother to find a key for the padlock since the whole box would be going straight into the trash.

"Worst hiding spot, Hyung," he mumbled to himself as he grabbed the box to leave the bedroom with it. Jaehwan took one last look at his best friend who was deep in his slumber and could only shake his head, feeling let down by his hyung.

The pills were long gone, thrown in a random alley dumpster somewhere. Jaehwan continued on his day with his plans to meet Sanghyuk after his classes ended. He made it to the campus after taking the bus there and waited in the same area Sanghyuk told him to stay at last time. While waiting for the class to end, Jaehwan kept himself busy with his phone even though his mind was still stuck on Hakyeon. A group of students started walking out of the building all at once and Jaehwan suspected Sanghyuk to be one of them. He looked up to see he was right and waved enthusiastically at the younger, earning a chuckle he couldn't hear from Sanghyuk.

"Hey! How were classes?" Jaehwan asked when Sanghyuk caught up to him. They started walking off towards a restaurant they frequent near the campus.

"It was alright. We're just reviewing semester work right now," Sanghyuk sighed and adjusted the backpack straps on his shoulders.

Jaehwan let out a light laugh as he gave the student a firm pat on his shoulder, "Well I know you're going to ace that final or whatever test you have coming up." Sanghyuk gave a small smile at the words and nodded his head in agreement, knowing that he was right. Jaehwan cleared his throat, wondering if he should bring up Hakyeon and decided to take it slow. "So, how have you been since you talked to Hakyeon?" he asked tentatively.

The student shrugged in response, "Well I've been trying to forget everything that happened but, you're kind of making that a little hard at the moment, Hyung."

"Oh sorry. It's just that I was over at his house earlier today."

"And?" Sanghyuk asked rhetorically, not seeing how that has anything to do with him.

"And I think he misses you," Jaehwan said, completely ignoring the tone of the student's voice.

The ridiculous idea of Hakyeon actually missing Sanghyuk made him laugh out loud. "What could have possibly made you think that?"

"You wouldn't want to know."

Sanghyuk's eyes were widened by Jaehwan's serious expression but he continued to talk, "I don't care anymore. If he misses having a sex slave so bad he could just easily find another."

Jaehwan placed his hand on Sanghyuk's shoulder, keeping him in place as they stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, "It's not about that. He actually misses  _you_." He emphasized his words by poking his finger hard into Sanghyuk's chest but it only resulted in annoying the student.

"What have you been smoking?"

"I haven't been smoking but Hakyeon probably has..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Come on, people are going to be staring at us like we're weird or something," Jaehwan said as he pulled the younger along.

"You  _are_  weird, Hyung," Sanghyuk scoffed and fortunately was let off the hook by the older man. Since they were only a block away from the restaurant when Jaehwan stopped them, they quickly arrived at the location.

They grabbed two menus from the front counter and took them to a window seat. Silence lingered between the two as Sanghyuk studied the menu to see what he would eat that day while Jaehwan's mind was occupied with thoughts of the two distressed 'lovers'. Sanghyuk was already aggravated by the topic so Jaehwan had to thoroughly figure out how he was going to approach the subject and have Sanghyuk understand.

"I know what I'm going to eat," Sanghyuk randomly spoke up.

"My hyung is in a state I haven't seen him in for a long time now, and you're the reason why," Jaehwan took the break in silence to continue the previous conversation. Caution completely thrown out the window.

"What? He's that mad cause I won't have sex with him anymore?" Sanghyuk rolled his eyes which only made Jaehwan more frustrated.

"No, that's not the reason. Okay, look, he's going to hate me for telling you this but you have to know if you're gonna keep being a brat. He's afraid of being close to people in relationships. He says he hates how being close to people hurts you in the end and that's why he does what he does. He has his fun with his so called 'boy toys' and throws them away before anybody 'can get really hurt' and...and I always try to tell him there's nothing wrong with loving somebody but-"

"Why am I suppose to care about any of this. Everything is over," Sanghyuk interrupted the elder.

"Cause after a year of knowing him and finally deciding you're actually gay, bi, whatever, you can't tell me you didn't have feelings for him. And even though he won't admit it, I know he likes you and that's why he ended up treating you that way, and I know you two can be happy together if you guys work together, I just know it!" Jaehwan ended up shouting and Sanghyuk covered his face in embarrassment and waited until eyes were off of them.

"Do you hear yourself? 'Work together'. I can try to talk to him as much as I can but nothing's going to happen if he won't listen to me. And that's  _if_  I want to talk to him in the first place, which I don't. I don't want somebody who purposely treats me like trash. Plus, I already tried, and he ignored me and that's it. If I can accept it, why can't you?" Sanghyuk questioned and Jaehwan slammed his palms flat against the table, causing the younger to gasp an 'oh my gosh.'

"Goddammit, I can't stand you Cancers! Always holding grudges, so annoying - I won't accept it because I just want you two to be happy. You're my little brother and he's my older brother and I care about you guys."

The student scrunched his nose up and commented, "So you want us to commit incest?"

Jaehwan could only scream in response, "You know what I mean, Sanghyuk! And trust me, I would not be pushing you towards him if I thought he actually didn't care about you. Please, just...try again? Sanghyuk, please," he resorted to whining as he stuck his lips out in a pout.

"I'm not Ravi, Hyung," the younger said and Jaehwan kept up his act since it wasn't the response he was looking for. "Fine fine, I'll try just one more that," Sanghyuk finally agreed just to make the elder stop.

"Yay! Thank you, Hyuk!" Jaehwan cheered as Sanghyuk raised his menu to hide behind it, not believing just how loud the elder was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, I hope you're enjoying the story so far  
> Please feel free to drop a comment or kudos anytime


	6. Crucial Words to be Spoken

The hands of the wall clock couldn't possibly move any faster according to Sanghyuk. He promised Jaehwan that after work he'll talk to Hakyeon and all he wished was that time would slow down just a little. However, time didn't seem to want to cooperate with him. His eyes stayed glued to the second and minute hands, hoping that if he stared it would help to make everything seem slower instead of busying himself and speeding it up.

"Got any plans after work today?"

Sanghyuk jumped in his seat at the sudden interruption from Ravi, taken out of his trance with the clock. He grumbled incoherently to himself now that his plan was ruined and Jaehwawn decided to speak up on his behalf.

"He's going to go talk to Hakyeon today, that's what his plans are," Jaehwan declared as he looked straight at Sanghyuk, his gaze daring Sanghyuk to say otherwise.

A deep grunt escaped Sanghyuk's mouth as he let his head fall down against the desk, "Why didn't anybody stop me from getting with that hyung." His words were barely understandable but Jaehwan and Ravi were close enough to hear them.

"Well, you're the one who didn't tell anybody when you did it," Ravi reminded him.

"Hyung, I really don't want to do this," Sanghyuk spoke as he weakly lifted his head to face his hyungs, bangs drooping over his forehead, "Especially if he wanted to treat me badly like you said."

"That's only because he doesn't know how to deal with emotions other than horniness," Jaehwan blurted out and was met with stunned expressions from the two other employees. "What it's true," he shrugged, "And don't take no for an answer because that just means he's lying."

"I really really don't want to do this," Sanghyuk repeated, deeply rubbing his palms into his cheeks.

"I honestly don't see why he should be doing this either," Ravi added on and Sanghyuk flung his arms in Ravi's direction in such a way to say even their boss finds the idea ridiculous.

"He's doing this because once they work everything out, they'll be happy and then they'll thank me," Jaehwan stated proudly as though it already happened.

"What if it doesn't work out?" Hyuk suggested to Jaehwan, trying to bring him back to reality.

The eldest turned into the most childish adult as his bottom lip began to quiver and his eyes lowered down to the ground. The sight was too much for Ravi to bear and he cooed at his assistant, feeling completely overwhelmed with the cuteness in front of him and Sanghyuk could only sigh, not believing how easily their boss falls for the same antic every time. Ravi went over to Jaehwan's side, loosely wrapping his arms around his shoulder as he told him everything was going to be fine. The eldest nodded his head but kept the same expression on his face. "So cute," Ravi mused.

"Can you guys get a room?" Sanghyuk exclaimed, causing Jaehwan to push the man away from him.

"You should get a room with Hakyeon and talk to him in it!" Jaehwan retorted, thinking his statement was clever. However, even Ravi looked disappointed with his comeback as Sanghyuk bellowed with laughter. "Whatever. I'm gonna call Hakyeon and pretend like I want to meet up at his house so he'll be there, but really you're going to show up instead, okay?" Jaehwan didn't wait for the youngest to reply and went off to the back area to make his call.

* * *

 

Once again, Sanghyuk showed up at Hakyeon's apartment and he got a sudden rush of deja vu. It seemed as if everything that happened between the two last time would only end up repeating itself. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door but didn't hear an answer from inside. He still waited before knocking again and the next thing he knew the door was thrown open without a warning.

"Jaehwan!" Hakyeon yelled, expecting the man who called him earlier but his expression softened when he saw it was the young man instead and completely forgot about Jaehwan. His mouth was left hanging agape as the younger stared back at him. Everything around them, including time finally, seemed to have stopped as they exchanged gazes. Hakyeon never expected to see Sanghyuk in front of his door again and it took everything he had to not pull the student into his arms. Gradually his senses came back to him and he was brought back to the present. "Did Jaehwan set this up?"

Hakyeon was answered with a small nod and he couldn't find it in him to close the door on Sanghyuk, especially since he didn't think Sanghyuk would ever show up at his apartment again. "Did you want to come inside?" he hesitated to ask.

"Yeah, that's why I'm here," Sanghyuk sassed and Hakyeon crinkled his nose up at the answer, but let him in anyway.

The air in the living room became thick once they were both inside. Neither of them could break the tension between them and they both waited for the other to speak up. Hakyeon knew they couldn't stand like this forever or else the whole day would pass by and so he took it upon himself to break the atmosphere first.

"Why did you come back?"

"I wanted to know why you acted the way you did," Sanghyuk didn't want to snitch on Jaehwan and claim him to be the real reason so instead he lied to the elder.

"That's just the type of person I am," Hakyeon said with a simple apathetic shrug.

"I um, I don't think that's completely true," Sanghyuk nervously rubbed his nape, remembering quotes Jaehwan spoke to him the other day.

"Oh really? I'm telling you that you were right, Hyuk. I only wanted you as my sex slave," Hakyeon claimed. Sanghyuk thought about how he's never felt more uncomfortable than being around the elder and wished once again that he wasn't here.

"So, you never once cared about me then?" Sanghyuk recalled his past question to Hakyeon.

"Correct." Sanghyuk could almost scream out loud as he became overly frustrated and cursed at Jaehwan in his head.

"Uh, you don't think maybe...you just got scared of being in a relationship?" Sanghyuk forced himself to continue interrogating the elder based off of Jaehwan's words.

The words were in fact too familiar to Hakyeon and he could swear he's only heard one person in his life question him like that. "Did Jaehwan talk to you about me?" his eyes were narrowed in on the younger as he already knew what the answer would be. It was pretty clear that there was no use lying to the man and Sanghyuk honestly answered him. Hakyeon pursed his lips together as he made a mental note to beat up Jaehwan later.

"Is that the only reason why you're here? Because of Jaehwan?" Sanghyuk truthfully responded again and Hakyeon felt stupid for even believing for a second that the younger was there on his own accord. "If that's your reason, then you can just leave now."

Sanghyuk ignored what the man was saying. Sure, he didn't want to come in the first place but now that he was here, he wasn't going to leave that easily. As he tried to avoid the baker's eyes, he noticed a couple of empty beer bottles and wondered what they were doing there.

"I didn't know you drink?"

"I don't. But since  _somebody_  stole something of mine, it's all I have left. And don't change the subject - Don't listen to Jaehwan, he doesn't even know what he's saying."

"Jaehwan, somebody who's known you for over ten years, doesn't know what he's saying when it comes to you?" Sanghyuk asked rhetorically.

"He likes to think he knows everything about me," Hakyeon argued. The elder knew how absurd he sounded, but he was too pissed at his friend at the moment to give him any sort of credit.

"I have a feeling he knows you better than you know yourself," Sanghyuk muttered to himself and began to think that maybe Jaehwan had a point.

"Look, there's no reason for you to still be here," Hakyeon remarked as he made his way back over to the front door and held a firm grip on the knob.

"No, you're not going to kick me out again," Sanghyuk stood his ground, firmly planting his feet in his current stance to emphasize that he wasn't going to move.

"What? What do you want to hear, Hyuk?" Hakyeon asked, starting to get thoroughly annoyed.

"I want to hear the truth. The truth about why those things happened, why you wouldn't or won't talk to me, why you won't let me talk," Sanghyuk's voice betrayed him, faltering a bit as he worked himself up again.

"Hyuk, I already told you-"

"Hyung!"

Hakyeon took a deep breath, realizing that the young wasn't going anywhere until he talked. Not until he told the whole truth. But it almost didn't feel possible. "Hyuk...I...I don't know," Hakyeon stuttered, not knowing where to start or what to say.

"Hyung..." the student echoed and Hakyeon left his place by the door.

Luckily the beer he had not that long ago was starting to affect him, making things seem slightly more possible for the elder. He emptied what was left in his last bottle before spewing out what he could. "Fine, if you really want to know the truth - the truth is I don't deal with relationships, Hyuk. That's why I specifically used the words 'boy toy' when I had that talk with you. Relationships mean they end and you lose somebody and get hurt. Having a 'toy' means you can play with each other then end things without feeling hurt and go your separate ways. You're somebody...I...I," Hakyeon paused before he can say too much then reformed his sentence, "I couldn't let us get serious, but I also couldn't bring myself to end it," he finally manages to say.

"I don't think I understand," the student slowly shook his head, trying to decode what Hakyeon was saying.

"Dammit, Hyuk, don't make me do this," he said as he sunk into the couch to avoid looking at the younger.

"I think you need to do this, Hyung," Sanghyuk spoke softly before joining him and Hakyeon turns his head the other way, barely seeing the student in his peripheral vision. There was a heavy silence between them again but the air was calm. Sanghyuk didn't push the other to speak any further and let him take his time. He could physically see the stress in the elder as he kept his hands clenched, different from the lack of emotions that was shown during laundry day.

"How long have we known each other? Over a year now?" the elder's voice was drained and all the energy in him to deny and lie left with his voice. "I didn't think it was possible for me to feel this way about you but, Sanghyuk, I can't lose you. But I don't know how to be in a relationship nor do I want to be in one for the reason that I don't want to lose you. And just to answer your question, yes, yes I do care about you. There, now that's the truth," he finally said. To others, it would have felt like a relief, to tell the truth after so long. But not to Hakyeon. He felt vulnerable with his heart on his sleeve and he didn't know if Sanghyuk would accept his pathetic excuse after waiting for so long.

Things became quiet again as they both sat on the couch. Sanghyuk's back hit the cushion and he couldn't believe what he just heard. Even though Jaehwan kept telling him over and over again about the elder, he didn't actually presume it to be true. He couldn't have himself expecting it only to be let down again. And now he was left in shock as the words  _I do care about you_  repeated in his head multiple times. But, he couldn't necessarily show that to Hakyeon.

"Now was that so hard to say?" Sanghyuk joked, speaking up after a couple of minutes, and earned a smack on his thigh by Hakyeon before acting sincere again, "So what are we suppose to do now?"

"I don't know, I've never...done any of this before," Hakyeon murmured.

"You never owned a bakery before either when you started that up, but I'm guessing you learned how to make do," Sanghyuk declared, trying to make a point.

"You know, I don't think I like you that much anymore," The elder quipped, finally bringing himself to face the younger who could have sworn he saw a bit of a smile cracking on his face.

"Are you sure about that? You have a habit of saying the opposite of what you mean," he said and another smack was given to his thigh.

"Hyuk, I'm serious. I can't do this," Hakyeon professed, going back to their original conversation no matter how fun the small banter was.

"You can't or you're just too afraid?" With that, Hakyeon let out a sigh as he found himself falling against the younger's shoulders, startling him just a little bit, and closed his eyes for a moment as he took in the familiar scent. "Hey, I never said that I like you back," Sanghyuk teased and Hakyeon gave him a cold glare.

"I will kill you," he threatened only to be held by the younger. Sanghyuk's large hands securely kept the smaller frame of the older man pressed against him. Hakyeon's arms naturally found their way around the younger man and gripped tightly onto the pullover he was wearing.

"Please, can we just try and see what it's like?" Sanghyuk pleaded.

"Hyuk, what did I say?"

"If you really don't want to be in a relationship then let go of me right now," Sanghyuk said as he dropped his arms to his sides.

Instead of letting the younger go, Hakyeon sighed before speaking, "There's...only one way I know how to be in any type of relationship," he warned.

"Oh my gosh Hyung, just tell me," Sanghyuk urged, tired of everybody, especially Hakyeon, beating around the bush.

When Hakyeon felt like he inhaled enough of Sanghyuk's scent, he pulled himself away to look the student directly in his eyes. "Sanghyuk, no matter what happened, I just want to repeat how much I do care for you. I was just...I didn't know what to do," he confessed once more and let go of the young man to hold his hand, giving it a small squeeze, "But, if we can start over, I want to tell you about a lifestyle that's become important to me. It's how I feel the most comfortable being intimate with someone. I know I didn't make a good example before, but I would like to start earning your trust."

The student glanced down at their hands before looking back at N with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean, Hyung?" he spoke in an unintentional whisper.

"Hyuk, if we could, I would like to try something called power play with you. I know what that sounds like and it may seem like a lot and I just want you to know so you can think about it and tell me how you feel later, okay?" Hakyeon concluded as he covered the hand that he was holding with another.

Sanghyuk sat there in a daze, his head nodding on its own, and tried to process what it was that the elder just said. It all seemed so random that Sanghyuk had to repeat the sentence in his head a few times to make sure that he heard correctly. Even then, that didn't help Sanghyuk know how to respond, let alone know where to begin thinking about what was said.

The silence from before was repeated, except it was for the younger this time and Hakyeon was the one who was waiting. He didn't know how long he would have to wait, or what the outcome of that patience would be, but he couldn't keep another thing hidden from Sanghyuk. All he could hope for at the moment was his understanding, no matter if that understanding came with rejection or acceptance.

"Power play?" was all Sanghyuk managed to blurt out even after all that time. "You mean like...that BDSM stuff, submissives and dominants and all that?"

Hakyeon nodded his head as an answer and squeezed Sanghyuk's hand, "Is there anything you want to ask right now?" With the hand he had to himself, Sanghyuk scratched the back of his head, not even knowing what he should be asking. "Don't be afraid to ask anything, and we don't even have to keep talking right now. Take all the time you need to think about it," Hakyeon interrupted the little thoughts the student managed to form in his head.

However, unlike when he first arrived at the apartment, Sanghyuk wanted to continue and shook his head. "No, I want to talk you now," except, he didn't know exactly what he wanted to talk about, but he couldn't leave the conversation now that Hakyeon was talking with ease. "So...why do you want to do...that, the um BDSM thing?" he stammered over his words, saying them as they came to his head.

Hakyeon chuckled softly at his nervousness and released his hands to wrap his arms around the younger this time, "Well, honestly, I was originally interested in the beginning because I heard that it was possible to have temporary relationships that weren't just about love. Yet, at the same time you can strengthen aspects like communication and trust, and I've been using it to test my comfort zones."

So far the younger wasn't showing any signs of distaste or uneasiness, or any emotion at all so Hakyeon continued talking, "I should probably say I haven't practiced it for very long though, just for a few years with some online partners and one guy I actually met in person. But, I want to try this with you and learn how to treat you like you want to be treated."

"But what about the other stuff, like the um pain and everything that usually comes with it?" Sanghyuk asked then let his eyes wander to the back of the hallway where the man's bedroom was, "You don't have like a torture red room in there do you?"

The silly and naive question made Hakyeon roll his eyes but ended up laughing in the end. "Do I look like a creepy millionaire...or a murderer for that matter - do you know what a red room is? Anyway, I do have what's called a toy bag," Hakyeon watched as the younger's eyebrows knitted together at the mention of his toy bag, "When you think about it some more and if you're still curious, I'll show it to you later."

"What if I want to see it now?" Sanghyuk asked out of curiosity to see what the elder would say.

"You're not going to see it now," Hakyeon asserted and Sanghyuk's brows raised at the blunt statement. "Um, anyways, what you said about the pain, if you don't like it or don't trust the person - or even if the dominant doesn't know what they're doing, it will be painful. But, depending on what the person enjoys, it can be an intimate...sensation. It may not seem like it now, but that's why I prefer dominating and giving pleasure to my partner," Hakyeon added on to finished answering Sanghyuk's questions.

"Wait, you like dominating? You mean like you would be ordering me around and - is that why you always calling me 'good boy' amongst other things?" Sanghyuk questioned in a soft voice, suspiciously squinting his eyes at the man.

"Well that was because I couldn't help it around you but yes it is. And I wouldn't want to order you around twenty-four seven, just within plays. Some people do act like that all the time with their partners but that's not me," Hakyeon corrected him.

Sanghyuk took a moment to organize his thoughts instead of exclaiming everything that's on the tip of his tongue. There was one question in particular he was itching to ask and decided to mention it already before he dived deeper into questions about Hakyeon's activities. "So...is this BDSM thing the only thing that makes you converse so easily? You said that it helps you with your communication...If I end up saying I don't want to do it, will we not talk like this?"

This was the one question that caught Hakyeon off guard. He knew that there would be a huge chance of Sanghyuk saying he doesn't want to do it, but he tried to refrain from ultimatums to not put a burden the younger man. Little did he know, the ultimatum was implied and the student was smart enough to figure it out. Even he didn't know if he could easily talk to Sanghyuk without the lifestyle. If he did say he couldn't communicate without it, he might put pressure on Sanghyuk to do something he doesn't fully want to do or he could end up losing the younger. Both possibilities were what he's been trying so hard to avoid that they've been brought to this very moment.

"Is this something you have to do in a relationship?" Sanghyuk said to make his question clearer and broke Hakyeon's thoughts.

"To be intimate, yes," the answer came easily to Hakyeon and slipped away from Sanghyuk, letting go of him to sit up straight and give him some space.

"Hyung I don't...I don't know if I'll be able to handle that," Sanghyuk stuttered as he pulled his knees up in front of his chest. Hakyeon snickered to himself at how similar they sounded sometimes.

"You don't have to know right now, Hyuk," Hakyeon responded and rested his hand on Sanghyuk's knee, giving it a small squeeze. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to cook dinner. You're welcomed to stay if you want to," he informed the younger before leaving him on the couch to head into the kitchen.

It was weird to Sanghyuk, thinking about how he didn't want to come over to this apartment in the first place, but now he was okay with staying for dinner, despite the uneasiness that still remained between them. However, even though Sanghyuk couldn't admit it out loud, he knew how much of a sucker he was for Hakyeon's attention and couldn't refuse it.


	7. Delving Deeper into Him

The day after the originally dreaded conversation, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk went to a nearby fast food restaurant since Ravi was working through the lunch break and Hakyeon texted Jaehwan earlier saying that he was too busy at the bakery. Neither of them let on that they had suspicions that the eldest just didn't want to show his face yet. They were well into their meal, or at least Jaehwan was. Jaehwan was content in eating his burger while Sanghyuk slowly picked through his fries that were getting colder by the second. When Jaehwan finally looked up from his food that was halfway gone, he realized Sanghyuk barely made a dent in his.

"What's up with you and Hakyeon now?" Jaehwan asked, already sounding slightly annoyed. Hyuk shrugged as he ate his way through another fry. "You guys were supposed to be happy, what happened?" Jaehwan whined, he lips pulling into a frown and Sanghyuk couldn't let himself go through another round of his hyung causing a commotion in a restaurant again.

"Hyung, calm down, please," Sanghyuk said, hoping Jaehwan wouldn't get himself too worked up again. He hesitated to bring up the topic him and Hakyeon discussed the other day but he wondered if Jaehwan knew anything about Hakyeon being into that stuff. "You wouldn't happen to know  _everything_  about Hakyeon would you?" Sanghyuk pried cautiously.

"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure I do. At this point I don't see what big thing he would try to hide from me - other than him falling for you but he still couldn't hide that," Jaehwan stated confidently.

"I don't necessarily think he 'fell' for me but whatever," Sanghyuk mumbled as he stabbed his fry in a pile of ketchup.

"Why do you want to know, anyways? You think I'm going to tell you other secrets that easily? I only told you about that one cause it was also for your sake. I'm not gonna spill everything about him," Jaehwan spoke with a stern voice, showing that he was serious about keeping his friend's privacy.

"No, there's just something specific he told me that I wanted to see if you knew," Sanghyuk hinted, trying to see how much he could pull out of Jaehwan without it specifically mentioning it.

"Something he told you?" Jaehwan echoed and wondered what Hakyeon could have possibly told him that made him act apprehensive about whatever it was.

"It has something to do with um.. whips and chains," Sanghyuk whispered, leaning in close enough to the man so he could still hear, "Do you know anything about that?" Jaehwan gasped, a little too loud and over-exaggeratedly if Sanghyuk had a say, but he couldn't believe that Hakyeon would tell the young student such a thing. "I'm going to take that as a yes. He wants me to do it with him, he says it can help build trust and communication but...Hyung, I... I don't want to go through all of that just to be able to talk to him. I don't know if it's worth it. All the pain and everything that comes with it," Sanghyuk slumped back in his chair as he took a sip of his soda.

"Have you looked into it a bit more?" Jaehwan asked before taking another bite out of his burger as if he didn't almost have a heart attack a second ago.

"No...where would I even start? I thought he already told me a lot about it," Sanghyuk answered and Jaehwan could only shake his head at the answer.

"I'm pretty sure he didn't. You have to do the research yourself, learn about it and see if you can do it and if it turns you on. You're lucky by the way that Hakyeon isn't that harsh or strict of a dominant," Jaehwan claimed nonchalantly before also taking a sip of his soda.

"He isn't? Wait..what...how do you know that?" the younger man questioned suspiciously with raised eyebrows.

Jaehwan realized his slip up and cleared his throat before speaking up again, "Oh just, he practiced on me in the beginning and stuff, you know, no big deal or anything," he muttered quickly, trying to hide his words and continued drinking his soda while looking out the windows.

"Are all of you guys freaky? Is there something about Ravi I don't know too?" This made Jaehwan laugh even though Sanghyuk was partially serious about it. "Well, did you like it?" the younger thought he might as well ask somebody with experience.

"I liked the toys, they're fun," Jaehwan said with a smile as he recalled the memories in his mind then continued talking, "But I didn't like submitting; I can't just do whatever somebody tells me to do. Now that I think about it, somebody like you should try submitting and obeying every now and then, it'll be good for your smart mouth," Jaehwan blocked the fry that was thrown at him, "That's the shit I'm talking about!"

Sanghyuk laughed then ate another fry instead of wasting them, "Of course you would like the toys, kinky son of a gun." He finally took a bite of his burger and twisted his face in slight disgust since it was already starting to get cold.

"What, they were fun! And not all of them cause pain. The point is that they make you feel different things that cause like this...these feelings that give you a rush. It's all an adrenaline rush that heightens everything you're feeling. And when you put trust in a person to control and do those things to you, it adds to the experience," Jaehwan lectured, waving the fry in his hand in Sanghyuk's direction as he spoke, "Just...just research it when you get home, you'll find out everything. Start with what exactly it is, research limits, kinks, what submitting entails and whatnot. You'll see if you want to try it or not if anything turns you on or intrigues you."

"What if it's not for me? Do I just have to leave him like nothing happened?"

Jaehwan put his food down and dusted his hands off on his pants, "I don't think I can answer that for you, Hyuk. Just research first before thinking about that, you don't want to pressure yourself." There was no point in trying to continue the conversation Sanghyuk believed and sighed as he tried to at least finish the food he paid for.

* * *

 

Too afraid of getting caught by his parents at home, Sanghyuk decided to go research on the campus's library. After all, he would rather be judged by strangers than his own family. He occupied one of the study cubicles in the back of the library so nobody could easily see what he was doing. His main goal was to not look suspicious and he continuously scoped the area to make sure no one was looking at him like such, but in reality, his expressions were more sketchy than not. A student from across the way spotted Sanghyuk's odd looks and gave him a cold stare. When Sanghyuk realized he was being stared at he quickly ducked his head behind the laptop until the person returned to their work.

Using the hidden mode on his internet browser, the first phrase he used to research was, 'What is BDSM', since that seemed like a good starting place. The search engine pulled up thousands of articles in a matter of seconds and Sanghyuk felt overwhelmed, not knowing which one to read first. A part of him wanted to text Hakyeon and ask him specifically what he should research because he was so confused but he was determined to do it on his own. He decided to just click on the first article that came from a basic encyclopedia based website to gather the gist of the definition of BDSM. He was pretty sure he knew what it meant but it didn't hurt to double check. The site explained to him that it was about certain sexual expressions that are under the term "power play" which contains the dominant and submissive play that Hakyeon was talking to him about the other day. Sanghyuk quickly knew that there was more to BDSM than what he imagined and got ready to as much research as he could, cracking his knuckles to loosen up his fingers for typing.

Soon, all the terminology and definitions from his research began filling his head and he needed to give himself a quick break. "Why is there so much," he whined to himself as he tussled his hair up frustration and fell back into his chair, letting his body sink down.

Sanghyuk didn't want to look up BDSM sites all day so he returned back to the bright computer screen to see what else there is to learn. The acronyms SSC and RACK came into play, teaching him about consent, risk-awareness, safety within the scenes. All the warnings and reminders to be safe made Sanghyuk worry. He was already fearful of BDSM because of the pain and sadism, the last thing he wanted to know was that there was a risk of real danger because of some activities.

To help his fears, he decided to look deeper into the terms 'dominant' and 'submissive'. What he came across was a couple of articles stating that dominants assume all responsibility and look after and care for their submissives. He also found comments that showed people who found bliss in giving somebody they trust control over their life and don't have to worry about things - they only focused on the pleasure that came with following orders and receiving attention.

Attention. Sanghyuk remembered that in the beginning of all of this, he finally gave in to Hakyeon because he learned that he desired attention. He thought he was already given a lot of attention but wondered if maybe there could be more. The sounds of book pages shuffling near him made him quickly switch to a different tab that was safe for work and he looked around the area to see that somebody moved in the cubicle in front of him. When they made eye contact, he dipped his head in a small bow before going back to his research.

After looking into the matter a bit more, his mind wandered off into a fantasy he didn't ever think he would picture. A fantasy where Hakyeon was giving him all the affection he craved and would praise him whenever he did something right. Just thinking about Hakyeon only focusing on him, making him squirm with pleasure, sent a wave of goosebumps along his back. The images were gradually bringing the blood in his body down to his limp cock. In the back of his mind, he felt ashamed that he was being turned on so easily in public but his mind was clouded with thoughts of relieving himself.  _You'll see if you want to try it or not if anything turns you on_ , Jaehwan's voice echoed in his head and he quickly pulled his hand back up to the keyboard as he was brought back to his senses.

However, even if Sanghyuk was turned on by the thought of it all, there was still the toys and S&M that kept him from wanting to indulge in the activities. Ignoring his now half-erect cock, Sanghyuk continued his research and soon learned that even enjoying things such as sexual spanking and love bites, things that Hakyeon did often, is a form of masochism. He grazed his hand against his chest, remembering how much Hakyeon liked to scratch the skin and leave red marks, then wrapped his arms around his torso, trying to comfort himself as he realized how much of what he was reading was already implemented in sex life. Once again, he was getting strange looks from the person sitting in front of him and he slowly lowered his arms as if he wasn't doing anything abnormal.

From the links in the masochism articles, he was led to more information on the terms hard limits and soft limits. He studied the definitions and what they meant and wondered to himself what he could possibly be his limits even if he's never tried anything before. The first thing he thought to research to learn about his limits are the different sex toys used. Familiar items such as whips, handcuffs, and paddles were in the list he saw but his eyes gradually widen as names of things he's never heard of appeared on the screen and he was slightly too scared to click and see what they were.

Instead, he moved away from that page and decided to look more into the 'communication and trust' that Hakyeon was talking about to get away from studying definitions. After reading a couple of articles about what communication means in a dominant and submissive relationship, he couldn't help but feel bitter and wish that he could have what the articles were discussing with Hakyeon while also being 'vanilla'. But at the same, he could understand how it must help Hakyeon.

Then suddenly, the notion popped into his head that he doesn't have to be with Hakyeon. Just a few days ago, their relationship even seemed like it was over.  But in truth, Sanghyuk never wanted the relationship to end, he just wanted to be treated better. Despite what he told Jaehwan, he was nowhere near over Hakyeon and if he felt that he was willing to touch himself in public, he could try out the scenes with the baker to help their relationship. He took out his phone, glad he didn't delete Hakyeon's number through their break and began to text him.

Sanghyuk sent a message to grab Hakyeon's attention and waited for him to hopefully text back. He didn't let his hopes get too high however since the elder always failed to response to his texts. A minute later, his phone notification light began to blink and he turned on the screen to see a, "Yes?" sent from Hakyeon. He stared at the phone in disbelief and almost forgot to text back. The words, "I think I want to try it," were typed out and he hesitated to press send until he finally did it. His heart rate picked up as he waited for the next reply. It took a bit longer for the next message from Hakyeon but it came nonetheless.

 

_chakchak: [17:46] Are you sure?_

 

_iamhyuk: [17:46] yea i did some research....i want to try it_

 

_chakchak: [17:46] Are you free today?_

 

_iamhyuk: [17:46] yup, just at the library_

 

_chakchak: [17:46] Come over later and we'll talk about it_

 

_iamhyuk: [17:47] okay_

 

"I just did that," Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, wondering how many times he was going to have 'talks' with the elder as he sunk down into his chair with his hands above him and didn't care if he slouched far enough that he might fall onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys don't mind a shorter chapter  
> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos really mean a lot~


	8. Beginning of Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this super late post. There were a couple of outings I didn't plan ahead for and I also felt very sick for a few days which the outings didn't help with  
> I hope this chapter will be able to suffice for the long wait though  
> If you guys want to keep up with updates there's a pinned thread on my twitter @gramzzi

Time seemed to go ever so slowly as Hakyeon managed the payroll for his employees. As much as Hakyeon loved running his bakery, he couldn't stand the math that came with it but luckily it wasn't enough to push Hakyeon away from the business. The task became so tedious that Hakyeon found his mind wandering off to thoughts about Sanghyuk. He never had to introduce kink to any of his partners before as he found the few submissives he had in the past within the community. The stories about people who's partners rejected the lifestyle or were scared away distressed Hakyeon and he became afraid of scaring Sanghyuk off. While he didn't regret telling Hyuk what he does, he was still worried about the consequences that came with informing him - there was no ignoring them. The sudden buzzing from his phone snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked down to see a text from Sanghyuk.

"Speak of the devil," Hakyeon mumbled to himself as he picked up the phone to unlock the message. His heart nearly stopped upon seeing Sanghyuk's text. The younger said that he was willing to try with him and Hakyeon felt that he had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Hakyeon replied to the text and told Sanghyuk to meet him later at his house so they could talk.

When the conversation ended, Hakyeon felt motivated more than ever to finish his payroll and end the day at the bakery. Work went on as usual, except this time, Hakyeon had something to look forward to at the end of the day. His hands trembled with anticipation as he carried trays and pans to and from the ovens and was fortunate enough that none of them ended up on the floor. Snickers came from his staff as they finally got to see their boss lose his poise that he normally upheld so well and actually act human for once. If Hakyeon was paying attention to them, he would have sassed them but just like before, but his mind was filled with Sanghyuk.

Now that he knew that Sanghyuk was willing to try, Hakyeon had to plan how he was going to ease the vanilla younger into the lifestyle. He thought back to when he was first introduced to kink about three years ago. Everything that helped him ease into BDSM would have to be repeated to make it easy for Sanghyuk as well and luckily the younger researched on his own so the process would be even less jarring for him.

Unlike other days, Hakyeon's staff didn't have to stop him from working late into the night. Before the other bakers had a chance to clean up their areas in the kitchen, Hakyeon already had his apron hung up and was on his way out the door. His byes were quick and barely heard but he didn't care, he'll be seeing them again tomorrow anyways. He drove home and had to repeatedly remind himself to respect the speed limit. Once he made it inside his apartment, he moved with haste in order to prepare himself for when Sanghyuk would show up.

After a quick shower, he searched his bedroom for his voice recorder that he normally used so that the two could make a simple oral contract. In addition to preparing the voice recorder, Hakyeon printed out a kink checklist that he kept saved on his computer. He didn't know how useful the list would be since Sanghyuk might not say yes to even a handful of the items on the list. He took the four pieces of paper in his hands before backing up to sit down on the edge of his bed.

The outcome of rushing throughout his day finally caught up with him and he needed to relax and have everything catch up to him for a moment. During that moment, he let himself think about Sanghyuk again, about how lucky he was that the student was even able to forgive him and trust him this much after everything he put him through. He had to make sure that from now on, he would show the younger just how much he adores him. He took held a deep breath, puffing out his already round cheeks, before releasing it and stood up again to head into his living room and place the materials on the coffee table. Just as he was about to get a cup of water to drink and help calm his nerves, there was knocking coming from his front door.

Hakyeon opened the door to reveal Sanghyuk with his backpack hanging off one of his shoulders. "Come in, Hyuk," Hakyeon said, sounding as if he hasn't been nervous about this very moment all day, "You can just leave your book bag by your shoes."

Sanghyuk nodded with pursed like he wasn't nervous either and did what was suggested. Hakyeon took a hold of Sanghyuk's larger hand, leading him over to the couch so they both can take a seat. He released the younger's hand to adoringly pet his hair, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "I'm glad you want to give this a try."

"Yea, I just, I looked into it and it seems...interesting?" Sanghyuk shrugged and Hakyeon emitted out a small laugh as he sat back against the couch.

"So, we obviously can't dive into the deep end - everything is a gradual process. Did you learn that in the research you said you did?" Hakyeon asked as Sanghyuk shifted in his seat to keep eye contact.

"I saw something about that I think. Are we going to start off with the contracts and stuff, 'cause I don't really know what my limits are," Sanghyuk's voice trailed off during his warning and Hakyeon gave his knee a squeeze before sitting up again to grab the checklist papers.

"No, that's not what we're starting off with. I didn't expect you to know, but that's what this list is for. We're going to go through it and see what you're willing to try and what you're not interested in at all, okay? From there we'll see what your limits may be and what you'll like," the student nodded as he listened and took the papers that were handed to him.

"Huh," Sanghyuk's eyes widened, seeing how long the checklist was, "There's so much stuff."

"There's a lot of stuff different people are into," Hakyeon commented, handing the younger a pen from the coffee table.

"I feel like I'm taking a test after studying," Sanghyuk mumbled to himself then pointed to the first option on the list: anal sex. "This is considered a kink?" he blurted out.

"Yes, it is. Speaking of which, I'm fucking you from now on," Hakyeon nonchalantly uttered while Sanghyuk sat there with his mouth agape.

"Wait what," Sanghyuk stammered. In all honesty, Sanghyuk surprisingly didn't mind the idea of it. The rare vulgarity coming from Hakyeon mixed with his placid demeanor just caught him off guard.

"If you're not comfortable with that we could-"

"No, that's alright I just... It's fine, fuck me all you want."

Now, it was Hakyeon's turn to be surprised as he burst out in laughter and rested his hand on Sanghyuk's nape of his neck, giving him gentle pets against the small hairs.

Sanghyuk continued to go down the list, checking off yes's, maybe's and frowning at his no's which made shivers go down his back at the thought of them. Whenever there was a kink he didn't know, Hakyeon became his human dictionary and explained what the confusing kink entailed. Sometimes Sanghyuk would hesitate to check a maybe and others he didn't need a second thought to mark off no.

Hakyeon himself found watching the younger man determine what his kinks are to be quite amusing. The sight reminded him of when he had to do the same thing for the first time a few years ago. As he watched the student finish page after page, he thought to himself that Sanghyuk may not be as vanilla as he seemed. Once Sanghyuk finished filling out the last page, he handed the small stack back to Hakyeon who replied with a, "Thank you, sweetie." Hakyeon noticed Sanghyuk didn't write what their aftercare should be, but he didn't press on it since that will be something they'll figure out together.

"Hmm, we actually have similar interests," Hakyeon noted as his lips rose into a smirk, making Sanghyuk's face feel hot with embarrassment. "About the safe words, do you know of yellow and red?" Hakyeon asked and Sanghyuk nodded his head in response, "Are you comfortable with those or would you like to use different ones?"

"Those are fine," Sanghyuk replied, still feeling slightly unsure about the concept of might having to use those words one day due to pain. He knew that the more trust he would develop in Hakyeon, the more at ease he would feel but it was just the beginning and he didn't know what to expect despite his research.

With the pen he gave Sanghyuk earlier, Hakyeon wrote the safe words at the bottom of the last page. When he looked up from the paper, he saw the younger was zoned out and reached over to touch his shoulder, bringing him out of his daze. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Sanghyuk?" Hakyeon softly spoke as he gently rubbed the student's shoulder to help alleviate the tension in his muscles.

Sanghyuk nodded languidly and spoke in an equally soft voice, "Yea, I'm sure...I'm just nervous. I've never done this before."

"Come here," Hakyeon gave his thigh a few pats as he leaned back against the couch before reaching out to help Sanghyuk lay his head on his lap.

As Hakyeon leisurely threaded his fingers through the strands of the younger's hair, Sanghyuk let out a sigh of content. All he wanted was to stay like that; like time didn't matter and they could be together without any worries. But unfortunately, that wasn't the reality. He was worried about their relationship: if he'll be able to do the things Hakyeon would want him to do, if the pain could indeed turn into pleasure. The articles he read stated and described everything in a simple enough manner, but actually preparing to do the things in person was different and difficult, to say the least. Even if he wanted to do it, he didn't know if he could.

Even without Sanghyuk telling him so, Hakyeon could sense how anxious the young man in his lap was through his rigid breathing. After all, he's been there before. He stared at him with a small smile lighting up his face, admiring the student who was finally composed.Maybe Sanghyuk really could be a good submissive, Hakyeon thought.

"You're such a good boy," Hakyeon whispered to him and Sanghyuk turned over on his back to face the elder, surprised by the seemingly random praise, "You are, and you will be," Hakyeon continued and assured him. "We just have a few more things to discuss for now," he reached over the younger to grab that voice recorder on the table.

"Okay," Sanghyuk responded. Hakyeon rubbed the side of the younger man's hip as another calming gesture before turning the recorder on.

Later that night, it became evident to Sanghyuk just how much his life has changed in the past month. It was only a year ago that he would scoff at Hakyeon's seduction attempts in the tattoo parlor. He didn't even believe he was sexually attracted to the same sex in those days. Now, here he was - stripped completed naked on the man's bed while he was still fully dressed. The leather wrist cuffs made his skin begin to sweat as Hakyeon sat in between his legs, keeping them wide open and fully exposed to him. If he was told just last week that he would be in this position, he wouldn't have believed it, let alone the fact that he couldn't believe he didn't mind the bondage.

 Hakyeon's fingertips gently brushed across the soft and smooth skin of Sanghyuk's inner thigh. He gazed down the length of the younger's body, taking his time to admire the milky white and toned muscles. Sheen formed by Hakyeon's mouth earlier clung to Sanghyuk's skin, making it glisten under the light. He saw Sanghyuk's chest faltering along with his breathing as his eyes wandered off somewhere else, avoiding eye contact.

With a firm grip, Hakyeon held Sanghyuk's chin in between his fingers and turned his head so their eyes connected. Even though it was their first time like this, he wanted the younger to push through whatever embarrassment he was feeling. "Don't look away, okay?" Hakyeon asked of him and Sanghyuk could only meekly nod his head in response.

Hakyeon took the bottle of lubricant he set aside and coated two of his fingers diligently before the bottle was placed back on the bed to be used later. His hand smoothed over Sanghyuk's chest, spreading some warmed lube against him. "Stay relaxed," he whispered as they continued exchanging gazes. He pressed his wet finger against the younger man's virgin hole, circling the puckered ring of muscles. Sanghyuk failed at trying to keep himself calm as his hips jerked up slightly from the new touch. "Baby boy, I need you to stay relaxed," Hakyeon stated again.

"Yes...okay," Sanghyuk breathed out as he mentally prepared himself for what's to come. After making a simple oral contract together, he and Hakyeon planned out how their "first time" in the bedroom would go. He knew what was going to happen and what would be painful but just like before, knowing something and actively doing it were two different things.

Sanghyuk took deep breaths in order to keep his body relaxed as Hakyeon finally pushed his finger past the tight hole. Groans escaped his lips at the uncomfortable feeling as the muscles in his body tried to resist Hakyeon's finger. The hand that was now rubbing his stomach took some of his attention away from the new pain but it was still at the forefront in his mind.

"How are you doing, baby boy?" Hakyeon asked considerately as he slowly made his way to the second knuckle. He could feel the younger man's warm walls clamp down around him, trying to push out his finger.

"I'm...fine," Sanghyuk responded while holding his breath, making his words come out more strained than he intended.

Hakyeon rose his hand from Sanghyuk's stomach up to his chest, continuing to rub his torso in order to help keep his composure. "Breathe," was all Hakyeon said, but it was enough to make Sanghyuk release the breath he was holding.

Finally, after waiting for the younger man to adjust, Hakyeon was able to push the rest of his finger through Sanghyuk's hole and watched his face scrunch up but he didn't disobey and didn't look away. "Good boy," Hakyeon cooed, leaning down to press a kiss to Sanghyuk's stomach as he ignored the heavy cock that rested against the younger's pelvis. His lips traveled up to Sanghyuk's navel, swirling the tip of his tongue around the younger's belly button while rubbing the inside of his walls with his fingertip.

A mix of soft gasps and groans came from Sanghyuk as he tried hard to keep his hips still against the bed. Even though his ass still felt uncomfortable, the distraction on his navel was enough to make him start feeling some sort of pleasure. That was until Hakyeon started pushing his second finger past Sanghyuk's entrance.

"Fuck, ah!" Sanghyuk shouted out at the stretch and instinctively bucked his hips up. Hakyeon immediately responded by pressing his hips back against the bed and covered his chest in kisses before staring down at him to lock their gazes again.

"I know, baby boy, but it'll get better after all this. Trust me?" Hakyeon's assured tone of voice wavered slightly as his last words unintentionally came out like a question. Even though the scenes were supposed to help the trust in their relationship, Hakyeon didn't mean to straightforwardly ask for the younger's trust. Yet, almost without hesitation, Sanghyuk nodded slowly with tears in the corners of his eyes welling up.

After leaning over once more, he engaged in a deep kiss with the younger as he slowly pushed his finger in further and further. Sanghyuk's fists balled up as he pulled on the cuffs and Hakyeon had to hold them still with his free hand. Hakyeon continued whispering soft murmurs of, "Good boy," and, "Relax," against the younger man's lip to help ease all the tension in his muscles. It took everything Sanghyuk had for him to not writhe around under the restraints and Hakyeon's grip once the two digits were fully inside him, especially as his knees gradually became tired of being in the same bent position.

"Is everything okay?" Hakyeon spoke up, knowing the toll staying in one position over a long period of time can have.

"Yes..." Sanghyuk answered though the tips of his fingers were becoming numb, but he didn't worry about it enough to say something. Hakyeon left it alone then, believing if Sanghyuk was truly uncomfortable he would say so, and pressed his fingertips up against the little bundle of nerves after slowly thrusting them into him.

Words couldn't find their way to escape Sanghyuk's lips as his back arched off the mattress and the wave of pleasure washed over his body. When Hakyeon said it'll get better, he didn't think it'll be so soon. Hakyeon leaned back into his sitting position, letting go of the cuffs. He looked up at Hakyeon to see a slight smirk on the man's face and his ears instantly turned red.

"Do you want me to do it again?" Hakyeon question, wanting to hear Sanghyuk say the answer with his own mouth. He kept up with the slow thrusts of his fingers to let Sanghyuk get used to that feeling.

"I...I," Sanghyuk uttered but couldn't bring himself to say anything else. Hakyeon peered down at him with a cocked brow, patiently waiting for the answer as if he had all night. "Yes...please," he replied shamelessly and felt like he had nothing else to be embarrassed about at the moment. Once again, Hakyeon's fingertips brushed up against the sensitive spot and he watched the younger man's body react in front of him.

Precum left the tip of Sanghyuk's cock and dripped onto his abs. After a few more steady thrusts, Hakyeon pulled his fingers out and reached over to grab his ribbed glass plug from the top of his nightstand that was perfect for beginners. The glass plug was already warmed in a bowl of hot water to make the preparation feel better for the student. After coating the plug with a generous amount of lube, he cautiously pushed the first bulb past Sanghyuk's slightly loosened entrance. The warm sensation heating him up from the inside out as he filled the room with the sounds of deep moans.

"How does that feel?" Hakyeon inquired while barely being able to wrap his fingers around Sanghyuk's thick thigh to give it a squeeze.

"F-Fine, good," Sanghyuk admitted though it was only the first bulb.

"Naughty boy," Hakyeon clicked his tongue in amusement and Sanghyuk would hide his face in his hands if he could. The tips of Sanghyuk's ear became tinted with red again and Hakyeon could only chuckle. "It's okay, baby boy, it's a good thing. Stay relaxed," he reminded the younger and pushed the slightly larger second bulb in Sanghyuk's hole as he took in a sharp breath.

Sanghyuk's toes curled as he already felt full even though the plug was only halfway in. He groaned and whined at the stretch, his muscles slightly burning but luckily the warm glass was able to soothe them, making the pain that much more bearable. When his breathing steadied again, Hakyeon pushed the final and largest bulb past his entrance, causing him to gasp loudly at the size.

Without permission, Sanghyuk closed his eyes tightly as a tear threatened to leave his eyes and the elder let him look away anyway. Hakyeon leaned over him once more to soothe him with a few kisses along the side of his neck. As if that wasn't enough, Hakyeon let go of the plug's base to rub the contracting muscles in his stomach before finally taking his aching cock in his hand, giving it a few slow strokes to help ease his discomfort.

"Baby boy, you did so well," Hakyeon praised as he sat up again to undo the wrist cuffs above Sanghyuk's head.

When the warm leather finally peeled off his wrists, Sanghyuk opened his eyes again and saw the elder massaging his thighs down to his stiff knees before gathering the restraint to place them aside on the nightstand. Sanghyuk slowly closed his legs as he rubbed his own wrists after bringing his arms down in front of him, trying to adjust to the anal plug that made him feel full.

"I'll reward you later baby boy, I promise. Let me know when it starts feeling uncomfortable," Hakyeon sternly order though the consideration in his voice was still evident.

Sanghyuk's cock, still desperate for some type of relief, twitched at the tone of the elder's voice and he could have sworn something was wrong with him. "Yes..." Sanghyuk muttered and earned himself a light slap on his outer thigh.

"Yes, what?" Hakyeon asked, waiting to hear the name that the younger agreed to call him.

"Yes, Mr. Cha," Sanghyuk complied with a loud enough voice, knowing if he stuttered he would just have to repeat himself.

"Good boy," Hakyeon replied, looking down at him fondly. He moved over to sit back against the cheap wooden headboard and gave his lap a few pats as he stretched his legs out. "Come here."

Sanghyuk felt exhausted even though he didn't do anything, but his body was still tired nonetheless. He managed to shift himself sideways to rest his head on the older man's lap. He actually felt cared for while laying in Hakyeon's lap as he massaged his body. The pain in his bottom subsided and he could feel himself dozing off and didn't bother fighting it.

All Hakyeon could bring himself to do was admire the boy in his lap. For once, he didn't feel scared about losing the younger and he didn't think about how things could end between them in the future. With a deep sigh, he leaned his head back against the wall as his hand continuously stroked Sanghyuk's side, closing his eyes to just enjoy the moment while it lasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, subscribing, and leaving kudos  
> I really appreciate it and hope you guys keep enjoying the story


	9. Hold Me

Hakyeon never stayed away from the group for so long. So, of course, everybody else at the tattoo parlor worried when he didn't show up at lunch for a couple of days. But then, after missing three consecutive lunches, they figured he just needed a break with everything that was happening between him and Sanghyuk. When he finally appeared through the door without any sort of hint, they were shocked and thrilled to see him back in the shop and back to his normal self.

"Hyung!" Ravi blurted out before clearing his throat, "Hyung. I didn't know you'd be here today."

"Well I am, so get some pizza," Hakyeon laughed as he set the pizza box he brought in with him on the front desk. Ravi turned around to go wash his hands before getting a slice while Jaehwan had already taken his first bite.

Hakyeon's eyes found their way over to Sanghyuk who looked like he was patiently waiting to get noticed. He gestured the bookkeeper to come over and without speaking any words, Sanghyuk got up from his seat to meet the elder. He was greeted with a soft kiss on his lips as Hakyeon caressed his cheek.

"Nasty," Jaehwan interrupted them with his face twisted in a frown.

Sanghyuk turned to look at the grossed out man with widened eyes and pointed his finger at him, "You wanted us to get together!"

"I said get together, not be nasty," Jaehwan commented from the couch before taking another bite.

Just to disturb Jaehwan, Hakyeon cupped Sanghyuk's cheeks and pulled him in for a loud smack on his lips as Jaehwan verbally expressed his disgruntlement. Hakyeon laughed at his discomfort just as Ravi walked back into the waiting area while drying his hands off.

"What? What did I miss again?" Ravi asked as he looked back and forth between the people in his shop in bewilderment.

Jaehwan pointed at the two lovers with his mouth full of pizza, "Those two were kissing and being nasty!"

Ravi just laughed at Jaehwan and reached to gently pinch his neck without any protest from him then brought his attention back to the two people clinging onto each other. "So, you guys are normal now?" Ravi asks with raised eyebrows.

The question caught Sanghyuk off guard. He took the question literally and didn't know how to answer if they were exactly "normal" or not. Hakyeon grasped the fact that the younger didn't know what to say and gave him a soft smack on his butt, trying to get him to calm down.

"Uh, yea...yea we're normal," Sanghyuk answered a little too eagerly as he nodded his head, trying to make his lie seem believable.

Jaehwan burst out laughing. "Yea, sure 'normal'," he snickered and Hakyeon shot him a glare. He didn't know if Jaehwan knew anything about his activities with the youngest but it wouldn't surprise him if Sanghyuk did tell him, considering how he found out that they talked about their relationship before.

"Never mind, you guys are all weird," Ravi muttered, wondering if they knew he could see everything as he went to get his slice of pizza.

"So um, Hyuk, how was your day... Oh wait, you never told me about that test you had to take, how did that go?" Hakyeon asked as took a seat next to Jaehwan on the couch, laying his shoulder bag on his lap. Hakyeon hoped his attempt at starting a conversation didn't seem abnormal or out of place. It was his first time trying to start a regular conversation with the student since they got back together. It was also his first time conversing with a submissive outside of discussing scenes and contracts. However, this what he was trying to develop himself for, to be able to communicate without his fears getting in the way. The last thing he wanted to do was seem awkward.

"Right," Sanghyuk replied, pleasantly surprised that Hakyeon actually remembered that test, "The test went fine, I passed anyway," he stated as he stayed over by the counter with Ravi to eat his slice.

"Of course, you always pass your math tests," Hakyeon said proudly with a smile while Ravi scoffed.

"I would hope you pass your math tests. I didn't hire you for my health," Ravi added only to be neck chopped by a man five years his junior.

When Ravi looked at him, wide-eyed and speechless, Sanghyuk chuckled as his eyes forming small crinkles in the corner. Ravi rose his hand to the younger as an empty threat even though everybody could see through his bluff.

"Aye, aye, back down! The only one who can hit him is me," Hakyeon yelled humorously at Ravi.

"What?" Sanghyuk and Ravi both shouted in unison. Hakyeon laughed and dismissed what he said with a wave of his hand. Ravi's eyebrow lifted into an arch as Sanghyuk had to calm down from his near heart attack.

As they talked and bantered, Jaehwan sat back and quietly watched the people in the shop with his lips pulled into a grin. He dusted off his hands and felt like everything was the way it was supposed to be and the two people he loved most were finding their happiness. He was most content that his hyung finally found somebody worth sharing his feelings with. For years, Jaehwan could have sworn that the eldest had become an emotionless robot ever since he had his first real relationship.

Jaehwan couldn't even remember those days clearly because he was busy setting up his own career. To him, it seemed like Hakyeon was as bright as he could possibly be then suddenly one day he completely shut down. He regretted not paying more attention to his friend back then but fortunately, it was starting to look like things were turning around for him.

Jaehwan shook his head to himself, not wanting to dwell too much on his friend's past. After bringing himself back to the moment, he saw how Hakyeon's eyes were sparkling as he talked and laughed with Sanghyuk.

Hakyeon caught from his peripheral vision that Jaehwan was staring at him and raised his eyebrows with interest. "Hmm, what's up?" Hakyeon hummed.

Jaehwan gave a crooked smile as he shook his head once more, "Nothing, Hyung."

"What? Staring into space again?" Hakyeon laughed lightly as he reached over to mess up Jaehwan's hair.

"I think he might actually be part alien," Sanghyuk chimed in and Jaehwan stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey Hyuk, can I speak to you in private?" Hakyeon decided to ask Sanghyuk because of the break in their conversation. Something told Sanghyuk that it wasn't really a question and he nodded his head as an answer. Hakyeon stood up from the couch and gestured the younger to follow him to the restroom in the back.

"I swear if you fuck my employee you're not allowed to come back," Ravi threatened as they made their way to the back.

"Oh if I did fuck him I'll still be coming back every day," Hakyeon said in a calm manner before entering the restroom N stated in a calm manner before he entered the restroom after Hyuk. Ravi took an aggravated bite out of his slice of pizza, knowing he couldn't stop Hakyeon.

Once Hakyeon securely closed the door behind them, he spun his finger around in a circle, "Turn around and take off your pants."

"Hyung...right here?" Hakyeon whispered. He had an idea of what Hakyeon brought him into the restroom for, but the command still seemed so sudden. Knowing Jaehwan and Ravi were just outside the walls didn't help to make him feel better either. The risk of getting caught seemed slightly appetizing, and Hakyeon knew that, but he could only handle so many heart attacks in one day.

"I'm not repeating myself," Hakyeon simply stated as he waited for the younger to do what he said.

Sanghyuk sighed as he faced the other way and undid his jeans, pulling them down to his calves. Hakyeon hooked his fingers on the band of the younger's underwear to tug them off his hips and down his legs. He held a firm grip on Sanghyuk's ass as he kneeled down, spreading the cheeks apart to reveal the base of a silicone gel plug that Sanghyuk was expected to wear.

"Good boy," Hakyeon commented, pleased that Sanghyuk obeyed him that morning, "How does it feel?" He rubbed his thumbs against the younger's soft skin in his hands.

"I don't know, if feels alright I suppose? I kind of forgot it was there," Sanghyuk answered, not really knowing what else to say as he tried to focus on not getting turned on by the elder.

Hakyeon stood up and hung his shoulder bag on the doorknob to keep it out of his way. He grabbed a plastic bag from inside it and placed it on the edge of the sink before quickly washing his hands. "Bend over," he told the younger as he faced him again and Sanghyuk easily obeyed without saying anything.

While holding the younger's hips still, he carefully and slowly pulled the plug out of him, watching for any sign of pain or discomfort. A few soft groans came from Sanghyuk and Hakyeon immediately stopped and massaged his hip instead, "Are you okay?"

"Yea...I just feel empty," Sanghyuk mumbled, his words barely coherent, though the small restroom let Hakyeon hear just fine.

"Louder," Hakyeon replied, trying not to smile.

"I just feel empty," Sanghyuk repeated in a normal voice and sighed.

"Okay." Hakyeon pulled the ribbed silicone plug all the way of him and placed it in the plastic bag he set aside with plans of cleaning it once he's home. "Come see me after work and we'll put it back in," he told the student as he pulled his boxers and pants back up.

"Yes, Mr. Cha," Sanghyuk answered as he stood up straight again, figuring the elder would like to hear his title.

Hakyeon turned the student around and kept his hand on his nape as he gazed into the younger's eyes. The eye contact made Sanghyuk unconsciously hold his breath, ready for anything the elder was about to do. Hakyeon pulled him closer by his neck and took Sanghyuk's bottom lip, giving it a small tug before letting go.

"You've been so good for me, baby boy," Hakyeon assured him as he pulled away.

Sanghyuk felt shivers go down his back just from being praised. But it was words like those that made him glad he decided to do this with the man. Though they just started working on their relationship, it seemed like just from Hakyeon's tone of voice that he truly cared for him.

"Mr. Cha?" Sanghyuk hesitantly spoke up.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

After hearing his request, Hakyeon moved his hand up Sanghyuk's jaw to caress his cheek, "Yes, you may." Sanghyuk realized he used the wrong choice of words but luckily he was given permission anyway.

Just as Sanghyuk leaned in to kiss his dominant, a loud banging came from the other side of the bathroom door. "I said no fucking!" Ravi shouted through the door.

Hakyeon let out a sigh, partially laughing to himself before also shouting back, "Nobody's fucking, calm down!" Before they could waste any more time, Hakyeon gave Sanghyuk a peck on his lips instead of a full kiss. "Go, Hyuk," he ushered the younger out of the restroom while he stayed behind to wash his hands again.

After Sanghyuk left the restroom, he was met with a frustrated Ravi but he had an important question to ask him that needed an answer, "You weren't listening, were you?"

"No, ew why the hell would I do that. Just get back to work so Jaehwan can get back to his," Ravi stated and Sanghyuk looked over across the parlor to see Ken at the computer instead of drawing like he's supposed to do.

"Right, sorry," the youngest apologized and hurried over to his spot at the front desk.

Hakyeon stepped out of the restroom and closed the door, ignoring the confused expression that Ravi was giving him. When their eyes finally met, Hakyeon stared back at him with a smirk as he cocked his head. "Problem?" Hakyeon innocently asked as Ravi furrowed his brows.

"I'm watching you two," Ravi retorted, still trying to give the elder a cold stare but was brushed to the side as he kept walking.

"Go ahead. Watch all you like," Hakyeon mused. Ravi was left speechless as he watched Hakyeon tell the others bye before leaving them to their work but was finally brought out of his daze when a client came through the front doors. 

Another day when both of them were free, Hakyeon invited Sanghyuk over to his apartment while the sun was still up for more than just talking. As time went by, Hakyeon ended up standing above Sanghyuk while he was sitting on his knees naked in the middle of the living room where there was more space than his cramped bedroom. Sanghyuk sat there blindfolded with his arms cuffed behind his back as he wore a cock ring. His chest and shoulders were covered in red and purple marks from scratches, bites, and bruises. Strands of hair stuck to his forehead from sweat as he let out uneven breaths.

Hakyeon casually walked behind Sanghyuk and held his chin, tilting his head up to lean down and kiss him. The kiss started off slow and gradually became deeper as Hakyeon took the younger's bottom lip between his teeth before taking his time to explore Sanghyuk's mouth with his tongue from the new stance. As he explored the younger's mouth, his free hand explored his torso as his nails grazed against the muscles, but not hard enough to make the skin red.

The kiss, however, didn't last that long since breaking it off was the only way Hakyeon could hold himself back as he could clearly tell how desperate the younger was getting. He kneeled down behind Sanghyuk, threading his fingers through his hair before grabbing it from the roots and pulled his head to the side. With more of his neck exposed, Hakyeon found a spot to suck and bite between Sanghyuk's neck and the back of his shoulder. Moans were drawn out from the younger as Hakyeon held onto his frame and leaned forward to lick wet stripes against his Adam's apple.

Meanwhile, Sanghyuk thought of how crazy he must be for actually enjoying it. Not just for enjoying it, but for also wanting more. Not being able to see Hakyeon and what he was going to do next made his heart beat fast and the moments when he did touch him were even better. It was as if he was rewarded for waiting patiently for the man. He couldn't even bring himself to care about what his parents would say or do if they ever saw the marks. All he could think about was the man currently squeezing his thigh using him and how his body aching for its' relief.

"Baby boy, you have such an amazing body," Hakyeon commented in awe of the younger's firm and tight body.

"Thank you, Mr. Cha," Sanghyuk replied, no longer embarrassed about saying his title out loud.

Hakyeon raised Sanghyuk's blindfold and the younger man had to blink repeatedly to adjust to the sudden exposure of light. Hakyeon turned his head to the side so they could make eye contact. Once their eyes met, their lips were immediately connected again. The kiss was messy and full of want and need. Sanghyuk pulled on his restraints, wanting to keep the man as close to him as possible.

One of Hakyeon's hands sneaked down and gave Sanghyuk's length a small squeeze, causing him to groan in the kiss. His cock was still sensitive and throbbing from the ring holding his orgasms back. After Hakyeon unlocked it and pulled it off, it took everything he had to keep himself from coming. Hakyeon made it harder and harder every day for Sanghyuk to not disobey him but he was starting to reach his limit. As Hakyeon stroked his shaft painfully slow, he almost didn't believe the words he heard come out of the elder's mouth.

"Come for me, baby boy."

That was all Sanghyuk needed to finally let himself go. Deep guttural moans escaped him as his body arched away from Hakyeon because of the powerful climax. He didn't even know he could have an orgasm so strong it felt like was going throughout his whole body. His come stained Hakyeon's floor while the man tried to catch on his fingers. What surprised Sanghyuk was that they haven't actually had sex yet. All that got him to that point were the plugs, a vibrator Hakyeon just used, and his touches. Sanghyuk didn't notice that the cuffs were gone until he fell backward on Hakyeon, covering the man's small frame with his body and almost knocked him back.

Hakyeon wrapped his arm around the younger's torso and brought his other hand up to Sanghyuk's mouth to let him taste himself. While Hakyeon separated his legs on either side of Sanghyuk to make him sit between them, he watched the younger lazily suck his fingers clean. Sanghyuk thought he heard Hakyeon whisper something about him being dirty but he was too out of it to tell. He eventually came down from his high and leaned back on Hakyeon's shoulder. After looking up at the elder with heavy breaths, he was met with a soft kiss on his lips.

"Did I do good?" Sanghyuk asked, mumbling against his lips.

"Yes, very," Hakyeon responded with a bit of a chuckle, "I wish I would have known you would like this earlier."

"I...I didn't know I would," Sanghyuk stammered but wished he would have known as well.

"It's okay anyway. We're here now," Hakyeon assured him as he placed a kiss on his forehead.

As Hakyeon brought Sanghyuk closer against him and hugged him tightly, he realized that it was his first time ever being held like that. He could almost laugh at the fact that Hakyeon was the first person he's been with to hold him so securely make him feel cared for. Well, I am his baby boy, he instinctively thought then surprised himself because of how quickly he's getting used to everything.

Hakyeon's hand stroked the younger's inner thigh, the spot quickly becoming his favorite since he can easily hear the small moans coming out of him. "Do you like this, baby boy? Being touched and treated like this?" Hakyeon asked quietly in his ear as he squeezed his thigh.

Sanghyuk hooked his arm the elder man as he tried to keep himself from squirming since his body was still sensitive from the recent orgasm. However, he couldn't bring himself to answer the question. He had a hard enough time admitting things to himself, let alone telling it to the elder.

"Baby boy, answer me," Hakyeon said sternly and lightly pinched the inside of Sanghyuk's thigh, causing his leg to flinch slightly.

An idea popped in Sanghyuk's head at the spur of the moment but at the same time, he didn't believe he actually came up with it. Sanghyuk decided to keep his mouth shut so he could experience what else Hakyeon might do to him if he doesn't answer. So far, the pain that Sanghyuk was anxious about didn't completely feel like pain. He knew Hakyeon was going easy on him but he wanted to know what more would feel like.

"Why is my baby boy being so naughty today?" Hakyeon pinched a larger spot on the inside of Sanghyuk's thigh and held it for longer, drawing a moan out of the younger.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cha. Yes, I do like it," Sanghyuk confessed, a little earlier than he planned to. Though it was hardly a secret as his cock twitched when Hakyeon rubbed the area he pinched. Sanghyuk figured he would have a small bruise from how tightly Hakyeon held his skin but he didn't mind.

These days, he didn't mind much when it came to the elder anymore ever since they started working on their relationship. In fact, nothing else seemed to matter but Hakyeon. Even though he knew Hakyeon was afraid of things ending one day, he couldn't see an end in sight. However, he couldn't tell him that, not right now.

Hakyeon leaned his head down one more to kiss Sanghyuk, sucking on his bottom lip before pulling away. He grabbed the younger from underneath his arms, helping him to stand up in case his legs were asleep or anything else.

"Let's go get cleaned up," Sanghyuk nodded in agreement and shook the tingly feeling out of his legs before following the elder to the back.

The next day, Sanghyuk's job at the tattoo parlor went along like any other day. He checked in a client who had an appointment and went back to reading his online lessons, something Ravi allowed him to do when they weren't busy. He didn't pay the woman any mind once she went to the back with Ravi and Jaehwan until he heard her review the tattoo design she was supposed to get.

"Love until the very end," the woman read the design out loud with a smile spreading across her face, "It's perfect."

Jaehwan smiled at the compliment to his work, feeling proud that the woman called it perfect. For the past couple of days, Jaehwan was worried if the design was too simple or if the client wouldn't like it. It still came as a shock to Sanghyuk that Jaehwan wasn't as confident with his tattoo designs as he was with his other drawings.

As Ravi prepped the woman and his tools, Jaehwan decided to speak up, making conversation with the clients like he always does. "So, does it mean anything?"Jaehwan asked, "I mean, is it about somebody or something?"

"Yes, it does. There's this guy...actually, he's the first guy I've even fallen in love with," the woman admitted and Sanghyuk could see Jaehwan's face light up like a Christmas tree.

"Yay, I love love stories," Jaehwan chimed and Sanghyuk could only laugh as he leaned back in his chair, forgetting about the lessons on the computer screen.

The woman laughed as much as she could with needles in her side before speaking up again, "Yea, we were best friends at first and then suddenly he confessed."  Her words were cut off by the sound of Jaehwan clapping and Ravi shot him a look that made him quiet down again. "Ha, anyways. I was worried that a relationship might ruin our friendship, but...I decided we'll just love until the very end."

Her story was kept short but it was enough to make Jaehwan beam in happiness as well as make Ravi pretend like he wasn't smiling and it was also enough for Sanghyuk to zone out in his thoughts. He repeated the quote in his head and immediately thought of the one he was with. Sanghyuk convinced himself that it wasn't because he loved Hakyeon or anything, but because he thought the woman was right.

Even if there is going to be an end, you should enjoy it to the fullest, he thought as he nodded to himself. He wanted to be able to tell Hakyeon the quote and help him see that everything will be okay as long as they spend their time together. But Sanghyuk couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he did end up having more feelings for the man.

Sanghyuk shook the thought out of his mind and scooted his seat up to get closer to the computer screen. He's never even loved his past girlfriends, there was no way he could begin to feel that way about Hakyeon. He blamed the thought on him acting crazy as of late and continued his studies.  


	10. Don't Let Go

Sanghyuk sat across from Hakyeon, stirring his straw around his cup of tea as he zoned in and out of the older man's chatter. He wondered if he should mention what happened the other day just to see what Hakyeon would say about it. The quote hadn't left his mind and the meaning of it was bugging the hell out of him. Though they have been talking to each other more and getting closer, so he figured that it should be okay to bring it up as long as he approached it cautiously.

"Hyuk?" Hakyeon spoke a little louder, snapping Sanghyuk away from his thoughts.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something," Sanghyuk explained with a shake of his head before he continued to sip his tea.

"What about?" Hakyeon asked, concerned if anything might be wrong.

"Just, stuff about this client that came in yesterday," Sanghyuk answered and knew he had to ready himself to answer more questions from the elder.

"Oh, what happened with the client?" Hakyeon continued without looking up at the student. He picked up his fork to take a bite out of the slice of cake that they were sharing before bringing his eyes up again.

"Well, nothing really. They just got a tattoo because of their boyfriend," he shrugged before also taking a piece out of the cake.

"And? What made this tattoo so different that you're still thinking about it?" the question easily slipped out of Hakyeon as he continued picking at the cake. It wasn't the first time somebody got a tattoo for a boyfriend so there had to be more to it.

"Nothing just - They wanted this quote, 'Love until the very end'. It kind of made me think about you,"  Sanghyuk admitted.

"Oh...really?" Hakyeon coughed, clearing his throat before taking a long sip of his tea. "Why?" he forced himself to ask.

Sanghyuk took a moment to carefully gather his words as he leaned forward, resting his forearms against the edge of the oak table. Knowing Hakyeon, if he mentioned the word "love" too much, he would risk the other shutting down completely.

"Just because, well, I thought of how you're afraid of things ending..." Sanghyuk spoke slowly as he chose his words one by one. Hakyeon shifted in his seat, looking visibly uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading but he let the younger continue talking, partially wanting to hear what else he had to say. "And, even though there may be an end, I - I just feel like I need to say that I really...I."

As Sanghyuk struggled to form his sentence, Hakyeon placed his hand on top of his. Sanghyuk's gazed peered down to the elder's warm hand and he felt like he could relax slightly. "Go on, sweetie," Hakyeon encouraged, speaking softly.

"I honestly don't know if I can say 'I love you' yet but, I really like you, Hyung. I just felt that it was important to tell you. Please don't run off now that I said that," Sanghyuk finally ended with a light chuckle though he was halfway serious about what he said.

Hakyeon felt a pang in his chest from hearing the younger's plead. Seeing the younger confess like that to him didn't surprise him too much. He knew how easily submissives could get attached and fall in love. That was the main reason why he had temporary contracts with his past partners so he could leave before any strong feelings developed. But, the fact that Sanghyuk was still worried about being hurt again is what made him feel guilty and apologetic. He wished he would have been able to treat the younger the way he deserved to be treated.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hyuk," Hakyeon tried to reassure the student as he squeezed his hand, "I'm glad you were able to tell me that." As if he didn't feel guilty enough, him not reciprocating the younger's feelings made things worse. All he could hope for was that Sanghyuk stayed as understanding as he has been so far.

Sanghyuk sighed with a breath of relief, "Thanks, Hyung." Luckily, Sanghyuk's worst case scenario didn't play out like he somewhat expected it to. If anything, he didn't think it could have gone any better.

Hakyeon pulled Sanghyuk closer to him by his chin and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, sealing his words that he wasn't leaving anytime soon. However, when they separated from each other, Sanghyuk pretended to have a look of disapproval written on his face.

"Really?"

"Oh please, I know you like it,' Hakyeon snickered and brought Sanghyuk in for another smooch just to mess with him.

The kiss was cut off short by the sound of obnoxious coughing coming from the table next to them. Hakyeon looked over to see a man about his same age not so subtly glaring at them. If the ugly look was only directed at him, he would have rolled his eyes and continued on with his business. But he wasn't going to let his baby boy be scrutinized the same way.

Hakyeon dared the man to say something as he pierced holes in the man's skulls with his eyes. Just when the judgmental stranger was about to break down and give up, Sanghyuk shook his partner by the arm, breaking his focus.

"I think we should just go," Sanghyuk quietly suggested as he grabbed his plastic cup and stood out of his seat.

"Fine," Hakyeon muttered and snatched his cup off the table before following Sanghyuk out of the cafe but not before sending the stranger one final scowl.

Once outside, Hakyeon felt the need to hold Sanghyuk's hand as they strolled down the sidewalk. They had a thing going on and anyone who had something to say about it be damned. Despite Sanghyuk trying to pry his hand off, Hakyeon ignored his efforts and wouldn't let his hand budge. After Sanghyuk tried to pull away, Hakyeon pretended to give up only to hook his arm around the younger's broad shoulders, bringing him closer. Sanghyuk had no choice but to give up with a whine and let his partner be as clingy as he wanted to be.

They walked side by side, discussing random things like Sanghyuk's favorite cake flavor and Hakyeon's favorite type of music. There was no place they decided to go to next so they slowly emptied their cups until they came across a small empty park. Sanghyuk slipped from under Hakyeon's arm and left him behind without a word to sit on one of the swings. He gestured to the swing beside him, waiting for Hakyeon to sit down as he began to lightly swing his legs.

"So, Hyung," Sanghyuk started and Hakyeon gazed at him with pursed lips, "I really want to know, why are you scared of being in relationships?"

"Hyuk, I already told you," Hakyeon concluded with a hint of annoyance evident in his tone as he didn't really want to replay that conversation again.

"I know but like, why do you think that way? I mean, you would say you love Jaehwan right? But I never heard you say you're afraid of losing him or anything. Why is being in a relationship so different?" Sanghyuk explained to make his question clearer.

"Wow, you really don't hold back with the questions do you?" Sanghyuk gave a simple shrug as Hakyeon could only shake his head at the younger's unending curiosity. However, He couldn't blame him for wanting to ask so many questions. "Jaehwan is different. He's the only one who's been there through everything. Even when we're busy, I know he's still there. He's seen my lows and knows my flaws and he's still there. He's my everything," Hakyeon spilled out.

He turned and saw the younger looking down as he kicked the dirt. Just that fast, Hakyeon could see the disheartened look that now filled Sanghyuk's eyes. "Don't look like that, sweetie. You know you're different too," Hakyeon tried to assure him.

"Pssh, I knew that," Sanghyuk chimed to sound like he didn't get jealous for a split second, "You still didn't answer my other questions, though."

"Let me finish," Hakyeon stated but honestly didn't know how to continue. He took another sip of his tea, giving him a second to think. In the meantime, Sanghyuk began to swing a bit as he waited for Hakyeon. "Are you sure you don't want to be a therapist?" Hakyeon laughed.

"Hyung, stop trying to change the subject!"

"Okay, okay. Your questions just have me thinking about my entire life," Sanghyuk laughed at that and fully turned his seat to be able to look at the older man as the metal chains creaked from above. "I don't really know why the two are different and I'm not saying that to avoid the question. Even years ago when I met this guy, I thought the same way, and he was the first one to make me feel..." Hakyeon paused but Sanghyuk continued to listen intently to what the elder might say next.

Hakyeon began recalling memories of his past that might help Sanghyuk with what he wanted to learn. He didn't believe his story had many answers, but he also believed Sanghyuk deserved to know something, anything.

*          *          *

"Hakyeon-ah, come on!" Hakyeon sighed as he was dragged along by his classmate that was three years his junior, though they were both freshmen in college.

"What did I tell you? Call me Hyung," he whined as they finally arrived at the right apartment.

"Hyung, sir, mister, whatever, look, I need you to not be so frumpy once we go past this door. We're in  the first month of school, we can't be known at those lame guys."

"Hongbin, why do you care so much about what people will think?" Hakyeon asked the younger, stopping him in front of the door before they knock.

"Because I'm hanging out with an old man and the last thing I need is for them to actually think you act like an old man," Hongbin said only to have his neck sliced.

"Just calm down, everything will be fine. Nobody is going to think that you're lame, okay?" Hakyeon assured him, gently patting the younger one's shoulder as he took a deep breath to calm himself.

Hakyeon knocked on the door and after a brief moment it was opened for them and the music from inside drained out into the hallways. "Hey!" the host of the party shouted so his voice can be heard over the bass, "Come on in guys!" he ushered them inside to let them join the party.

Though Hongbin tried his best to stay cool, Hakyeon could see through the facade and hit him on the back reassuringly so he can loosen up. However, it didn't take long for Hakyeon to lose him in the party. _I knew he would be fine_ , Hakyeon thought to himself. Now Hakyeon just had to find something for himself to do since he honestly didn't want to be at the party in the first place. He was just there to give the poor soul some company he obviously didn't need at the minute. The kitchen seemed like a good place to escape to as it was less crowded than the rest of the party.

He didn't plan on drinking, at least not the beer he has seen in everyone's hands. But once he was in the kitchen, he saw a person drinking from a box of wine in the refrigerator and decided that would make do. He grabbed a plastic cup and poured himself some before sitting at the barstool counter, ignoring the fact that the host probably came from a rich family to even own an apartment like that.

Hakyeon's phone kept him company as he tried to pass the time, just waiting for when Hongbin would be ready to go. Unfortunately, the battery life on his phone was short but it was starting to bore him anyways. He figured it would be best to join the party and maybe find Hongbin and mingle with him. That was until a tall man with a stoic face strode into the kitchen.

The man swiped a beer from the cooler before taking a seat on the barstool next to Hakyeon. He didn't say anything and he didn't even seem to acknowledge that Hakyeon was there, but either way, Hakyeon showed him a friendly smile and decided to make conversation with him.

"Hey! Did you just get here?" Hakyeon asked the stranger cheerfully but was met with a blank face from him. Yet, Hakyeon didn't let the intense stare get to him and continued to introduce himself, "I'm Hakyeon by the way. I'm in the culinary program, what about you?"

When he still didn't receive a response, he figured that must be the type of frumpy Hongbin was talking about earlier. He gave up trying to talk to the man since it seemed like he didn't want to be bothered. Hakyeon took a sip out of his second cup of wine as he went back to his phone. The man peered over into Hakyeon's cup and Hakyeon slowly turned his head, wondering what he wanted.

"They have wine?" the man asked and Hakyeon nodded his head before getting up to fetch a plastic cup from the counter so he could pour him a glass of the boxed wine from the refrigerator.

"Here you go," Hakyeon flashed him a quick smile before returning to his seat. Just as he picked up his phone again, the screen went black as it finally died. "Dammit," he mumbled to himself and slipped his phone back into his pants.

"Do you not like parties either?" the man asked in a soft voice that Hakyeon could barely hear.

"I don't mind them, I've just been trying to stay away from them. My friend ended up dragging me here," Hakyeon shrugged then looked into the living to see if he could finally spot the younger. There he sat on the couch, currently struggling to talk to a girl.

"Ah...same," the man nodded before taking a large gulp of the wine. Hakyeon stared at him with wide eyes but didn't judge him, the man can drink however he wants to, he thought. "I'm uh Jung Taekwoon. I'm studying music composition," he finally answered.

Hakyeon didn't expect to ever get an answer from the man, but now that he was finally talking, Hakyeon went back to wanting a conversation with him. They spent the rest of the night talking together as the alcohol made it easier for Taekwoon to lose a bit of that aloof demeanor. Even with the wine, Hakyeon could tell how reserved the man was and found his shy smile, hidden behind his hand, to be adorable whenever it appeared. They lost track of time and when Hongbin was finally ready to go, Hakyeon left his number with the man before leaving with his friend.

Hakyeon wasn't planning on getting involved with any guys, he didn't even know if Taekwoon was like him but the man was all he could think about. However, days passed and Hakyeon still didn't receive a call or text from him. Instead of the adoration Hakyeon felt for him, he was just left disappointed.

He tried not to think of the man anymore but that plan failed when he accidentally spotted him at one of the restaurants on campus. Hakyeon didn't know if he should speak up first, or speak up at all considering Taekwoon never contacted him. In the midst of his thoughts, Taekwoon came over to him first anyway.

He apologized for not calling him and explained that after having too many drinks that night, he accidentally left the phone number at the apartment. Hakyeon immediately accepted his apology with a laugh, saying it was okay as long as he pays for his coffee. Taekwoon laughed at this and Hakyeon could have sworn it was the most beautiful laugh he's ever heard.

The one coffee date was followed by another and another until they began having coffee together at Hakyeon's shabby apartment. When they weren't bothered by school, they always found themselves at that apartment and soon they went from having coffee to cuddling. It happened naturally and neither of them spoke of labels and just enjoyed things as they were.

And things stayed like they were was until one day when they were hanging out like they normally do on the couch, with Hakyeon lying on top of Taekwoon as they lazily shared several small kisses. Taekwoon's hand slipped under Hakyeon's shirt as he tried to pull him closer as if they could never be close enough. When they took a break from kissing, Hakyeon rested his head on the man's wide and inviting shoulder like it was his personal pillow.

"Hakyeon," Taekwoon spoke up with a soft and shaky voice.

"Hmm?"

"I love you..." Taekwoon whispered to him.

"H-Huh?" Hakyeon stuttered though there was no way he couldn't hear the man.

"I love you...so much," Taekwoon easily repeated and squeezed Hakyeon.

Hakyeon so badly wanted to tell the man that he loved him too, that he wanted to stay like that with him forever. But Hakyeon knew that no matter who the person was, there was no such thing as forever. He knew that the people you love only end up leaving you and the more you love them, the more the goodbyes hurt. Hakyeon couldn't let that happen with him and Taekwoon.

He forced a smile on his face as the man continued to hug him. He was glad Taekwoon didn't question him when he didn't say the words back. As Taekwoon closed his eyes, so did Hakyeon, knowing it would be the last time they'd spend their naps together. The few nights after that while he laid alone in his bed, all he wanted to do, all he probably could do was just cry himself to sleep, but he refused to leave any trace of pain. After all, it was better that way for the both of them.

Throughout the months they had left in the semester, Hakyeon had to try his best to avoid the man. Everywhere he went, people would come up to him saying Taekwoon's looking for him. He eventually stopped going to the campus restaurants to not risk Taekwoon spotting him. He just wanted the man to forget him while it wasn't too late.

*          *          *

Sanghyuk was left in a stupor after hearing Hakyeon's story. Even though his questions weren't answered, in fact, he was left with more, he was still content with the fact that Hakyeon opened up more to him. But, that didn't stop him from feeling bad for the man that Hakyeon once knew. Sanghyuk believed he had a hint of how the man must have felt. While Hakyeon didn't physically leave him in the beginning, he wasn't emotionally there either and there was no difference in Sanghyuk's eyes. He also couldn't help but worry again and wonder if Hakyeon would abandon him like he did the man.

"Do you still believe that it's better to never be together?" Sanghyuk uttered when he was able to speak again with his eyes cast down upon the ground to hide how red they were becoming.

"I'm trying not to, Hyuk. I really am," Hakyeon choked out, "I hope you believe me. You _are_ different, and you make me want to think differently. I'll repeat it for you as much as you want, I don't want to lose you. I _need_ you, Hyuk."

Hakyeon's gaze never left Sanghyuk as he spoke, trying as best as he could to make the younger believe him with the only words he felt he could use. Once Sanghyuk raised his head again to meet the other's eyes, there was no need to think about what he meant or to think about anything at all. He left his swing and dropped his empty cup on the ground as he made his way over to Hakyeon, cupping his cheeks as he leaned down to kiss the man.

The kiss caught Hakyeon by surprise but he instinctively returned it as he let go of his cup as well, spilling some tea on the ground. Hakyeon threw his arms around Sanghyuk's neck to him closer, letting their noses repeatedly bump into each other as the kiss became needier. Everything Hakyeon felt for the younger man poured out into the kiss. For the first time since Hakyeon could remember, his cheeks became wet with hot tears. The only reason the two parted from each other was to fill their lungs with air again. Even after pulling away from the kiss, Sanghyuk still stayed close to him by resting his forehead against the elder's.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, especially after you just told that story," Sanghyuk uttered with a bright airy laugh as his thumbs caressed Hakyeon's soft cheeks, "but I love you. I wasn't sure before but there's no questioning it now. You don't have to- you don't need to say it back, as long as you do not leave me right now. I'll just love you until the very end, whenever that may be. And you know, the end doesn't always have to be bad..."

The confession came just in time for the setting sun to cast an afterglow on the features of Sanghyuk's face. _There couldn't be a more perfect moment_ , Hakyeon thought as he loosely intertwined his fingers in the younger's hair.

"I can't leave you, sweetie," Hakyeon assured him as his hands traveled down Sanghyuk's strong back before wrapping his arms around the younger's waist.

There was no way Hakyeon could possibly imagine what he would do at this moment if he wasn't able to touch and hold him. He wished he could have been normal, that it could have been this way from the start without his fears getting in the way. When his eyes felt like they were dry again, he let out another choked laugh as he squeezes the younger. "Dammit, Hyuk... You made me cry," he scoffed jokingly.

"Sorry," Sanghyuk apologized and made up for it by wiping away Hakyeon's tears before they could stain his face. He captured the older man's lips for a quick and soft kiss before pulling up his sleeve to check his watch and see how late it was getting.

"You still have it?" Hakyeon immediately muttered to himself as he took Sanghyuk's hand to look at the familiar black leather and gold metal of the watch. Due to the cold weather, the watch was hidden by Sanghyuk's long sleeves and Hakyeon had no idea he still kept it. After what happened, he expected it to be thrown in a dump somewhere.

"Yeah, I do. Honestly, I was going to throw it away the day you were doing 'laundry'," Sanghyuk cut his eyes at Hakyeon who just ignored the look, "but I couldn't bring myself to do it and I started wearing it again...after we talked."

Hakyeon couldn't contain his smile as he brought Sanghyuk's hand to his lips, pressing a quick peck to the back of it as Sanghyuk groaned from above him. "Ugh, Hyung, why are you so cheesy," Sanghyuk whined.

"I'm cheesy?! You quoted a tattoo!" Hakyeon blurted out with laughter as he pushed the younger away from him.

"The tattoo was deep, not cheesy," Sanghyuk argued, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie while walking away from him.

Hakyeon rolled his eyes at the younger man's rebuttal before picking up their cups to toss them into the nearest trash bin. He caught up to Sanghyuk with a jog and suddenly jumped on the back he adored so much. Sanghyuk's steps didn't falter as he held onto Hakyeon's thighs while the elder loosely wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"If you're going to be this clingy, I don't know if this is going to work," Sanghyuk stated, going back to his normal calm banter. As he walked, he shifted Hakyeon higher onto his back so he'll be more comfortable.

"I guess not then, cause I'm not letting you go," Hakyeon retorted. Since there weren't many people on the street, he moved Sanghyuk's hood to the side to expose his neck. He nibbled and sucked on the pale skin, being loving in one of the few ways he knew how. Fortunately for them, the cold weather also helped Sanghyuk hide his marks as well as the watch.

"Ah, Hyung..." Sanghyuk meant to say with a clearly only to have his voice be strained by a moan trying to escape his throat.

Hakyeon chuckled under his breath and moved from Sanghyuk's neck to rest his chin on the younger's shoulder. It felt like something he could get used to, especially as Sanghyuk began to rub a thumb against his thigh. For so long, he felt the need to hide his feelings and avoid loving people, but Sanghyuk was the only one who made him feel comfortable. And for the first time, he could believe that everything would probably be okay.


	11. Differences

"Hyung!" Sanghyuk shouted into the phone after Hakyeon picked up. Hakyeon just stepped outside his bakery, swinging his car keys around his fingers and could swear Sanghyuk was waiting for the very second he got off work to call.

"Hyuk, please don't blow out my eardrums. What's wrong?" Hakyeon questioned, his phone held in place by his shoulder as he entered his car.

"Oh, right. I forget how much older you are," the elder silently rolled his eyes, "I think I left one of my textbooks at your house. It's not here and I'm kind of starting to freak out."

"Well don't freak out. I'm on my way home, it'll probably be there and then I can drop it off at your place," Hakyeon said as he put the call on speakerphone before starting his car engine.

"No, Hyung! I'll just come pick it up," Sanghyuk quickly advised.

"Why? I'll drop it off for you so you don't have to stop studying. Just calm down, alright?" Hakyeon asked of him and pulled out of the parking lot, starting his route home. "Wait," he paused, "are your parents home or something? Is that why you're freaking out?"

"They're not here right now, but my dad might come home soon," Sanghyuk responded with his voice gradually returning to normal but the hint of worry was still evident.

"Don't worry, I'll be quick. In and out," Hakyeon tried to reassure him but he could hear the younger sighing from the other side of the line. "I'll be there soon, sweetie."

"Okay...I'll see you when you get here," Sanghyuk muttered into the phone and after they said their byes to each other, Hakyeon hung up.

Within a matter of minutes, Hakyeon made it to his apartment building thanks to the short distance from there to his bakery. This, he thought, was the reason why he stressed location, location, location to his realtor.

Luckily, many of the other residents weren't home from their respective jobs yet and Hakyeon had a number of empty parking spots to choose from. After exiting the car, a light jog helped him make his way up to his apartment quicker than normal, though the elevator in the middle stalled his pace. One step inside his home, and nothing else, and Sanghyuk's textbook was on the dining table for all to see.

"Really?" he muttered to himself as he shook his head. He could almost laugh at the fact that Sanghyuk was just that distracted last night to leave behind an obnoxiously huge textbook.

With the book in hand, he went straight out the front door and used to same speed from before to make it back to his car. While on his way to Sanghyuk's place, it dawned on Hakyeon that he needed to ask Sanghyuk for his address. Before he could even pick up his phone to call Sanghyuk about where he stayed, he remembered that Sanghyuk and Jaehwan lived in the same building. However, at a red light, Hakyeon still had to text the younger and ask what his apartment number was. The response came quicker than Hakyeon expected and he kept the number in mind as he continued driving once the light turned green.

To Hakyeon, it felt like he caught every red light on the way to Sanghyuk's but he was still able to make good time. He had Sanghyuk's apartment number repeating itself in his mind as he left his car and swiftly made his over to the building's elevator. Being there for Sanghyuk felt strange to him since he usually only ever came to that building to visit Jaehwan. Now, he was visiting his... partner.

He knocked on Sanghyuk's apartment door and believed for a second that the book was snatched out of his hand before the door could even fully open. "Hello to you too," Hakyeon casually uttered as he stepped inside the apartment.

There was no way he was going to leave without checking out the place Sanghyuk stayed. The floor plan, so far, was the same as Jaehwan's but of course, the furniture that laid inside was different and more put together than his friend's. Hakyeon couldn't fully comprehend that he was actually standing in "his partner's" apartment, especially since he was still trying to get used to the term "his partner".

"Sorry. Hi, Hyung," Sanghyuk responded when he got his manners in order. While Hakyeon just stood there, taking everything in, he felt it would be awkward to just kick him out the house. "Um, do you wanna come see my room maybe?" he asked suddenly.

Hakyeon's attention snapped over to Sanghyuk and he burst out laughing. "Oh God, it feels like I'm in school again," he exclaimed. When the younger kept a look of confusion on his face, Hakyeon nodded his head to give him a clear answer, "Yes, sweetie."

"Why does it sound better to be called baby boy than sweetie?" Snaghyuk questioned himself as he led the older man down the hallway.

"Hmm, maybe because you are my baby boy?" Hakyeon suggested as if it was that obvious and hugged the younger from behind while following him. Sanghyuk didn't respond since he knew he couldn't deny it.

 Sanghyuk gestured to his room with a sweep of his hand, showcasing the little space that he claimed for himself. "Well, this is it. There's not much really to look at," Sanghyuk noticed as he scrutinized his own room. He had nothing of particular to show off to the elder except for his scholarly awards and comic books.

Hakyeon sat down on Sanghyuk's bed as the younger turned his desk chair around before taking a seat. Being surrounded by planners, sticky notes, and calendars brought back memories of him being in high school: Memories of him sneaking out the house or sneaking boys in the house and doing other things he's not so proud of anymore. The thoughts of his past were starting to weigh down on him but Sanghyuk who was sitting right in front of him brought him back to the present.

"You know, your room is pretty cute," Hakyeon commented to break the silence.

"Cute?"

"Cute."

"How the hell is my room cute?" Sanghyuk looked around his room one more time to see what the elder could possibly be talking about.

"Cause it's like you, cute," Hakyeon blatantly stated.

"Hyung," Sanghyuk whined as he slouched down in his chair, "I thought we were over this cute stuff."

"What could have possibly made you think that," Hakyeon said as he lightly kicked the younger's feet in the small room, "Of course I would still think my baby boy is cute. In fact, you're the cutest."

"No, ah, Hyung, no I'm not," Sanghyuk grumbled and kicked and swung his legs, effectively throwing a mini tantrum.

Hakyeon stared at the young man with a blank face until the temper tantrum finally calmed down and pursed his lips, "Sure, Hyukkie."

Out of nowhere, the sound of the front door slamming interrupted whatever conversation they were having. Sanghyuk immediately shot up, his eyes widening as their gaze froze on the older man, "Oh shit, my dad's here. What are we going to do?" His face became panic-stricken as he paced his room back and forth and let thoughts flood his mind about how he was going to get himself out of the situation.

"Hyuk, calm down," Hakyeon blurted out as quietly as possible and grabbed Sanghyuk by the wrist, "Just simply tell him you brought a friend from school. It's highly unlike the first thing he'll suspect is a relationship or anything."

"Are you sure about that? Ugh, yeah, you're right, okay," Sanghyuk took a deep breath as he wrist was free once again, "Just wait here and I'll tell him."

"Don't freak out," Hakyeon warned him and the younger man gave him a nod before setting the plan into motion.

Sanghyuk stepped outside the room and cautiously made his way down the hallway, trying to keep his nerves and breathing calm. Before he could even see his dad, he already heard the living room TV click on. When he peeked around the corner, he could see his dad sitting on the couch, switching through TV channels.

"Hi, Dad," Sanghyuk spoke up, his voice cracking slightly as he got closer.

"Hyuk, how's studying going?" his dad asked, barely turning to face him.

"Fine. I uh, actually brought a friend from school, so we could study together," Sanghyuk lied and hoped his excuse would work.

"Oh? I wish you would have told me or your mom that you were planning on bringing company to the house," his dad began to lecture and finally faced him.

"Sorry...but he's on his way out now," Sanghyuk said to try and speed through nagging.

"Well can I meet the stranger who's in my house before he leaves?" his dad asked. Sanghyuk knew it wasn't a question but maybe just maybe he could avoid having any meetings.

"Is that really necessary?"

"Yes, it is. Or do you not want to be able to bring a study partner back to this house again?" His dad reiterated.

Sanghyuk sighed and turned around without speaking another word to head back to his room. He opened the door to see Hakyeon standing in the middle of the room like he was waiting. "My dad wants to meet you," Sanghyuk announced, annoyed at the fact that the plan didn't go as smoothly as they had hoped.

"What did you do?" Hakyeon whispered as he got closer to Sanghyuk.

"Nothing, just come on so we can finish this quickly."

Hakyeon was ushered out of the room by the younger man and led down the hallway. They stepped in the living room together though Sanghyuk kept an appropriate amount of distance between them, and finally saw Sanghyuk's dad for the first time. Despite being unusually hesitant, Hakyeon took a step closer and showed the friendliest smile he had as he respectfully bowed his head. Sanghyuk's dad stood up from the couch to face the two and nodded his head in a bow as well while closely observing the man standing next to his son.

The intense stare that was locked on him made Hakyeon hope that he still looked as young as people said he did sometimes. He was pretty sure the man wouldn't believe that a twenty-nine-year-old man was his son's classmate. "Hello, Sir. I'm Cha Hakyeon, it's nice to meet you," Hakyeon spoke up.

"You're in my son's class?" Sanghyuk's father questioned and Hakyeon couldn't tell if he was really asking or if he was being suspicious. The last time he dealt with parents was when he was eighteen years old and he couldn't fully make out the tone of the situation.

"Yes, Sir. We take a couple of classes together and I was sick last week so I came to Hyuk to ask if he can help me play catch up before the next test. Everybody at school knows how good he is at studying so I knew he would be the best person to ask," Sanghyuk quickly cut his eyes over to his partner, amazed at how quickly he came up with that lie.

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Hakyeon. If Sanghyuk would have told us company was coming over the place would be more presentable," Sanghyuk's father responded and they both felt relieved that the lie was bought.

Hakyeon let out a soft chuckle as he intertwined his fingers behind his back, "That's not necessary. Your home looks completely fine as it is. I actually just told Hyuk how nice the place is decorated-"

"Yeah, and he's about to leave anyways. I was just going to see him out, okay, Dad?" Sanghyuk chimed in and quickly cut off whatever conversation the two older men were about to engage in.

"Well alright," Sanghyuk's father responded, "Hakyeon, it was nice meeting you."

"Same to you, sir," and with that, Sanghyuk successfully pushed Hakyeon out the front door, but, he wasn't going to let the man leave without speaking to him.

Sanghyuk looked at Hakyeon in disbelief of how well he handled the situation. He opened his mouth to say something then hesitated before finally whispering, "Are you the parent whisperer or something?"

"What?"

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That!"

"Hyuk, what is that?!" Hakyeon yelled in a hushed tone, getting annoyed with going back and forth as it was leading them nowhere.

"That! That huge story you just made up on the fly," Sanghyuk sputtered out in the end.

Hakyeon nonchalantly shrugged sense it didn't seem like a big deal to him, "It's what happens when you've had to do it a dozen times."

"What?"

"Nothing, Hyuk," Hakyeon held onto the sides of the younger's jawline and leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips, "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," Sanghyuk waved at Hakyeon once he entered the elevators. "A dozen times?" he muttered to himself before turning in place to go back inside the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading  
> This chapter is just past the halfway point to keep you all updated on the progression of this story  
> I'm really grateful for all the kudos, subscriptions, and my first comment :)


	12. Bothered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for reuploading this chapter if you made it here before I deleted it  
> But there were some last minute changes I decided to make

Even though he already saw Sanghyuk earlier that day, Hakyeon decided to take the student out at night to give him a break from studying (and he secretly just wanted to spend some time with him). Neither of them has ever mentioned the word "date" before and Hakyeon was partially afraid of being the first to bring it up. That didn't stop him from asking the younger out, though.

"Hyung, you don't think it's too cold for this?" Sanghyuk asked as Hakyeon came back from the street with a bag of chicken in hand. They ordered the meal not too long ago and the delivery man agreed to drop it off at the nearest sidewalk.

When Hakyeon joined him again on the blanket, he set the bag down and grabbed the extra blanket they brought with them to wrap it around Sanghyuk's shoulders.

"I thought it was a pretty good idea," Hakyeon chimed as he unpacked the chicken and bottle of coke from the plastic bag and placed the box on top to keep the bag from flying away.

Sanghyuk began stuffing his face without saying another word as Hakyeon looked out to the river. There weren't that many people around them, just a few couples sprinkled here and there. Hakyeon figured it was probably because of the cold weather but he didn't mind since it gave the two a chance to be alone. He originally got the idea from Jaehwan when he asked where he should take Sanghyuk. With this being his first somewhat serious relationship, he didn't exactly know what couples like to do together and thought Jaehwan could be of help. Jaehwan suggested nighttime picnics were cute and Hakyeon agreed. So here they were.

Hakyeon leaned over, languidly resting his head on Sanghyuk's shoulder before picking up a piece to eat himself. There was only the sound of leaves rustling along the ground from the breeze and they say there and ate together. The one bottle of Coke was constantly passed between the two. It didn't help warm them up but it did a good job of complimenting the chicken.

The position Hakyeon was in gradually gave him a crook in his neck and he sat up straight again, bringing his knees up to his chest. Sanghyuk took one-half of the blanket to share the warmth with the elder and gently rubbed his knee. Before Sanghyuk had the chance to take his hand back, Hakyeon already sneakily hooked his arm around the other's. As Sanghyuk tried to pull his arm away, Hakyeon held on tighter and tighter with a coy smile as if he wasn't doing anything.

"Hyung, I need my arm back," Sanghyuk spoke up, still struggling to get his arm loose.

"I'm pretty sure you only need one hand to eat," Hakyeon countered with the smug look still on his face as he made eye contact with the younger.

Suddenly, Sanghyuk connected their lips in a kiss and Hakyeon's eyelids fluttered closed. The grip on Sanghyuk's arm loosened little by little until he was finally able to pull away.

"Ha," Sanghyuk mocked in victory and got his chest slapped by the elder. An 'ow' rolled off his lips as he rubbed the now sensitive spot, "One of these days, I'll have so many bruises that my parents are gonna notice and think something's wrong with me."

"It's my dream to mark you that much," Hakyeon teased as Sanghyuk just furrowed his brows at him. "Speaking of parents, you're such a rebel. You're supposed to be at the library right now, aren't you?" Hakyeon laughed.

"Maybe..." he mumbled and shoved another piece of chicken in his mouth to give himself an excuse not to talk.

"You know, I was a rebel too," Hakyeon placed the blanket back on Sanghyuk's shoulders as he shifted his weight back onto his hands, "In fact, you act so much like me when I was young it scares me."

"That is scary," Sanghyuk said, earning himself another slap on the chest.

"I'm serious! I was a wild child," Hakyeon commented and opened his mouth to speak again until Sanghyuk cut him off.

"Wild child? Hyung, please," the younger whined.

"Hush," Hakyeon piped and poked Sanghyuk's thigh, "It's true. I always used the library and school projects as an excuse to party and meet other guys in high school. I was trying to explore my sexuality back then."

He was met with a scowl from Sanghyuk and raised his brows in response, "What? Are you not currently doing the same?" Sanghyuk couldn't do anything except click his tongue at the comeback. "And sometimes, a lot of times we...don't judge me."

"Are you seriously asking me not to judge you at this point? I have a plug in my right now because of you," Sanghyuk stated, a little too nonchalantly for somebody talking about anal plugs out loud. However, he began to wonder what in the world was bad enough for Hakyeon to ask him not to judge him.

"Sometimes we did pot. But! Only a little every now and then," Hakyeon coughed as he looked away from the younger until he heard an exaggerated gasp come from the other.

"Damn, you were a wild child," Sanghyuk laughed and picked up one of the remaining pieces of chicken.

"Oh shut up," Hakyeon chuckled as he shook his head, "I wish it was that funny - it got me kicked out of the house."

"Wait, your parents kicked you out?" Sanghyuk repeated in shock.

"Yeah, they caught me in my room with this guy and there was smoke everywhere," he explained and brushed off a stray leaf that found its way to his lap.

"You don't seem like the type to be that careless..." Sanghyuk commented as he watched the elder's actions.

"They had already left the house, I believe they were going camping. But apparently, they had an argument or some shit and came back early," Hakyeon grumbled. The frustrations from his past stupidity started bubbling up and used the soda to push them back down.

"Oh," was all Sangyuk could utter as he looked down into his lap.

"Yup, and I haven't seen them since," Hakyeon said like it was nothing.

"And you haven't talked to them at all? No texts or anything?" the younger asked. As somebody who still lived with their parents, he couldn't imagine anybody purposefully keeping themselves away from their family. Then again, it was Hakyeon he was talking to and if anybody was capable of avoiding their family, it would be him.

"Nope, nothing."

"Don't you want to talk to them again?"

Hakyeon stayed silent this time as he reached to grab one of the last pieces of chicken. "Dammit, it's cold," he muttered after biting into the meat.

"Yeah, cause it's like a freezer out here," Sanghyuk responded as his eyes wandered to Hakyeon's lap with the quietness settling between them again.

After being with Hakyeon for so long now, Sanghyuk could easily tell what the silence meant. Especially the silence plus being ignored. Sanghyuk could bet a whole wad of money on that fact that Hakyeon more than likely wanted to see his parents again, just like he wanted to be with that Taekwoon guy, and just like how he wanted them to be together.

Hakyeon told him that he didn't know why he was the way he was but it became clearer more than ever to Sanghyuk. It was one thing to have a hypothesis though, and Sanghyuk knew he should come up with a solution. He wanted to help the elder, not just for their relationship, but to help the other with his fear and restore a sense of ease in him.

"Hyung?" Sanghyuk spoke up and caught Hakyeon's attention. The elder stared at him, waiting for him to speak, and he felt too intimidated to continue, "Uh, never mind. I forgot what I was going to say."

A small buoyant chuckle came from Hakyeon as he ruffled the younger's hair, "Silly."

The elder stayed clueless to Sanghyuk's thoughts and began organizing their trash while giving the rest of the soda to the other. Sanghyuk gulped it all down immediately and Hakyeon took the emptied container from him to go ahead and throw it away with the rest of their trash.

While Hakyeon was gone, Sanghyuk took the brief minute he had by himself to start forming ideas on what he should do for his partner. An inconceivable thought popped into his head and he contemplated if it was too absurd. He couldn't even picture how the plan would begin. He didn't have time to think about it for long since Hakyeon came back from the trash bin. Hakyeon made his appearance known by throwing himself onto the younger from behind and loosely wrapped his arms around him.

"Let me see your hands," Hakyeon demanded of him. Sanghyuk held out his hands without questioning the elder and Hakyeon took a hold of them to press them together between his palms, even though they were much larger, and heated them up.

Along with rubbing the younger's hands, Hakyeon pressed warm kisses against Sanghyuk's neck. Despite the chilly air, Sanghyuk melted under Hakyeon's touch as his eyes closed. Hakyeon's hands traveled up along Sanghyuk's arms, giving him goosebumps even while he wore several layers. The kisses on his neck trailed higher up to his sharp jaw and then to the shell of his ear.

"What do you say about us improvising, baby boy?" Hakyeon whispered in his ear, "It might help you feel warm." Hakyeon's breath against Sanghyuk's ear teased him even further and he didn't have to worry about cold anymore.

Sanghyuk desperately wanted to tell the elder yes. It was the perfect distraction from his previous thoughts and Hakyeon, himself, was too tempting for him. However, they were in public and he didn't want either of them to get in trouble, no matter how seducing Hakyeon was.

"What if somebody sees us?

The question didn't surprise Hakyeon and he refused to answer with empty promises like, 'Nobody will see us,' or, 'It'll be okay.' It was his job to make sure Sanghyuk felt secure. A few lampposts kept the area around them dimly lit but it was still possible to see quite a distance from where they were. Though, Hakyeon also noted that nobody has passed them during their picnic and he doubted anybody would.

"I'll be careful," Hakyeon said, promising as much as he could.

The response was enough for Sanghyuk since he trusted his words. "Okay, then," he consented.

Barely a second later, the blanket was gone from Sanghyuk's shoulders and the sound of his jacket's zipper echoed into the air. Layers of fabric shed from his body one by one until he was left in the simple shirt he wore underneath is all. Hakyeon tugged Sanghyuk's shirt collar to the side and dug his teeth into the back of his exposed shoulder. Sanghyuk tightly pursed his lips to keep himself from crying out or moaning or whatever it was that his body felt the urge to do.

Before he could break the younger's skin, Hakyeon pulled away and soothed the red spot with a kiss and a swipe of his tongue. His hands ventured under Sanghyuk's shirt, feeling all the goosebumps under his fingertips. "How does my baby boy feel?" Hakyeon whispered as his hands rose higher.

"I feel good, Mister- ah!" Sanghyuk's body jumped when fingers unexpectedly tickled his underarms. The last time he was tickled was in middle school and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that his partner just did it.

The younger's reaction was too cute for Hakyeon as he burst out laughing and hugged the other tightly from behind. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk was still caught off guard. He didn't even know if the scene was still in play since Hakyeon didn't punish him for moving without permission.

"What just happened?"

"Well, I was touching you but...I didn't know you'd be that sensitive there," Hakyeon couldn't contain his laughter as he responded, "I didn't mean to catch you off guard."

"You tickled me," Sanghyuk said, taking no notice to what Hakyeon just said.

"I would've licked you there, but I didn't want to taste deodorant," Sanghyuk's eyes widened at that and Hakyeon went through another wave of laughter, "Are you judging me?"

"No, Hyung, never," Sanghyuk shook his head before giving the elder a less than subtle nod.

"Oh hush," Hakyeon chuckled and handed the younger his clothes back, "It's getting late anyways, I'll drive you home."

Sanghyuk complied and rushed to put both his hoodie and jacket back on since the cold air began to hit him again. In the meantime, Hakyeon took up the task of folding the two blankets they brought with them. Sanghyuk waited for the elder to finish folding the last blanket so he could hold them instead but Hakyeon purposely ignored his attempts. With the fleece under one arm, Hakyeon took a hold of Sanghyuk's hand, intertwining their fingers, and walked off with the younger so they could head back to the car together.

* * *

 

"Hyuk, what the hell are you doing here?" Jaehwan groggily asked after looking up when he heard the front door chime, "Your shift doesn't start until hours from now. Who wants to be at work this early?"

"I needed to talk to you about something before class starts," Sanghyuk answered and looked around the parlor, only seeing Jaehwan in sight, "Where's Ravi?"

"He's out at the post office picking up a package. Why? Mother- what the hell is wrong now?" Jaehwan cried out.

"Wow you are not a morning person are you?"

"No, I'm not. I just wanna go back to bed. Now tell me what's up before I kick you out of here so I can nap," Jaehwan responded and sat down in Ravi's chair since he was too lazy to walk over to the couch.

"Do you know Hakyeon's parents?" Sanghyuk said, getting straight to the point.

"What, why, like I haven't seen them in like - wow I haven't seen them in like a decade. Wow," Jaehwan's voice stretched out as he realized how many years have passed, "Huh, I wonder how they're doing."

"Okay, but do you know them? Do you know any contact information or where they work or anything?" Sanghyuk questioned to get Jaehwan back on track. He could have sworn the older man acted like a baby in the morning.

"Well, I think I still have their numbers...but I have no idea if they changed it or anything," Jaehwan shrugged.

"You still have their numbers?" even though he asked the question, he didn't actually expect Jaehwan to keep information that old.

"Yeah, I never deleted them in case Hakyeon got himself in serious trouble and I needed them. Wait, he's not in trouble is he?" a look of panic quickly washed over his face.

"No, not really. I mean, you've met Hakyeon before, haven't you?," Sanghyuk noted, referring to Hakyeon's overall behavior, "But, no. I just wanted to see if I can get their numbers or anything."

"Why?"

"Just for reasons. Hyung just give me the numbers," Sanghyuk demanded and outstretched his hand for Jaehwan's phone.

"What are you going to do with them?" Jaehwan eyed the younger suspiciously as he ignored the palm in front of his face.

"Why are you making this a big deal?" Sanghyuk sighed and shook his hand, trying to compel Jaehwan to just give him the phone.

"Because this is about Hakyeon's parents. You probably don't even know anything about them."

"Yes, I do."

Jaehwan widened his eyes at Sanghyuk's answer, "Well if you did you wouldn't be asking for them. Even after all the shit he's done, I still haven't called his parents. That's how bad the situation has to be for you to call them."

"Hyung, no, you don't understand," Sanghyuk stressed, "He needs his parents more than anything else. I know Hakyeon has probably told you that he never wants to see them again or whatever but those numbers are important to help make things better and make him happier."

"How?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want anybody to know."

"Then you're not getting the numbers, Hyuk."

Sanghyuk crept closer to the elder, determined to get those numbers one way or another. Jaehwan could see the focus in Sanghyuk's eyes and the thought of being tossed around by somebody that big frightened him more than what Hakyeon might do to him. He scurried to get his phone out of his pocket and threw it into Sanghyuk's hand.

"Just...don't do anything stupid, please. You really don't know how fragile he is," Jaehwan warned, upset that he became easily defeated.

"I can't promise it won't be stupid, but I swear I'm gonna make him happy," Sanghyuk affirmed as he found the numbers and sent them to himself via text. Now, his next step was to hope that the number still worked.

 


	13. A Decade Gone

"Thank you so much. I'll see you then, Mr. Ch- Sir!" Sanghyuk said, ending his phone call with Hakyeon's father. He took a deep sigh hoping that the man didn't think he was weird for shouting like that. There was only one man he could call Mr. Cha.

Sanghyuk slouched down in his seat as he dropped his phone on the desk. He couldn't believe he just did what he did but it was too late to turn back now. Things surprisingly went well with speaking to Hakyeon's parents and he hoped it was a sign that everything else would go well too.

He opened up Hakyeon's contact information and his thumb hesitated over the call button. It took a few moments of getting his nerves together before he was able to actually press the button. His feet tapped nervously on the floor until the dial tone stopped.

"Hello?" Hakyeon answered.

"Hyung? Hi," Sanghyuk cursed his voice for coming out shakier than he intended.

"Hi, sweetie," Hakyeon responded in a more cheerful manner, "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I just wanted to ask you a question," Sanghyuk announced and heard soft laughter coming from the other side.

"Of course you do. Shoot."

"How do you feel about going out to dinner, say this weekend around seven pm?" Sanghyuk tried to ask with confidence.

There was a moment of silence, then laughter again before Hakyeon spoke up, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"If I say yes will you say yes?" Hyuk interjected with a cocked brow even though the other couldn't see him.

"Hyuk, I'll say yes either way. I would just like to know," Hakyeon assured and waited for the younger's answer.

"Um...then yeah it's a date," _technically it could be called a date_ , Sanghyuk thought.

Silence fell over the conversation again as Hakyeon felt suspicious of Sanghyuk's tone. The thoughts quickly left his head, however, as he figured the younger might just be embarrassed. It did, in fact, take this long for one of them to even mention the word date.

"Okay, sweetie. Where were you planning on taking me?" Hakyeon felt quite amused and ecstatic that the younger was actually planning a date with him.

"I was thinking about that place called Sun Restaurant. Have you heard of it?" Sanghyuk asked and moved from his desk over to his bed and plopped back, staring up at his ceiling.

"Hmm, I don't think I've heard of it before," Hakyeon uttered.

"Oh well, I heard the food is really good," Sanghyuk informed him. In all honestly, Hakyeon's parents recommended the restaurant since it was a place they frequented and it was also between both of their neighborhoods.

"Alright, it's a date," Hakyeon chuckled and Sanghyuk would have felt happy himself but the lie kept that satisfaction away from him. "If that's it then I have to go, okay? I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye, Hyung," Sanghyuk hung up the phone once the elder finished saying his byes.

He rolled over on his bed, burying his face into the deflated pillow. Now the steps were repeating themselves. All that was left to do anything was hope that everything else would go okay. He also had to prepare him for how mad Hakyeon would be. He could hope and pray as much as he wanted for things to go well but there was no way Hakyeon's anger wasn't going to be a variable in his plan, but either way, it would be worth it. All Sanghyuk wanted to do was see Hakyeon truly happy and he believed this was the only way.

After Hakyeon hung up with Hyuk, reality hit him and he stood there in the middle of his kitchen, not moving a muscle except his eyelids. He didn't fully know what just happened or what to do next. His assistant crept up to his side once his conversation was over and tapped his shoulder.

"Mr. Cha?"

"Hyuk?"

"What?"

"Oh sorry, Mimi, I didn't see you there," Hakyeon claimed as he put his phone in his back pocket.

"What's a 'Hyuk'? Is that the guy who you were just on the phone with?" Mimi asked as she took a step back from her boss. "Wait," she started as the corners of her lips rose inch by inch into a smirk, "You're dating a guy named Hyuk?"

"Mimi no-"

"Who's this guy that's good enough to date my oppa, huh?" she asked and folded her arms across her chest.

"The question is, why were you eavesdropping?" Hakyeon flipped the script on her.

"Cause you have a big mouth, that's why," she retorted and effectively shut him up, "And I thought you didn't date? Where did this come from? Ah, I totally need to chaperone-"

In return, Hakyeon shut her up by holding his hand over her mouth. She struggled to claw the hand off of her as Hakyeon spoke, "Can we get back to work and finish this order, please?" She nodded her head after failing to remove his hand and he finally pulled away. After spinning her back around by her shoulders, they went over to the station they were previously working at.

Hakyeon continued rolling out the sheet of fondant. When he noticed Mimi still wasn't working he put the rolling pin down to directly face her, "What, Mimi?"

"Are we sure this isn't an alternate universe, one where Mr. Cha Hakyeon is dating. Is any of this even real?"

"Oh my," Hakyeon pressed his hands against his face, not even knowing what to say to the child.

"You have to let me meet him. I've known you for like three years, we're practically family, I have to know the man who's dating my dad," Mimi took the chance to say when Hakyeon didn't respond.

"You just called me oppa and now I'm your dad? Okay fine, you know what, if it'll make you get back to work then yes, yes you'll meet him someday. Okay?"

"Okay!" Hakyeon sighed in relief after finally getting Mimi to stop talking about it and they both resumed their work on the wedding cake in front of them.

* * *

 

Finally, the day arrived when Sanghyuk found himself outside of Hakyeon's door as he prepared himself for the night that was waiting for him. He quickly crossed his fingers and wished one last time for everything to go well before knocking on Hakyeon's door. A, "Just a minute," came from the other side and he kicked his foot at the ground as he waited. Not even a minute later, Hakyeon stepped out from his apartment and greeted Sanghyuk with a smile.

"Hey, Hyuk."

"Hey," he barely uttered.

It wasn't news to Sanghyuk that Hakyeon was an attractive man. However, he's never seen the man in a button down shirt and thigh hugging dress pants and his mind went blank. The clean aroma that came from Hakyeon's body wash didn't help him gather his thoughts either.

Hakyeon snickered, clearly being able to see the effect he had on the younger as he stood there frozen. Since said younger obviously wasn't going to move by himself, Hakyeon grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the elevators and pushed him inside once it reached their floor. When the doors slid shut, Sanghyuk leaped in for a kiss only to be stopped by a palm in his face.

"Really?" Hakyeon questioned, keeping his hand up until Sanghyuk backed away.

"Sorry, I um couldn't help it," Sanghyuk responded as he leaned back against the railing.

"Obviously," Hakyeon chuckled but then gestured Sanghyuk to come back over when he calmed down. As Sanghyuk stepped closer, Hakyeon held him by his chin and leaned in for a kiss. He only went as far as to lightly nibble on the younger's bottom lip. Sanghyuk, on the other hand, let his hand travel down Hakyeon's back to softly squeeze the round flesh that was shown off so well in the slacks he was wearing.

Before the kiss could become more than what Hakyeon intended, he pulled away from Sanghyuk and nodded towards the elevator doors. Hakyeon intertwined their hands again as he led him to his car that sat in the parking lot. Once they got in, Hakyeon took off and followed the directions to the restaurant that he pulled up on his phone.

While Hakyeon felt nervous because of first date jitters, Sanghyuk was nervous because of his plan. Sanghyuk's leg wouldn't stop shaking and it could only be calmed down by Hakyeon's hand.

"You know, this really isn't going to be any different from the other times," Hakyeon said to assure him.

"Yeah..." Sanghyuk turned to the side to look out the window and suddenly the realization that there was no turning back kick in. As he felt a squeeze on his thigh, one that was supposed to help him relax, he could only feel more concerned about his plan than he did before.

The drive to the restaurant seemed too quick for Sanghyuk. He didn't even notice they arrived until Hakyeon told him for the second time to get out of the parked car. Hakyeon got out and went around the car to meet Sanghyuk on the other side so they could walk to the entrance together. They stepped into the restaurant and Sanghyuk took a deep breath before greeting the hostess.

"Um..." he looked over his shoulder to see if Hakyeon was watching him and indeed he was. Sanghyuk sighed before continuing, "I reserved a party of four under Han Sanghyuk."

"Four?" Hakyeon chimed in after overhearing him. "What, are Jaehwan and Ravi here?" he chuckled confusingly.

"Oh yes, I believe they came in not too long again. If you'll follow me, I'll show you to the table," the hostess showed them a smile as she left her podium.

"Hyuk, why is there a party of four?" Hakyeon whispered into Sanghyuk's ear but he still couldn't bring himself to answer the elder. It didn't matter anyways once Hakyeon's footsteps stopped. "Hyuk...what did you..." Hakyeon's voice trailed off as his stomach rose to his throat. It suddenly felt as if he was in a nightmare that couldn't be real. The smooth jazzy music only added insult to the agitation that was growing within him.

When Sanghyuk realized Hakyeon was no longer beside him he looked back and saw the other was completely still as if he turned to stone. "Hyung," Sanghyuk spoke softly as he approached Hakyeon cautiously.

"Don't." Hakyeon held his hand up to the younger, keeping him at a distance. From across the far side of the restaurant, he could see the two distinctly familiar faces from his past. The two faces he's been avoiding for over a decade. Now they were in the same building and all the air was taken away from Hakyeon. The only way he could breathe again was to run away.

With a quick turn on the heels of his feet, Hakyeon dashed towards the exit. Sanghyuk immediately chased after the man, ignoring all the looks that were coming from the staff and customers. He couldn't let Hakyeon get away that easily.

"Hyung! Hyung!" Sanghyuk called out to Hakyeon as they made it to the parking lot. Before Hakyeon could reach his car, Sanghyuk whipped him around by his shoulder but Hakyeon instantly slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me," Hakyeon hissed, "How could you! You lied to me!"

"Then call us even," Sanghyuk blurted out.

"What the hell? Is that what this is about?"

"No, wait, I didn't mean that. Hyung, I'm sorry. This is about making you happy again," Sanghyuk responded in a calm manner.

"Excuse me?" Hakyeon sputtered as he placed his hands on his hips, "Since when did having people I care about lie straight to my face make me happy?"

"I'm sorry, the last thing I ever wanted to do was lie to you or hurt you," Sanghyuk stated.

Hakyeon scoffed at this as he shook his head, "So if you didn't want to 'lie to me or hurt me,' why the hell did you do it?" as he continued to speak, the anger in his voice continuously raised, "How could you be so sneaky. We were just in that car and while I was excited you were just lying to me. And you knew I would hate this and that it would hurt me, that's why you fucking lied!"

Sanghyuk flinched when he heard the vulgar language spat at him. "I really didn't want to lie but the only reason why I did it because you need to talk to your parents and this was the only way that could happen," Sanghyuk surmised, the desperation he had within him becoming evident in his tone.

"Tch," Hakyeon clicked his tongue, not believing he's arguing with Sanghyuk about this. "The only thing I need to do is get out the hell out of here."

"What happened to wanting to change, Hyung?" Hyuk asked as Hakyeon walked off again, "I'm not gonna let you run away this time."

Hakyeon stopped in his tracks, his hand hovering over the handle of his car door, "Do you really think I'm going to go back in that restaurant?"

"If you don't walk in there on your own, I'm picking you up and taking you back in myself."

"If you even try to pick me up I'm never speaking to you again," Hakyeon threatened him.

Sanghyuk sighed as he hung his head, hearing what he's been mentally preparing himself to handle. "That doesn't matter because this isn't about me. Right now, I only care about you talking to your family again. You can try to deny that you don't want to see them, but Hyung, I need you to listen to me for a second."

Hakyeon stood there in the same position, still fuming, but he was also curious to hear what nonsense the younger might say. "When your parents kicked you out, I bet you felt like they no longer loved you. And because of that, you ran away and continued running away from the people who cared about you because 'if you parents could stop loving you, then anybody could,' right?" Sanghyuk deduced, even though his words may have sounded harsh.

"What the fuck is your point, Hyuk?" Hakyeon choked out as Sanghyuk opened up old scars.

"My point is I want to prove to you that they still love you and always did," Sanghyuk stepped closer and reached out to hold Hakyeon's hand. He let out a sigh of relief when the elder didn't pull back, "You can't change on your own, Hyung. I just want to help you - your parents do too."

Hakyeon so badly wanted to just be mad and stay mad. Sanghyuk's words cut deep but they were also able to soothe the hurt that Hakyeon originally felt. He looked down at his hand that was held by Sanghyuk and he could tell that the younger's intentions were pure, no matter how shady he went about pursuing them. Everything Sanghyuk said was right and he knew it, but he was nowhere near prepared to face it.  

"Please don't make me carry you in this restaurant, Sanghyuk said, interrupting Hakyeon's thoughts.

"Wait, let me just I don't know, ready myself, okay?" There was no way Hakyeon could actually ready himself. However, after going through what he just went through, he figured he could stall a little bit. Especially since he was the last one to know about everything.

Sanghyuk didn't say anything else as he rubbed the pad of his thumb against Hakyeon's hand. As much as Sanghyuk loved being cared for by his dominant partner, he also secretly cherished the moment when he could show his affections for the elder. Without Hakyeon's instructions, he didn't know if he was doing a good job or not, but he did what he could.

Minutes began to pass as they stood outside the restaurant silently. People gave them weird looks as they walked by and Sanghyuk could guess that people were probably staring at them from the inside as well. Sanghyuk didn't want to rush Hakyeon, but he felt they shouldn't leave Hakyeon's parents waiting much longer.

"Hyung...I think we should go in now," Sanghyuk quietly suggested and Hakyeon only nodded his head in agreement.

Sanghyuk held a firm grip on Hakyeon's hand to make sure he wasn't going to run off again as he led them back in the restaurant. Even though Hakyeon agreed, he still looked like he was being dragged against his will. The hostess looked at the couple in confusion but asked them to follow her back to their table nonetheless.

Hakyeon kept his head down and watched the back of the hostess' shoes. He couldn't find the strength in him to look up again, knowing what would be there if he did. Once they were brought into the dining area where he remembered seeing the face, Sanghyuk stopped for the elder and squeezed his hand. After taking a few deep breaths that barely did anything, he lifted his head and saw his parent's once again. Taking another step was near impossible as his feet became heavy and his body turned numb. Sanghyuk worriedly turned back to Hakyeon, but Hakyeon tried to reassure him that he was 'fine'. However, none of that mattered once his mother finally caught sight of the two.

Her chair nearly fell backward she hastily rose from her seat. She stared in complete disbelief that her son was finally standing in front of her after so many years. To Hakyeon, he felt like he was in a dream, but the lone tear that fell against his cheek brought him back to reality. Within a blur, Sanghyuk was left behind as the whole family themselves in each other's warm embrace once again. Hakyeon's mother clutched onto him tightly as if he would disappear again if she didn't hold on tight enough.

There were already too many tears falling amongst them for Sanghyuk to join in so instead, a proud smile spread across his face. He was so close to losing Hakyeon, but it was worth it to see him connected to his family again. To him, anything was worth helping the man he loved completely grow into the person Sanghyuk saw nowadays when they were alone. And more than anybody else, he knew Hakyeon's parents would be proud to see that person too.

"Sanghyuk?" the younger perked up when he heard his name being called and saw Hakyeon's father gesturing him to come closer.

Sanghyuk was hesitant to interrupt their moment but he couldn't ignore the repeated gestures that told him to hurry up. As soon as Sanghyuk took a step closer, he was pulled in by Hakyeon's father and he could hear his partner emit a chuckle.

"I could barely hold onto memories of that laugh," Mrs. Cha spoke as she pulled away to cup Hakyeon's round cheeks which were damp from the tears he shed, "It's unbelievable how much we've missed you, Hakyeon."

"I'm so sorry," Hakyeon whimpered, taking one of her hands from his face to place a gentle kiss on the inside of her palm.

"No, don't say that. You're here now and that's all the matters," she explained and kissed his forehead in return, thanking every god that her baby was in her arms again.


	14. Time

Hakyeon's mom kept a tight hold on his hand, refusing to let go even after her husband stated he might like his hand back. Her husband was seriously mistaken if he thought she would release her son so soon.

"How have you been?" she asked him once they were all seated at their table. The question was pretty general, too general for the situation, but it was the only thing to come to her mind and she wanted to hurry and talk to her son.

"I've been..." _good._ The answer rang in Hakyeon's head as if he was responding strangers. He lightly shook his head at himself, he couldn't treat his parents like two friendly coworkers. He probably could go that route, but he owed them more than that and instead, he let the words flow out of his mouth, "I've been lonely. If you remember Jaehwan, he's still here but..." his voice trailed off, eyes peered down at the table. Sanghyuk's face dropped at the confession as he curled his fingers into a fist, hesitant and confused as to how to comfort Hakyeon.

"It's okay," was all his mother said as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Another tear threatened to fall from Hakyeon's eyes but he blinked it away before it could land on his cheek.

Another moment of silence spread across the four of them as Hakyeon tried to gather up more courage to speak again. Sanghyuk's lips curved into a frown as he worried about his partner but was afraid to touch him too much in front of his parents. When he planned the dinner, he didn't expect what would happen and he didn't even fully believe his plan would succeed. Now that they were in this situation, the air couldn't be any thicker. However, it was Hakyeon's dad who broke the ice one again.

"Do you think you can tell us why you left?" Sanghyuk gulped at his question. There was no doubt that they asked themselves the very thing every day, so it would only make sense that they would want the answer right away.

Hakyeon, on the other hand, wasn't ready to answer that question yet, but what else could he do. His eyebrows knitted together before he let out a sigh, "I was afraid that I let you guys down so much that I lost your love. In the end, I felt it would be best to stop being a burden so you guys could live better off without me," Hakyeon cleared his throat before continuing so he wouldn't get choked up again, "Plus, it wasn't like I deserved to see you both again anyways."

The grip on Hakyeon's hand loosened from shock as his mother's eyes shifted around the whole table, trying to process what was just said. "But, we're your parents, Hakyeon. You should know that we would love you unconditionally? You're our only baby," she spoke once she made eye contact with Hakyeon again, "What we did was nothing more than just to give you a wake-up call. It was only going to be temporary and we planned on bringing you back after a few days. We needed you to get a sense of responsibility and start thinking about your future. Then when we went looking for you and found out you were gone, I was completely crushed."

Despite being hesitant before, Sanghyuk sneaked his hand over to gently pat the older man on the back of his shoulder. He had to remove his hand soon after as Hakyeon leaned back in his chair. For a brief moment, Hakyeon wondered what would have happened if he would have stayed put and waited patiently.

"Well I - I did get the wake-up call, eventually, when I finished pitying myself," Hakyeon reached into his front pocket and pulled out his wallet, taking out a copy of his business card before placing it into the palm of his mother's hand.

"What is this? Bake N Goods?" his mom inquired while reading the card.

His father peered over and read the card with her. "Wait, you're a business owner?" his father blurted out loud.

"Yeah, um, it's my bakery. I started it three years ago and it's been doing really well. Also... my best recipes are the ones you taught me," Hakyeon pursed his lips as his eyes drifted down to the table again, "I never stopped thinking about what you guys did for me."

Hakyeon's mother gasped an "Oh my gosh" as she continued to stare at the business card in disbelief. Without another word, she slipped the card into her purse. She lifted Hakyeon's chin so their eyes could meet and she saw the redness from his previous tears were gradually fading. "I was so worried, all those years, not knowing if you had a means to take care of yourself, or if you even had a roof over your head. But...oh my gosh just look at you. I'm so proud of you," she told him with sparkling eyes and even Sanghyuk couldn't contain his smile.

The big grin caught Hakyeon's mother's attention, making her laugh a bit, "Sanghyuk, right?" The youngest quickly nodded his head and answered her, reiterating that he was indeed the Han Sanghyuk that called them. "Thank you for bringing my son back to me," she said with a smile of her own.

"Oh..Oh no, Ma'am, that's not necessary," Sanghyuk objected, waving his hands in dismay, "This was something that needed to be done for him."

"Him? I'm right here," Hakyeon gently nudged Sanghyuk and held Sanghyuk's hand underneath the table instead, "But she's right, thank you, Hyuk. And I'm really sorry for earlier."

"Hyung, you don't have to have to apologize. I told you all that matters is that you're happy," Sanghyuk reassured him as Hakyeon gave his hand a squeeze.

His parents smiled at the two and his father suggested it was finally time to look at the menu since they got all the tears and such out the way. It didn't take long for the four of them to decide their orders and call a waiter over. They continued talking about Hakyeon's bakery and the schooling they found out he acquired. He shared only what he felt was necessary even though they were his parents. The conversation was finally turning to a positive note and he didn't want to ruin the mood.

When their meal came, the table went quiet as they all focused on the food in front of them. Sanghyuk didn't realize how famished he was from not eating all day - thanks to his anxiety - until the first bite entered his mouth. The same went for everybody else at the table as the warm pastas and soups were able to calm down everybody's high-strung nerves.

After sitting in the silence for a bit, Hakyeon's mother realized that they've barely acknowledged Sanghyuk or their relationship. Of course, they were bound to be focused on their son but she didn't want to ignore Sanghyuk either. "So," she spoke up after finishing a bite of her pasta, "How long have you two been together?"

Even though the question was said in a calm manner, it still shocked Hakyeon. He didn't know if they knew that he and Sanghyuk were dating but he just assumed they didn't. Then it dawned on him that his parents did, in fact, catch his kissing another boy all those years ago, it wasn't a secret that he liked guys. Thinking back, he didn't necessarily remember if they judged him for that specific act. It was so long ago and there was so much yelling, he figured they didn't agree with him being gay along with the other things he did. But now, he didn't know what to think.

"Wait, so you guys don't mind?"

"Excuse me?" his mom asked, setting her fork down.

"You guys don't care that we're together? Or that I'm..."

"Honey, we didn't care ten years ago and we don't care now. Besides, if you were trying to hide the fact that you're a couple then you guys did a poor job - it's obvious just from the way you guys look at each other," his mother remarked as the corner of her lips rose into a grin.

"Ah," Hakyeon gasped and sheepishly rubbed his nape before looking over at Sanghyuk who's ears were now red. "Well, we've been together for about a month, but we've known each other for over a year now," Hakyeon answered as his mother just nodded.

"How old did you say you were again, Sanghyuk? I know you said you were finishing your second degree," Hakyeon's father chimed in as he took a sip of his water.

"I'm twenty-one, Sir," Hakyeon saw his mother quirk her eyebrow at Sanghyuk's words.

"Twenty-one, huh? That's pretty young," she commented, keeping one eye on Hakyeon as she spun some noodles onto her fork.

Hakyeon shifted in his seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable from the judgmental stare. He had completely forgotten about the seemingly big age gap during dinner. In fact, he was thinking about the gap less and less, even though he was first attracted to his young handsome features and his innocence. Now, there were more traits he cared about in the younger and the last thing he wanted was for their relationship to be judged because of their age.

As Hakyeon cleared his throat, Sanghyuk was able to pick up on how uneasy he must have felt. He felt the need to speak up and defend Hakyeon but before he could even think of something to say, Hakyeon had already opened his mouth.

"He's actually very mature for his age. Sometimes, I promise you he acts at least twenty-five," Hakyeon chuckled wearily, trying to make light of the situation.

"Really?" Sanghyuk leaned over and whispered.

"Yes really. I don't think an immature person would be selfless enough to set all this up just to make their significant other happy. You said it yourself seeing me happy was even worth not seeing me again," Hakyeon stated with his attention was placed fully on the younger, his eyes glimmering more than before, "With all the things we've been through, you've definitely shown how mature you are. Hell, way more so than me."

"Well...you know why Hyung," Sanghyuk murmured, feeling too shy to admit his thoughts out loud with Hakyeon's parents staring at them both. It didn't help that the sudden compliments were overwhelming him.

"I know, Hyuk, me too," Hakyeon leaned closer as well and pressed a gentle peck to Sanghyuk's temple as coos came from the other side of the table, making Sanghyuk's ears burn.

"Hyung, not in front of your parents, please," Sanghyuk whispered, completely ignoring what was said and shut his eyes tightly from the embarrassment Hakyeon's kiss brought.

"You two are so cute," Hakyeon's mother commented.

"No, he's the cute one," Hakyeon retorted with slight laughter.

"Please don't start this again," Sanghyuk pleaded, only causing more laughter from the rest of the table.

The night continued on just like that, with questions about the both of them and their relationship. Some answers were vague and some were outright avoided. Fortunate enough, Hakyeon's parents didn't feel the need to press further onto those uncomfortable questions. Even when their food was long gone, their conversation kept going, having much to catch up on and learn.

However, Hakyeon decided he talked about himself enough and shifted the focus to his parents. All the years that passed hit Hakyeon in the face, as if it didn't already, after he heard his father was preparing for retirement. He didn't know whether to be disappointed with himself for missing something so huge for his dad or to just enjoy the fact that he could hear about now.

While listening to the stories his parents were telling, Hakyeon sat back in his chair and kept all three in his view. A part of him felt how foolish he's been. He missed being part of a family and the warm feeling that comes with it. And now it felt natural to include Sanghyuk as a part of his family too.

There didn't seem to be a way to thank Sanghyuk enough. Even Jaehwan never dared to plan anything like this for him. The more Hakyeon thought about how much the younger meant to him, the more his heart swelled in his chest. He wanted to cherish Sanghyuk as much as he could and he wanted Sanghyuk to know the feelings he couldn't put into words. But, if the dinner date taught him anything, it was that he knew he _had_ to let Sanghyuk know. It was just a matter of how.

Dinner lasted until they were politely kicked out by a waiter. Time flashed right before their eyes and the next thing they knew the lights in the dining area were going off section by section. Sanghyuk offered to pay for the entire bill, even though his budget didn't allow it all and neither did Hakyeon's father. After the meal was covered, they left the restaurant, being the last party to do so, and stopped right outside the entrance.

"Please, don't be afraid of contacting us again, okay?" Hakyeon's mother asked as she held onto his hand.

"I won't, Mom. I highly doubt you've told me everything you wanted to say tonight anyways," Hakyeon answered with a small smile, lightly patting the back of her hand.

"Of course not," she chuckled softly.

She quickly pulled Hakyeon in for another tight hug, making the moment linger for a bit more. The hug itself was enough to let Hakyeon know, but his mother still made sure to tell him again that she loves him. After she took a step back, his father gave him another hug as well.

"Let me know when you get home. And I hope I'll see you soon too, Sanghyuk," she sent him a gentle smile in his direction and he assured her he will.

Once his parents reluctantly finished saying their byes, Hakyeon led Sanghyuk back to the car. The keys were enclosed in his hand as he sat in the driver seat, letting everything rush to his mind at once. Things were drastically different now. His parents were back in his life and he understood he was going have to work hard to build that relationship again and maintain it. Luckily, Sanghyuk was teaching him how to do just that.

"You okay, Hyung?" Sanghyuk interjected, cutting off Hakyeon's thoughts.

"I'm perfectly fine," Hakyeon said and showed a meek smile, "Just...thank you, Hyuk."

"Can you stop thanking me?"

"But I am thankful," Hakyeon echoed, feeling slightly thrown off by Sanghyuk's question.

"I know but, it's not like I gave you free food or something. This was something I needed to do, and you needed to do this too," Sanghyuk explained.

"And I couldn't have done it without you, so I am thankful and I'm gonna be thankful," Hakyeon stated with a nod of his head before strapping himself in with his seatbelt. Sanghyuk's soft laughter easily filled his ears, quirking his lips into a grin.

"Okay, Hyung," Sanghyuk responded, not being able to say anything else after hearing that reply.

"Gosh," Hakyeon mumbled to himself as he finally started the car to pull out of the parking lot, "I hope your parents don't mind you coming home so late."

"Actually...can I spend the night at your place?"

"What? All this we just went through and you don't even want to be with your own parents?" Hakyeon asked, laughing at the irony of the situation.

"It's not that I don't want to be with my parents, I just also want to be with you," Sanghyuk blatantly said, surprising his own self with how straightforward he was, "...Cause that was an emotional rollercoaster you just went through and I need to make sure you're alright."

Hakyeon rolled his eyes at the late excuse and gave Sanghyuk a gentle pat on his thigh, "Sure, sweetie."

Sanghyuk opened his mouth to say something about being called 'sweetie' again but decided against it. Maybe next time. Instead, he turned on the radio, keeping the volume on low, so they wouldn't have to drive in silence like last time.

During the ride home, Hakyeon repeatedly stole glances at the younger just to watch him bob his head along to the music. Even watching Sanghyuk do something so nonchalant brought a fluttery feeling to Hakyeon's chest.

Without thinking about it, his hand reached out for Sanghyuk who took a hold of it without hesitation and placed their locked hands in his lap. Just the small gesture alone that let him feel the younger's slightly rougher palm against his made him take a deep breath to steady his thoughts and focus on the road. Hakyeon hoped Sanghyuk couldn't see how he was affecting him. The dim street lamps trailing the sidewalk didn't brighten up the inside of the car too much and helped bring some relief to his nerves.

It was unbelievable to Hakyeon that he was acting so jittery on the inside. He could no longer peek over at Sanghyuk or he would forget that he was driving. His palm was beginning to stick to Sanghyuk's hand but he couldn't break the contact.

Why Hakyeon was able to breathe easier just from being in the same space as Sanghyuk, why he was content with only holding hands - the answer slowly filled his thoughts. The peace within him was so calm and strong, like waves crashing against his chest, it resembled how he felt once before in his life. He didn't think it was possible for him to feel those same things ever again. If Sanghyuk didn't shift his hand against his, interlocking their fingers, Hakyeon would have sworn he was in a dream.

After what seemed like forever, Hakyeon drove up to the parking lot connected to his apartment building. More time was spent than usual looking for an empty spot since it was almost midnight. Hakyeon took his hand back to park the car and turn off the ignition, cutting off the soft music that was playing.

"Ack, you made my hand all sweaty," Sanghyuk jokingly complained and obnoxiously wiped his hand on his pants leg before taking his seatbelt off.

"Sanghyuk?"

"Yeah?"

Hakyeon freed himself of the safety belt and spent a few seconds gazing at the younger man. Sanghyuk stared back in confusion until Hakyeon approached him and pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of his lips. He didn't let himself linger there for too long. He connected their lips, ignoring the awkward position he was in, and melted into Sanghyuk as the younger cradled the back of his head in his hand. Their lips moved slowly against each other, leaving Hakyeon lightheaded.

In that moment, Hakyeon was sure of what he felt. No matter what the old him would have done, Hakyeon decided he wasn't going to hide it. He smiled into the kiss before breaking it and pulled away with glistening eyes.

"So...what was that for?" Sanghyuk asked, still keeping his fingers threaded in Hakyeon's hair.

"I..." Hakyeon started but had to pause. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath, gathering all his worries before releasing them as he exhaled and opened his eyes again to meet Sanghyuk's as the younger waited for him to speak. "I love you."


	15. Inhale, Exhale

The moment went by so fast and felt so unreal that all Sanghyuk could do was just stare at the man in front of him with disbelief. He sat there like some sort of statue frozen in time and Hakyeon couldn't help but break out into laughter which successfully snapped Sanghyuk back to reality.

"What?"

"I said I love you. Are you having hearing problems? That's what happens when you make fun of my age," Hakyeon joked, leaving Sanghyuk even more dumbfounded. The unchanging facial expression Sanghyuk wore made Hakyeon feel uneasy. _Was it too early? Was confessing in a car too unromantic?_ Not that he knew how to be super romantic in the first place.

"Um..Hello to Hyuk? You're starting to worry me," he hesitated, feeling like it was, in fact, a bad idea to open up like that.

"No, I just wasn't expecting..." Sanghyuk trailed off. The stone surrounding him finally cracked and light flooded his eyes again.

Just that fast, all the doubts Hakyeon gathered in a minute left him along with a sigh. He filled the empty gap in Sanghyuk's unfinished sentence with another sweet kiss. As their lips touched, Sanghyuk finally replied, mumbling how much he loves Hakyeon, letting warmth fill Hakyeon from the inside out and comfort him all over.

The kiss slowly became messy, partially due to their uncomfortable positions. Hakyeon swiped his tongue across Sanghyuk's lower lip just to taste a little bit of the younger. He slipped passed the now parted lips and sighed into Sanghyuk's mouth. His tongue grazed along and tasted the all too familiar areas that still excited him before brushing against Sanghyuk's. As he gripped onto the seat divider to keep from falling over, Sanghyuk's hands enveloped his waist, holding him steady while bringing himself closer.

Hakyeon pulled back, licking Sanghyuk's lips one more time before completely breaking the kiss. He rested his forehead against Sanghyuk's for a brief second then pressed a soft peck to the younger's cute and wide nose, still leaning against the armrest with his forearms.

Sanghyuk continued his staring, now in a different kind of shock, while Hakyeon was beaming at him before suddenly letting out a small chuckle.

"Can I...hear you say it again? Just to make sure I really did hear you right," he asked and Hakyeon raised his hands to cup Sanghyuk's cheeks, bringing him forward to where their noses almost touched.

"I love you. Did you hear it that time? How about now - I love you, Han Sanghyuk," Hakyeon laughed and peppered kisses all over Sanghyuk's lips.

"I love you too," Sanghyuk managed to say between the kisses with a smile as he tried to pull Hakyeon close by his waist. "But where did this come from?" Sanghyuk inquired out of pure curiosity and made Hakyeon stop his attacks.

"It came from me realizing how special you are to me and how much I need you. And..I'm going to start paying you back for all that you've done for me. I'll do the same for you too. It's the least I can do for my baby boy," Hakyeon admitted and Sanghyuk could only shake his head in response.

"There is no 'paying me back', Hyung. I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend...a good sub? But now, we can try to be good together," Sanghyuk shrugged, trying not to cringe at his own words.

Hakyeon brought his knees up to kneel in the seat, giving himself leverage to completely lean over and embrace Sanghyuk as he buried himself in the crook of Sanghyuk's neck.

"This can't be comfortable for you," Sanghyuk commented as he tried to hug Hakyeon back in his weird position.

"It's not," Hakyeon murmured but wrapped his arms tighter around Sanghyuk's shoulders.

"Don't you have an apartment not too far from here where there's lots of room for us to do this?" Sanghyuk mocked, hearing Hakyeon mumble a "shut up" before he let go while laughing.

They both exited the car, keys stuffed in Hakyeon's back pocket as he quickly went over to hop up on Sanghyuk's back. By now it was surely a habit. Sanghyuk grumbled something about Hakyeon being heavy and his back giving out one day but of course earned himself a smack on his shoulder.

"You're such a good boyfriend," Hakyeon joked, still on Sanghyuk's back during the elevator ride, "I wonder if you'll still keep that smart mouth once we're inside?" He meticulously threaded his hand through the younger's hair, watching the brown strands split between his fingers before gripping them to yank Sanghyuk's head back so his ear came closer to his mouth. "Hmm?"

Sanghyuk's Adam's apple bounced in his throat as he swallowed harshly, "No..." His voice was clear, though a little shaky, just so he wouldn't have to repeat himself.

"Good."

As the numbers slowly went up one by one, Hakyeon pressed his cheek against Sanghyuk's shoulder and inhaled the scent of the cologne that was starting to wear off, feeling like all his senses could be filled by Sanghyuk alone.

The elevator finally lifted them to the right floor and Hakyeon whispered his passcode to the younger man so he can open the door for them. Once inside, Hakyeon jumped down from Sanghyuk's back as easily as he jumped on and closed the door securely behind them. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk plopped himself down on the couch, holding him stomach as he groaned about how full he was.

Hakyeon chuckled at Sanghyuk's silliness before gesturing him to come closer, "Follow me, sweetie."

Sanghyuk hesitated for a second as he wondered if Hakyeon was suggesting something. Just in case he was, Sanghyuk sprung to his feet to catch up with the older man. By the time he did, Hakyeon was in his dresser drawer, shuffling through various sweatpants and t-shirts.

"I'm pretty sure all my pants can fit you...but I'm not too sure about the shirts," Hakyeon said when he heard the younger enter the room. He pointed to a few lounge clothes he had laid out across the bed, "Choose one."

"This is it?" Sanghyuk replied and Hakyeon lifted his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you wanted to.." Sanghyuk coughed instead of embarrassing himself any further but Hakyeon understood what he was trying to say and snickered to himself.

"I forget how impatient you are. We're really going to have to work on that more," Hakyeon spoke nonchalantly like he was a teacher critiquing his student. "Choose one, then meet me in the bathroom," he finished and walked out of the room, feeling Sanghyuk's eyes peering holes into the back of his head.

Sanghyuk's mouth hung ajar and lost himself in the thought of showering together with Hakyeon and his beautiful, glowing, tan body. Before he could start drooling on himself, he turned around to face the clothes Hakyeon laid out for him. He decided to go with a random pair of sweatpants and what looked like the biggest t-shirt on the bed and. The sound of the running water in the bathroom across the hallway echoed into the bedroom and Sanghyuk rushed to fold the rest of the clothing option before putting them back in their respective drawers.

Sanghyuk fumbled around and struggled with the buttons on his dress shirt and cursed at them. "Fuck being patient," he sputtered to himself and finally got the damned piece of clothing off, nearly ripping one off. He undid his belt and slipped out of his pants, after barely unzipping them, his boxers, and whatever other piece of clothing he cursed at.

After he was completely stripped down, he folded his own clothes as neatly as he could in his rushed stated and placed them on an empty space on top of dresser. It then dawned on him that this whole process could have gone easier if he just undressed in the bathroom. Whatever, it was too late for that and _finally_ he made his way over to the shower. No matter what, he still felt shy about walking around naked in Hakyeon's apartment, even if it was just crossing the small space that could hardly be considered a hallway.

Sanghyuk opened the door, a burst of steam hitting him in the face, and took a step inside. He could see Hakyeon's fuzzy silhouette from behind the frosted glass, clearly undisturbed from the entrance. He just stood there, ignoring his appearance, and continued soaking underneath the running water.

If it was possible, Sanghyuk could watch the way Hakyeon gracefully glided the lathered sponge across his body all night. Even through the blurry shadow, the bewitching man's figure was still very apparent and Sanghyuk could probably trace the outline of it with his finger by heart.

"Can you get your ass in here already?" Hakyeon shouted over the sound of the water, making Sanghyuk jump slightly.

"Nah, I think I'm going to work on being 'patient' like you said."

The shower door slid back and all Sanghyuk saw was Hakyeon's head peeking from the other side. Hakyeon's eyes immediately landed on him and Sanghyuk could sense fire coming from behind them. Without needing to hear another word, Sanghyuk quickly joined Hakyeon in the shower.

"This is much better," Hakyeon sighed and draped his arms around Sanghyuk's neck, pulling him down to place a chaste kiss on his lips, "So much better."

It was hard to differ if Hakyeon was alluding to him finally joining the shower or maybe something else. Deciphering that was no longer important to Sanghyuk as Hakyeon wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk's torso, pressing his nose into his chest. Sanghyuk returned the embrace and gently rubbed his hands over Hakyeon's back that's slick from the water. A citrus smell lingered around his nose and he realized the elder must have already washed him hair.

So he can wash up as well, Sanghyuk picked Hakyeon up by his waist and switched positions with him. In all honestly, Hakyeon standing there fully naked in the shower was one of the most, if not the most, tempting sights he's ever seen. However, he's heard shower sex isn't that great for several reasons and he wasn't not in the mood to experience them first hand and from the looks of it, neither was the elder.

What Sanghyuk wasn't expecting was how intimate simply washing up with the man would still be. Hakyeon took it upon himself to help clean Sanghyuk's back and even lather his hair with the same citrus shampoo. Sanghyuk didn't know why, but it was all so relaxing to him and he felt close to the elder without needing to say a word. Maybe because the shower could barely fit the two of the together, or maybe it was because Hakyeon repeatedly let his fingers dance over Sanghyuk's sensitive back. Either way, Sanghyuk figured it was probably best not to question things.

When their fingers started to resemble prunes Hakyeon decided it was time to leave the shower. Sanghyuk turned off the water while Hakyeon went to grab them towels.

After Sanghyuk stepped out, Hakyeon wrapped a towel around his hips, waiting for him to take a hold of it before letting go, then Hakyeon began drying himself off. Sanghyuk kept the towel on his hips and air dried instead as he took Hakyeon's towel, shimmying the piece of cloth from side to side around his arms and shaking him in the process.

"Can you stop?" Hakyeon laughed out though he didn't make an effort to stop the younger.

"Awe - Well...actually sure," was all Sanghyuk said as he thought of a better plan.

Hakyeon was a bit dumbfounded, he didn't actually expect Sanghyuk to stop. However, he ignored it and began drying his hair. Just when Hakyeon wrapped the towel around his waist to go grab his clothes, Sanghyuk picked him up over his shoulder and casually left the bathroom.

"Hyuk! What are you doing?" Hakyeon shouted and slapped Sanghyuk's ass multiple times since it was the only thing he could do in his position.

"I'm carrying you?" Sanghyuk stated like it wasn't blatantly obvious already.

"Well put me down!" Hakyeon yelled but failed to keep a serious tone in his voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Hyuk just put me down!" Hakyeon kicked his legs around and Sanghyuk had to hold them still to protect himself.

"Really?"

"Han Sanghyuk, I swear if you don't put me down right now there's gonna be a lot of things you'll have to explain to your parents tomorrow."

"Alright, if you say so."

In the next split second, Hakyeon was lifted from Sanghyuk's shoulders, tossed onto his own bed as Sanghyuk just stood aside and watched him bounce on the mattress with springs creaking under his weight. Hakyeon immediately looked up and narrowed his eyes at the younger as he tried to hide his devious smile behind his hand.

The grin quickly faded off Sanghyuk's face when he saw a flame flicker in Hakyeon's eyes. His breathing got caught in the middle of his throat, struggling to escape, before Hakyeon even moved. The next thing he knew the towel was thrown aside and his back was slammed into the same mattress where he threw the other man. Hakyeon straddled his stomach, restraining his wrists above his head and he felt a tight grip on his not so limp dick. He could easily free his hands and flip them around and overpower Hakyeon if he wanted to, except, that wasn't his place.

"Do you really want to end today with a punishment?"

The only thing Sanghyuk could actually do in the moment was shake his head and utter a 'no sir' which Hakyeon would have accepted if the younger wasn't curling his lips to hide a mischievous smirk. Hakyeon's fingers tightened around Sanghyuk's shaft and gave it a harsh tug that made the younger yelp, forcing himself to keep his hips down.

"Now, are you going to be a good boy for me, or should I continue?" Hakyeon practically sang, letting every word settle with Sanghyuk.

"No, no, I'll be good," Sanghyuk croaked and slowly a long sigh when the grip on his dick let up.

Hakyeon hummed in approval as he slid his hand down from Sanghyuk's wrists that were red from the tight hold to his cheek. His fingertips danced along the edges of his sharp bone structures as his thumb pushed into Sanghyuk's pillow soft bottom lip. Sanghyuk's eyes, already shaky underneath Hakyeon's focused gaze, shifted between the thumb Hakyeon before he parted his lips and hesitatingly licked his thumb before taking it in his mouth.

"Look at my lil' baby boy being so sexy," Hakyeon cooed, watching the way the younger's lips wrapped around his digit as he sucked on it before pulling his thumb away.

"But," Sanghyuk started once he had his mouth to himself again, "You're the one who's always sexy. Especially now."

And with that, Hakyeon's brain came to a halt. How was he to respond to those words? It wasn't often, rare in fact, that Sanghyuk would send compliments his way, but now he heard through Sanghyuk's own mouth that he thought of him as sexy. He tried to put himself back together and fixed his mouth to say something as his eyes shifted back and forth but it failed every time.

Sanghyuk let a laugh slip through since Hakyeon didn't appear to be picking up the pieces of his visibly shattered demeanor anytime soon. Even Hakyeon couldn't contain his own grin after seeing Sanghyuk's eyes crinkle up on the edges, showcasing just how cute he can be. Sanghyuk held the older man in his arms and pressed their bodies together as their curves meld seamlessly into each other. Hakyeon tussled his fingers in Sanghyuk's still wet hair before stroking his fringe back to reveal his shiny forehead which changed the younger's face from cute to well... sexy again. He immediately dropped the fringe, surprised by the almost instant change, and saw a wide circular damp stain spreading across his sheets under Sanghyuk's head. A sudden slap came across Sanghyuk's chest, a reaction more than discipline, and nearly caused him to yelp in pain.

"You didn't even dry your hair and now my bed's all wet. Look at this mess."

"Who's fault is that?"

"Shut up. And it's still technically yours."

It was Hakyeon's turn to laugh now as he rolled off Hyuk and laid on his side to face the younger. Sanghyuk turned on his side as well like it was an automatic response and he met the eyes staring back at him like little drops of Sun that were illuminating the entire room. Without realizing it, he mirrored the older man's bright smile and let his presence alone encompass him.

On the other side of the bed, Hakyeon felt himself fall into a dreamlike trance as he stared into Sanghyuk's deep brown eyes. Everything was all so foreign and different to Hakyeon that it didn't feel real anymore like it was all a mirage that would go away once everything cooled down. Instead, Sanghyuk joined Hakyeon's dream as their legs tangled together, connecting the two.

Hakyeon raised his hand to brush his thumb against Sanghyuk's arm, feeling how smooth it was from the recent shower. His body seemed to move on its own as he held onto Sanghyuk's tricep and pulled him closer. He breathed in Sanghyuk like before while he ran his fingers through the damp strands of hair.

Sanghyuk's hand rested on Hakyeon's hip like it belonged there to keep him close and he could feel the warmth of Hakyeon's bare torso radiating against his own. A spot on his collarbone burned hot from where Hakyeon placed a soft kiss. The kisses trailed up to his shoulder, heating Sanghyuk from the inside out. Hakyeon's lips were sweet and slow against Sanghyuk's skin, sending small shivers down his spine. When Hakyeon pulled away to look up at Sanghyuk again, he could visibly see how content the other was just from the way his eyes sparkled. His thumb brushed against the younger's defined cheekbone, feeling familiar with the outlines of Sanghyuk's face.

While the details of Sanghyuk reflected in Hakyeon's eyes, Sanghyuk could only see himself on Hakyeon's lips. All it took was for him to lean in a bit closer to complete the picture. Hakyeon's fingers ghosted under Sanghyuk's jaw as their lips followed the pattern of moving slowly and lazily. There was an unspoken exchange of words that the kiss was able to deliver to the both of them.

Hakyeon's hand continued exploring the rest of Sanghyuk's body that he knew so well from his nipples down to his exposed side and waist, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps wherever his fingers went.

By now, both of them could feel a shift in the air. Everything moved in slow motion as Sanghyuk immersed himself with every move Hakyeon made and Hakyeon the same. It felt as if their hearts were pounding together in sync.

Hakyeon broke the kiss as he gently pushed Sanghyuk back against the bed and climbed back on top of him, settling in between his thighs. Before pulling away completely, he left a few irresistible pecks on Hyuk's lips then sat back on his heels. Sanghyuk peered up at him, curiosity filling his eyes as he watched with interest.

From the new position, Hakyeon gripped Sanghyuk's thighs that he adored so much. His hands went down to brush against the back of Sanghyuk's knees and he heard a soft airy gasp come from the younger. Hakyeon was pleased with the response and that he was able to learn something new about Sanghyuk.

More kisses were trailed up Sanghyuk's stomach and to his chest, but not without paying special attention to his buds and caused him to arch his back just slightly. Sanghyuk's arms were raised over his head and he let his eyes close, slowly slipping into the submissive state he's been acquainted with. Hakyeon paused to watch the way Sanghyuk's chest stuttered and the way his breath escaped his lips.

Hakyeon could stop and admire the sight underneath him all night if he wanted to. He wanted to familiarize himself with every dip and curve on Sanghyuk's body and know how Sanghyuk would react if he were to touch every dip and curve. There was one reaction Hakyeon was highly curious of as he lowered himself again to kiss the edge of Sanghyuk's underarm.

"Hyung...this again?" Sanghyuk grumbled but kept his eyes closed and his arms folded above his head.

Hakyeon let out a bit of chuckle and rubbed Sanghyuk's hip in an attempt to soothe him, "I'll stop if you tell me it doesn't feel good."

"It feels weird," Sanghyuk murmured with his eyes now on the elder.

"That's not the same thing," Hakyeon responded and returned to what he was doing and trailed his tongue along the same spot he kissed.

Sanghyuk whined softly but didn't openly protest so Hakyeon continued. All Hakyeon wanted to do was trigger Sanghyuk's senses as he rubbed his thumb against Sanghyuk's underarm. The way Sanghyuk squirmed underneath him urged him on even more. Just to play with the younger, Hakyeon traced his tongue along the curve of Sanghyuk's underarm, ignoring the thin hairs in the way and felt Sanghyuk jerk his arm a bit.

Sanghyuk kept mumbling about how nasty and weird all of it was. Once again, Hakyeon had him questioning himself, wondering just how weird he was for liking it even a little.

"How do you... How are you...so good at this?" Sanghyuk managed to make himself to say. It was more of a statement than a question but it brought a grin to Hakyeon's face either way. "Are we doing a scene today?"

Hakyeon leaned back again and pondered Sanghyuk's question for a moment. Already seeing Sanghyuk look so submissive and ready was tempting but he figured there was no need for it, not today.

"No, let's just stay like this."

Hakyeon left Sanghyuk on the bed and went to turn the lights off, knowing in a while he'd be too lazy to do it later. The light from the hallway seeped into the room, lighting it up enough for them to still see each other.

While he was up on his feet, Hakyeon fetched the bottle of lube from his nightstand, tossing it beside Sanghyuk. In the meantime, Sanghyuk busied himself with taking off the joggers and just as he was about to take off his boxers, Hakyeon stopped him.

"What did I say about patience?" Hakyeon simply asked. This time, Sanghyuk held eye contact with the elder as if he was challenging him and shoved his boxers off his hips. He wasn't submitting, he could do whatever he want.

Hakyeon rolled his eyes at the younger before crawling onto the bed to make his way over to Sanghyuk. "Don't make me spank you," he quipped and tried to turn Sanghyuk onto his stomach.

"No! No!" Sanghyuk laughed into the air and pressed his ass back into the bed, surprised at how strong Hakyeon actually was.

Hakyeon left a few light smacks on Sanghyuk's hips until he was stopped as Sanghyuk held him to his chest. Their noses bumped against each other and their eyes glistened as laughter escaped them.

Sanghyuk took the chance to run his fingers through Hakyeon's short hair this times. He lifted his head, meeting Hakyeon's lips with a quick kiss before relaxing against the mattress. Hakyeon rid himself of his own briefs, despite what he told Hyuk and settled back in his previous position.

With the lube he placed on the bed, Hakyeon coated his fingers thoroughly and began stretching Sanghyuk one by one. Hakyeon paced himself, taking the time to cover Sanghyuk's body with more of his warm kisses.

Sanghyuk tried to focus on Hakyeon's sweet lips as he was stretched further. He reached to grab anything to help him get over the burn of the two fingers and Hakyeon held his wandering hand, intertwining their hands before squeezing tight.

Their hands stayed locked together even after Hakyeon finished his preparations. He struggled a bit to pump more lube into his free hands but succeeded anyway and coated his member with it. With one more kiss, their lips moving deeply against each other, Hakyeon entered Sanghyuk but stalled to move anymore. Even though the kiss was broken, Hakyeon kept his forehead connected to Sanghyuk's as he waited for any signal to continue.

The signal came when Sanghyuk clutched onto the back of Hakyeon's shoulder with his free hand and raised his hips up. Hakyeon's movements started off slow, drawing heavy gasps from the younger as he took his time. Hakyeon quickly became immersed by how tight and hot Sanghyuk was around him.

Hakyeon's chest moved against Sanghyuk's as they breathed with the same faltered rhythm. The pain Sanghyuk felt before melted into pleasure as he fell into a bliss that only Hakyeon was able to pull him into. Neither of them ever felt more close to the other and Sanghyuk was addicted to the feeling. He wanted more of Hakyeon, to be closer and deeper.

Hakyeon's hips rolled against Sanghyuk's, not bothering to find that one spot in order to draw out their moment. The way Sanghyuk squeezed around him and the moans that finally pushed past his lips sent Hakyeon to a different place entirely. The eyes full of need that stared back at him made him recognize that Sanghyuk would probably be the only one to ever affect him like that.

Hakyeon held himself back from chasing after the noises that Sanghyuk made, as precious as they were, and kept his thrusts at the same steady pace. Sanghyuk shut his eyes tightly and threw his head back into the mattress, frustrated that Hakyeon won't give him more despite the soft begs he uttered. Even if Hakyeon gave it to him, he could still never have enough. Hakyeon took advantage of Sanghyuk's now exposed neck and sucked on his Adam's apple before nipping along the sensitive areas that he knew Sanghyuk liked best.

It didn't take long at all for them to lose themselves in each other. Sanghyuk's only need consisted of Hakyeon and Hakyeon couldn't think of anything else except pleasuring the younger. Hakyeon held Sanghyuk's hand tightly as he leaned over to graze his lip's against Sanghyuk's.

With a single breath, Hakyeon whispered his confession to the younger, letting Sanghyuk inhale it and keep it with him for as long as he can.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed reading
> 
> twt: @taekwoncheeks


	16. Of Cakes and Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry sorry for this long update  
> At first I was just burned out, and then it became me being too physically exhausted to do anything  
> And then I had to rewrite this whole chapter for about a week to make sure it was respectful in its sense  
> So I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and forgive me

The tattoo parlor was going through one of its midday slow spells. Ravi had finished off his last client about an hour ago. Since then, he and Jaehwan had started working on the assistant's tattoo practice like they usually do whenever there's spare time. Apparently, Hakyeon wasn't busy either since he was spending his time lounging on the leather couch, eating a salad he bought for himself when he should have made it back to the bakery by now. He offered the other two a share of his meal but the other two didn't want to partake in his health kick.

Suddenly, the front door's bell rang, snapping all their attention away from their activities. Ravi had his fingers crossed that it was finally another client but it was only Sanghyuk bum-rushing through the door.

"Hyuk, what the hell-"

"Ravi!"

"It's Hyung, H-"

"I quit!"

"What?!" all three of the other men in the parlor chimed in unison.

"What do you mean you quit?" Ravi asked, finally getting his first sentence completely out.

"Well, you remember that interview I did like two weeks ago, right?" Sanghyuk reminded him as well as anybody else who may have forgotten. Nobody else could forget since he talked about it every day.

"Yeah, for that internship thingy? What about it?"

"Paid full-time internship," Hakyeon butted in, fully correcting Ravi who snubbed his nose at him.

"Yeah well, I've been accepted! And I start next week!" Sanghyuk exclaimed, a huge grin stretching across his whole face.

"Whoa way to go, Hyuk!"

"Congratulations, sweetie."

"Okay...but you need to give me a two weeks' notice, Hyuk," Ravi responded, breaking the cheerful atmosphere.

"Hmm...how's this for a two weeks' notice? In two weeks, my ass won't be here," Sanghyuk jeered and somewhere in the background, Jaehwan broke out laughing. As a scowl graced Ravi's face, Sanghyuk came to stand beside him, firmly placing his hand on Ravi's shoulder, ignoring that the man was trying to shrug it off.  "I mean, thank you for giving me my first real job and everything, but it's time I moved on to greener pastures, you know?"

It took a strong push for Ravi to finally remove the insulting hand from his shoulder and he raised an eyebrow at the younger, "What? Is working here not good enough or something?"

"No offense, Ravi-"

"Hyung."

"-but I don't think working at a tattoo parlor under 'bookkeeper' is gonna land me a job in a corporate office."

While Ravi stood there, mouth agape and clearly taking full offense, Hakyeon brought it upon himself to pull Sanghyuk in a tight hug to lighten the atmosphere. Sanghyuk more than gladly wrapped his arms around the elder's slim frame, nearly lifting him off the ground like they were on cloud nine.

"Anyways... I'm so proud of you, Hyuk," Hakyeon praised before raising his hands to cup Sanghyuk's face, pressing a lingering kiss on his cheek, "What did I tell you? I knew there was nothing for you to worry about."

"Thanks, Hyung. I guess you are right sometimes," Sanghyuk joked but was sincere nonetheless and it showed as the smile from before grew just slightly and after hearing Hakyeon's words, the light in Sanghyuk's eyes brightened even more.

"Like Hyuk should ever worry about anything," Jaehwan commented as Hakyeon pulled away from the youngest, "I think I speak for everybody when I say that Hyuk is like the most awesome kid ever. You know what I was doing when I was your age?"

"Um...drugs?" Sanghyuk's shoulder stung from the hand that came flying across it.

"Excuse you, I was not the druggie amongst us."

"Drugs?"

"Shh, Ravi, don't worry your head about it. What the hell was I even saying... Oh yeah, I was struggling to just pay the bills for my roof 'apartment' at your age. I was living on the roof!"

"Ooh, that's rough." Hakyeon slowly nodded his head to Sanghyuk's words, recollecting the past memories of when he had to help Jaehwan sell commissions to make ends meet.

"Yeah, tell me about it. But enough about that! My point is - you're doing really good for yourself, Hyuk," Jaehwan flashed him a reassuring smile as he leaned over on his desk.

"Man," Ravi sighed as he gave Sanghyuk a pat on his shoulder this time, "I know I gave you some shit-"

"Some?"

"Can - you - let me - fucking - talk," Ravi protested through his teeth with eyes shut tight from frustration. Everybody else in the room chuckled quietly for a second then quickly shut up before they could get scolded. "As I was saying, I'm proud of you too. Just keep up the good work and I know you'll go far."

"Awe, Ravi, that's so sweet. Who knew you could be so sensitive?" Hakyeon cooed as he went back to his seat, bringing his knees up to his chest due to the swelling in his heart from the sentimental moment.

"Oh fuck off," Ravi scoffed and pushed Hakyeon's knees, making him fall over on his side. Since he was basically asking for it, Hakyeon fought back and kicked his leg in Ravi's direction, but he was able to dodge it just in time.

In the meantime, while the two business owners fought like kindergarteners, Jaehwan made his way over to Sanghyuk and gave him a gigantic bear hug, nearly squeezing the breath out of the younger but much larger man. Sanghyuk could only laugh, both at the hug that was slowly killing him and at everything in general.

All at once, for the first time, Sanghyuk thought about how glad he was that he accepted Jaehwan's job offer over a year ago. He couldn't imagine his life not currently having a brawl fight in it, or a friend he thought of as an older caring brother, or, especially, Hakyeon. Even though he knew the internship would be "better" for him, it wouldn't be the same as working in the tattoo parlor.

Somehow, at some point, nobody could say when, Ravi started kneeing Hakyeon in the butt and Sanghyuk had to quickly pull away from Jaehwan to finally break up the fight. "Ravi, guys seri- guys stop! Seriously, I need my boyfriend and his ass intact- Ow! You kicked me!"

* * *

 

What was possibly the most delicious and moist chocolate cake Sanghyuk had ever claimed to taste sat right on Hakyeon's counter, just waiting for him to enjoy it. Hakyeon had everything planned to help celebrate the student's internship, starting with his favorite cake made from love in the Bake N' Good kitchen. It was a big step for the student and Hakyeon had to send him off properly.

The knife easily cut through the spongy cake and Hakyeon placed the small slice onto his plate. He walked back into the dining room where his baby boy was patiently waiting for him, bare and kneeling on the floor with his hands placed on top of his knees. Without paying Sanghyuk any attention, Hakyeon set the plate down on the table and sat in the dining chair facing outwards before gesturing Sanghyuk to get up and take his place in Hakyeon's lap. Hakyeon took the blindfold, also placed behind him on the table, and brought it up to Sanghyuk's eyes, cutting off his vision completely.

 "I'm going to feed you now," Hakyeon warned and picked up the plate again, "Open up."

Sanghyuk obediently held his mouth open for the forkful of chocolate cake. Out of all the scenes he's done with Mr. Cha, this was by far his favorite.

Hakyeon carefully slipped the cake passed Sanghyuk's lips, red and swollen from their earlier kisses. "Good boy, just like that," he praised and slowly pulled the utensil back out to scoop up another piece.

The soft and fluffy cake melted on Sanghyuk's tongue and he hummed at the taste. It was no wonder why Hakyeon's bakery took off the way he's always claimed it did. He willingly opened his mouth again, awaiting more of the delicious dessert.

"I'm so proud of you baby, really," Hakyeon emphasized as he fed the younger again, "There was no doubt in my mind that you would get the position."

As Sanghyuk continued chewing, he tried not to smile so hard from Hakyeon's words. There wasn't anybody else who was as encouraging as Hakyeon when he was studying for his interview. Even his parents didn't help as much. Not only was he encouraging, but he spent time with Sanghyuk to practice mock interviews and go over important questions since he had the experience as both a student and a boss. To Sanghyuk, it felt as if he owed the whole position to Hakyeon and Hakyeon alone.

Now, Hakyeon was giving him the best congratulatory gift he's ever received. It would probably top future gifts as well, and they just started.

Hakyeon chuckled to himself as he gazed upon Sanghyuk's lips with the inner corners slightly quirked up into a smile he was poorly trying to contain. After feeding the younger once more, Hakyeon set the fork back on the plate to reach around and pat Sanghyuk on his bum. There was no hiding how pleased he was feeling himself knowing that his baby boy was happy and doing well.

An idea popped into Hakyeon's head when he reached to grab the fork again. Instead of picking up the cake, he slowly dragged the metal tongs down from Sanghyuk's sternum across his chest. Sanghyuk's lips fell open at the surprising touch and Hakyeon took that as a chance to increase the pressure, leaving red trails behind the utensil as he dragged it down his skin all over again. Sanghyuk bit into his bottom lip as he concentrated on keeping himself still from the pleasurable pain.

Hakyeon took the fork in his own mouth and ran his tongue all over it before he blew cold air onto the metal. He pressed the smooth surface flat against Sanghyuk's nipple and listened as the younger sucked in a bit of air from the stimulation as his head lolled backward. The cold, wet metal grazed across Sanghyuk's sensitive bud and was taken away as it warmed up. Hakyeon cooled it down with his breath again before repeating his actions with the other nipple.

The utensil clattered against the small glass dish once Hakyeon got rid of it. His hands rested on Sanghyuk's thighs. He could never waste a moment to appreciate them.

"Tell me what you want to do, baby boy."

"Huh? What I want?" Sanghyuk echoed, confused about what was going on in Hakyeon's head.

"Mhm," Hakyeon hummed, "Anything you want. Today, I want to celebrate what you've done so we can do whatever you want." As he talked, his fingers caressed the younger's bare skin, coaxing him to speak.

For a split second, Sanghyuk thought if this is what he gets for landing an internship then what could possibly happen on his birthday? "Ah, um, well I...want to try out the new vibrator you bought. And...I actually want to see you naked this time."

Before he opened up his mouth to speak again, a wave of apprehension washed over him. Hakyeon was just watching him and listening to him intently and it suddenly became too much for him in that space. He covered up his embarrassment with laughter and hid half of his face behind his hand.

 A second later he felt a squeeze on his ass that perked him up again. "You're going to have to speak up or else you won't get anything," Hakyeon warned him.

"Okay," Sanghyuk sighed and lowered his eyes down to the tip of Hakyeon's nose, hoping that was close enough to looking at him directly, "There's this scene I've kinda been fantasizing about - where you're edging my release until you decide when I can have it as you're touching yourself, teasing me. I'm watching you touch yourself, masturbating, while you're teasing me, no wait, edging my release until you decide when I can have it."

 A smirk furtively stretched its way onto Hakyeon's lips. He could already envision the words as it became his own fantasy. "Are you sure? Is that all?"

"Yes... No no no, I need to finish that cake too."

"Of course," Hakyeon laughed and pulled Sanghyuk closer by his hips, "Well that all sounds good to me."

He caught the younger's lower lip between his teeth and tugged on it before letting it go to share a kiss with him. Sanghyuk's hands curled within themselves, itching to take a hold of Hakyeon's waist, but he controlled himself for the time being. The kisses traveled down to Sanghyuk's shoulder, letting the smooth skin glistened with a thin layer of his saliva. His baby boy's wide built was just another aspect that Hakyeon constantly marveled at. The only thing that could possibly make his shoulders more admirable were the deep red marks that he covered them with.

As Hakyeon claimed Sanghyuk as being his and his only, a bit of the control that Sanghyuk had a moment ago slipped through his fingers. He slowly ground his hips into the elder's lap, hoping he could get away with receiving some sort of relief, even though the rough friction was almost too much. Almost.

"Huh," Hakyeon chimed as he pulled away from the younger's collarbone. Right then, Sanghyuk learned stealth was not his forte. "I didn't know my baby boy was so needy today."

"I-I couldn't help it, you were just making me feel so good," Sanghyuk spoke, feigning a sense of naïveté while his words were laced with sass.

Just that fast, Sanghyuk let out a yelp that he wasn't able to contain as Hakyeon pinched and twisted the skin inside his thigh. "You and I both know that I haven't done anything to warrant you acting like this. Now, should I leave you here to keep acting like a slut, or do you actually want to do the things you said earlier?"

The innocent act was immediately dropped. It was Sanghyuk's first time hearing anything like that come from the elder's mouth. He obviously wasn't new to being threatened. While he thoroughly enjoyed pleasing Hakyeon, there was still something exciting about testing him and seeing how far he can go. (Sanghyuk learned just how far his limit was after receiving his first punishment recently after pushing his way through too many warnings). Now, Hakyeon helped him find something else that was just as thrilling.

Sanghyuk didn't even have to answer the other. It was evident how Hakyeon's words made their way from his ears, down to his shaft, and caused it to twitch against his stomach. Hakyeon lifted the younger off his lap by his hips - with some help from Sanghyuk himself - and settled him down on only one thigh, planning to have some fun with him.

His grip on Sanghyuk's hips stayed strong as he helped him grind against his thigh. He rested against the back of his chair, watching the way Sanghyuk moved on top of him. It was truly a sight to see. Sanghyuk towered over him and could easily engulf his frame, but Hakyeon was the only one who could have him act so small.

"I wonder what the others would say if they saw what an eager lil' slut you are," Hakyeon mused as he reached to squeeze Sanghyuk's ass once more.

Sanghyuk threw his head back, more out of frustration than pleasure, and kept rolling his hips the way Hakyeon had them. "Can you just fuck me already - please?"

The "request" was immediately rejected with a shake of Hakyeon's head. "I gave you the chance to say what you want to do. You should have said that you wanted me to fuck you." A pointless whine drawled out from Sanghyuk. He should have added more to the list.

Hakyeon absentmindedly tapped his forefinger on Sanghyuk's wet slit as he ignored the whine. He momentarily watched the small bead of precum stretched between his digit and the tip before addressing the other. "Go be a good boy for me and get your cuffs and wait in the bedroom."

"Yes, sir." Sanghyuk hesitated then stood up from Hakyeon's lap to follow instructions.

As Hakyeon got up himself, he spotted a small white stain on his slacks and managed to partially wipe it off with his thumb. He gathered the plate with the fork and half eaten slice of cake that sat atop it and brought it into the kitchen. The remaining piece of cake went back into the box it came from and the dishes clattered in the sink. He quickly washed his hands before drying them and went to meet Sanghyuk in the back.

There he was, kneeling on the mattress like how he was before except with brown leather cuffs now decorating his wrists. Hakyeon stepped towards him and lifted his hands, admiring the way the gold colored metal compared to the younger's complexion.

"I wonder how you would look with a matching collar," Hakyeo commented out loud to nobody in particular as he traced the inner fleece lining with his thumbs.

"Were you thinking about buying one for me...or you, us?" Sanghyuk thoughtlessly spoke.

Sanghyuk's hands pliantly fell back to his knees once Hakyeon let go of them. He tensed up at the feeling of Hakyeon's palm now against his neck. The elder wasn't holding his neck, just gently brushing his thumb in the juncture underneath his jawline, but something told him he might be in trouble.

"Us. It would be nice to see you with one and if you like the idea then yes, I will buy one."

Sanghyuk let out a sigh of relief when Hakyeon took his attention away from his neck. A sigh that was cut short by the loud slap across his outer thigh.

"I wasn't planning on punishing you today, baby boy, but you need to learn when to shut up and when you have permission to speak. I'm not going to let it slide next time," Hakyeon let the warning resonate with Sanghyuk as he reached for the chain set aside and linked the cuffs together. He grabbed the younger's chin and jerked his head upwards so their eyes met, "Look at me and let me know that you're listening."

"Yes, sir. " Sanghyuk's heart picked up within his chest and he could feel the beating between his ears. He couldn't tell whether the fear of being punished again overcame him, or if he was feeling that familiar bit of excitement once again.

Hakyeon parted Sanghyuk's hair with his fingers before gripping the strands by the root and tilting his head back though their eyes were still connected. "Are you going to keep being a good boy for me so I can do all the things you wanted?"

"Yes, yes, Mr. Cha, I want to be good," Sanghyuk nearly moaned with his breath hitting Hakyeon's lips.

"That's my baby boy." He licked at the younger's parted mouth then headed down to his unmarked shoulder. He covered that one with the same amount, if not more, red bruises as Sanghyuk squirmed slightly underneath him.

Hakyeon took a step back from the needy boy and slowly began to reveal his skin as he stripped his clothes off. As the pieces came off his body one by one, the intense hunger in Sanghyuk's eyes grew more, resembling the way he once gazed at Hakyeon when they first got together, and the elder noticed. Unlike before, he reveled in how just him being naked impacted the younger so much that he had to ask to see him like this.

"Lay on your back," was all that came from Hakyeon once he was finished undressing.

"I can't do that in this position," Sanghyuk responded, showcasing his restraints in the air that seemed to be... restraining him.

"Yes you can," Hakyeon insisted and stood directly in front of Sanghyuk, his hands firmly behind his back, "Now lay on the bed."

Sanghyuk sighed before trying to shift his weight off his knees and back onto his butt. However, being somebody who never cared too much about physics, he ended up completely falling back onto the bed instead.

"I told you, you can do it," Hakyeon quipped as he made his way to grab the vibrator plug from his open bag.

"I'm sorry, I should have listened to you," Sanghyuk mumbled and shook his bangs out of his eyes before pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes fixated on the ceiling or anywhere except Hakyeon.

"But you did, it's fine," Hakyeon assured him in the middle of gathering his things as he settled on the bed and in between Sanghyuk's legs. With Hakyeon in front of him, he reluctantly rested his gaze on the elder again. His vision, filled with the Hakyeon and his fingers dancing along the curves of his stomach, reminded him to take a deep breath and succumb to the soft feathery touches and his words.

Hakyeon's fingers went lower and lower, grazing across Sanghyuk's thigh until he squeezed the muscle. He could hear Sanghyuk's breathing getting heavier, especially as he took the bottle of lube and coated two of his fingers with the cold liquid. The pad of his fingertips rubbed along the inside of the younger's walls as he pushed them in almost too slow, savoring how Sanghyuk's ass clung to his digit.

Sanghyuk swallowed his whines and focused on all the things he was taught. Breathe, relax, and keep still. Even after all this time, he still had to repeat the mantra in his head. The plugs Hakyeon had him wear all day helped him adjust to the initial stretch, but the somewhat foreign feeling wouldn't subside. Just when he was starting to enjoy it as Hakyeon scissored his fingers, he quickly pulled them back out, leaving him empty.

"Let me know when you're close to your orgasm," Hakyeon instructed and heard a "yes sir" in response. "Wait, you _can_ come without being touched right?"

"I don't know," Sanghyuk informed, struggling a bit to speak more than before, though it didn't give Hakyeon much work with.

"Well, I guess we'll find out today."

The plug Hakyeon brought over earlier was covered in a thin layer of the lube before it was pushed passed Sanghyuk's loosened hole while his hands curled into fists. Sanghyuk didn't know it could be possible, but the toy was entered slower than the man's fingers. His knuckles turned white just because of the teasing itself. He did ask for it, though.

When Hakyeon clicked the plug on, the vibrations instantaneously shot throughout Sanghyuk's legs, his back, and he swore he could feel it in his head. He didn't know how long he could handle that type of stimulation.

Lust consumed Sanghyuk's pupils and blew them up, telling Hakyeon how he felt without him even needing to open his mouth. Hakyeon rose his hand up to Sanghyuk's cheek, caressing the flushed skin with the back of his knuckles. Even though he admires the younger at nearly every waking moment when they're together, he had to take in another sight: the toy filling him, the mess from spit, pre-cum, and lubricant. He wished Sanghyuk did ask him to fuck him because he would have done it then and there.

Hakyeon kept a firm hold on Sanghyuk's hip as he thrust the vibrator in him. Gradually, he increased the pace, making the young man grit his teeth together as he pulled his wrists close to the crown of his head. Sanghyuk wanted to roll into the rhythm of the vibration, especially when Hakyeon suddenly pushed it against his prostate and pulled a guttural sound out of him that he couldn't control.

All the stimulation was already bringing Sanghyuk close to his edge. Hakyeon's fingernails dug into the younger's skin just to keep his hips still. But Hakyeon was nowhere near done. Hakyeon whispered praises to Sanghyuk, for not coming yet, for being able to handle it.

However, the button on the vibrator popped out of its on position and Hakyeon looked at it questioningly. Nothing was said as he ignored what just happened and turned the toy back on. The vibrations continued for a few more seconds until the button gave up and fell out completely.

"What the hell..." Hakyeon murmured to himself as he picked the bit of plastic up off the comforter.

Sanghyuk was getting so close and when everything abruptly stopped, he was left dazed. He didn't even warn Hakyeon yet. "Wh-What happened?" Sanghyuk stammered out, not sure if he made a complete sentence or not.

"The vibrator broke," Hakyeon answered with slight laughter and pulled the toy out, leaving Sanghyuk completely empty, and tossed it beside him, "Shit, I just bought it too."

"So...what does that mean?" Sanghyuk asked as he started to catch his breath again.

"It means I'll have to resort to something else. Stay like this for me, baby boy."

The plug breaking only gave Hakyeon another idea to test out. He lowered himself on his stomach and nibbled at the curve of Sanghyuk's ass before biting into it. He soothed the bite marks with kisses that were probably too chaste for the situation and he folded Sanghyuk's legs towards his torso.

Hakyeon slicked up his fingers again with more lube and pushed two fingers in at the same time. Just watching the way Sanghyuk's hole quivered and clenched around his fingers, trying to suck them in, had Hakyeon more aroused than he already was. He spread his fingers wide apart as he leaned closer and traced the tip of his tongue along the edge of the tight pink rim.

Sanghyuk’s hips jerked forward at the different and wet feeling and he immediately raised his head to see what was going on. “Was that your tongue?”

Hakyeon chuckled against Sanghyuk's cheek and sent his own wave of vibrations. “Yes, it was. Did it feel good, baby boy?” Before Sanghyuk answered, he dipped his head to flick his tongue against the puckered hole.

Hakyeon could perfectly imagine how Sanghyuk was probably complaining in his head, calling it nasty and dirty, and he could picture his cute scrunched up nose. The whole picture made Hakyeon laugh again.

“Can you just do it again, please?” Sanghyuk shamefully asked with a voice loud enough so he wouldn't be asked to repeat himself.

“If that’s what you want.” Hakyeon removed his fingers then pressed the tip of his tongue up to Sanghyuk's entrance, wet from the lube, and slowly pushed past the ring of muscles.

Strained moans came from Sanghyuk as his back arched from the foreign touch. Hakyeon had his ass spread so far apart it nearly hurt but he didn’t mind as he focused on the pleasure.

 As Hakyeon's tongue curled and dragged along Sanghyuk's inner walls, Sanghyuk became a mess underneath him, thrashing his head from side to side as his restrained whines became small grunts. Soon, Sanghyuk was in the same condition he was in before.

Hakyeon sucked on Sanghyuk's rim, giving it a wet sloppy kiss when Sanghyuk gave out his first warning with a shaky voice. That was all it took for Hakyeon to fully pull his mouth away from his ass as he lowered his feet back on the bed. He kneeled on the bed, watching the other squirm as the rush of a nearing orgasm left him until he calmed down again.

Hakyeon wrapped his arms around the younger's thighs, dragging him across the bed to bring him closer. He asked if Sanghyuk was able to see him and he answered yes. From there, just like the man wanted, Hakyeon began touching himself with slow strokes. Sanghyuk almost wanted to tell the elder that he changed his mind about everything. Just the sight alone was too much for him.

"How sexy, do you think I am now?" Hakyeon asked with a quiet yet stern voice that prickled Sanghyuk's ears.

It took the remaining strength Sanghyuk had in his body to not break the eye contact he had with him. "Very," he barely uttered and made Hakyeon laugh.

With his free hand, Hakyeon reached down between Sanghyuk and slipped two fingers in easily again. The hand on his shaft stuttered as he focused on thrusting his fingers in Sanghyuk at the same slow pace he always starts with.

Sanghyuk's breath hitched in his throat as he watched the way Hakyeon circled his thumb around his tip. The muscles that lined his stomach constricted as he controlled himself as much as possible.

As Hakyeon kept the pace of his fingers the same, he gazed down at Sanghyuk's face and how his chest rose and fall, how his throat tensed up from holding back whatever noises were threatening to escape. Sanghyuk was definitely noisier in bed before they started everything all over again and though Hakyeon never asked him to, he always forced himself to stay quiet as his sub. Hakyeon would tell him it's okay, he can whine as much as he wants to, that it's all music to his ears anyways, but something about how the younger tried so hard on his own to please him and to be good satisfied Hakyeon in itself.

Not long after, he finally pushed a third finger in and told Sanghyuk that he's taking it well. For being so good, Hakyeon sped up his thrusts until Sanghyuk's hips pushed down on his hand. "Do you want a spanking instead?" Hakyeon threatened and slapped Sanghyuk's thigh again in the same spot, harder than before. Quickly, the younger shook his head before apologizing and managed to say that he won't do it again.

Hakyeon took his hand away from himself to lift Sanghyuk's leg, hooking his calf over his shoulder (he was still slightly amazed at how big Sanghyuk and every single part of his body is). He held onto his thigh as he fucked Sanghyuk with his fingers with the same speed.

Sanghyuk's stomach glistened with the precum leaking from his cock as it twitched. Hakyeon saw the signs growing and watched to see if Sanghyuk will be honest with him. When Sanghyuk warned him once again, he immediately pulled his fingers out and stroked his own shaft instead.

The knot in Sanghyuk's throat loosened up, allowing him to release deep heavy breaths from the sudden loss as he balled his hands into tight fists and accidentally pulled on the chain.

After his breathing has calmed down, Hakyeon resumed his play with the younger. "You look so pretty like this," Hakyeon mumbled to himself as he aimed his fingers for Sanghyuk's prostate. The sweat on the younger's forehead continued building up as his face twisted up like he was going to start tearing up soon.

For a brief moment, Hakyeon checked up on Sanghyuk, asking if he's still doing okay. With a nod, he answers him and urges the elder to go faster. Hakyeon couldn't tell if the words came out as a moan or not.

Once more, Sanghyuk was wriggling around underneath him with his toes digging into the sheets. "I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come!" he nearly shouted, his voice sounding strained and tired.

Hakyeon left Sanghyuk to bring himself down from his unreachable high. Meanwhile, Hakyeon worked himself with a goal to make himself come soon as his grip around Sanghyuk tightened, knowing their skin was sticking together, and he moved his hand faster. He watched Sanghyuk's clench around nothing as his hips rutted the air for any sort of friction before giving up. When his breathing was steady, for the most part, he continued his motions all over again.

His fingers curled in Sanghyuk every time he pulled them out and brushed them against that certain spot a few times. He circled his thumb around the younger's perineum and saw his body flinch from the sensitive touch. His thumb pressed deeper into the nerves and finally, he heard a moan come out of Sanghyuk, a moan that sounded like it was buried deep within his chest. Hakyeon closed his eyes as the sound resonated in his ears and he had to hold himself back from completely taking Sanghyuk then and there.

The next time Sanghyuk warned him was after less time than before and Hakyeon set his leg back on the bed so he can sit up higher on his knees. He stroked himself with a twist in his wrist until he coated Sanghyuk's stomach and chest in a sticky white mess.

"Oh gosh, fuck," Sanghyuk groaned immediately at the sight as he drew his knees in closer to his body.

Right after he rides his orgasm out on his hand, Hakyeon goes back to the needy younger who just stopped shaking. He was becoming so sensitive that his thighs and knees shook from the feeling of Hakyeon's fingers against his rim. He didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to last like this. Sanghyuk pulled on his cuffs so hard he worried for a second if he would break them. He cried out that he was close again and he lost track of how many times he's said it by now. Except for this time, Hakyeon didn't stop.

He picked up his speed and eventually lost his rhythm as he buried his fingers up to the last knuckle. His thumb stayed against Sanghyuk's perineum, trying to pull the orgasm out of him.

"Tell me how good I'm making you feel, baby boy," Hakyeon requested as he looked at the other from under his eyelids.

Instead of coherent words, all Hakyeon got was more swears as Sanghyuk pressed his head back into the mattress. But it worked for Hakyeon. His body seemed to twist on its own and he didn't know whether he wanted to pull away from the older man's touch or lean into it.

"Look at me, come for me." The moment Sanghyuk focused his eyes on the elder again, all he could see was white as he finally went over the edge. His body shook as his orgasm rippled through him and Hakyeon still kept moving his fingers, smirking at how Sanghyuk's come mixed with his own.

When he did pull his fingers out, he slowly stroked the younger's over sensitive shaft. Sanghyuk somehow, he didn't know how, kept himself from screaming at the touch. He pleaded for Hakyeon to stop as a couple of tears pushed their way past his eyelashes. As he tried to move his legs away to do something, anything, Hakyeon quickly grabbed his calf to keep them open.

"You still have your safe words," Hakyeon reminded him as he began mumbling that it hurt. However, he overlooked them and continued pleading for the other to stop instead.

Sanghyuk looked so pretty to him, with tears streaming across his face and all his muscles tensed up. He was willing to let Hakyeon go this far with him, and that alone squeezed his heart. "Come on, you can beg better than that."

"Please, please, please, it's too much. Please, stop, it hurts, please," Sanghyuk rambled on and with a final squeeze to the base of his member, Hakyeon let go. He lifted the younger's leg again to place a soft kiss the inside of his knee as Sanghyuk continued whimpering.

"God, you're so beautiful…" Hakyeon whispered to himself in awe. "You're such a good boy," he pressed his lips against Sanghyuk's thigh before letting him relax his leg, "You did very well." As he leaned over Sanghyuk to unhook the chain from his cuffs he pressed a kiss to his lips too and even with his lack of comprehension, Sanghyuk was able to return the kiss.

"I mean it. You know I'm not only proud of you because of the internship, but also because of the sub you are for m.," Hakyeon lowered the younger's arms down to his side for him. "I'm glad you wanted to do this with me."

"I'm glad too," Sanghyuk muttered when he was finally able to understand words again, somewhat.

"Do you still want the cake?"

"Gosh yes, please," Sanghyuk replied a beat later and Hakyeon could only laugh shortly.

"Okay, we have to clean up first then."

After they showered and were smelling like Hakyeon's citrus soap, Sanghyuk was leaning against Hakyeon's shoulder as he finished his second slice of cake. Hakyeon kept him close, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and the other hand resting on his hip.

"This is probably the best chocolate cake I've ever had," Sanghyuk commented, his words slurring together, before licking the icing off his fork like a child.

"Thank you. And you know what?" Hakyeon replied, threading his fingers through Sanghyuk's brown strands of hair.

"What?"

"The cake will still be here even when you're asleep," Hakyeon quickly snatched the plate out of Sanghyuk's hands as it threatened to fall on his nice clean carpet. He dropped the plate on the end table in front of them before completely facing the younger who resembled a baby fighting off sleep. "Just take a nap, Hyuk."

Like he was a robot waiting for the right command, Sanghyuk's eyelids fluttered closed as his empty hand fell into Hakyeon's lap. Hakyeon scooped the new, and heavy, intern in his arms and picked him up to take him to bed so they could cuddle and sleep under the warm covers instead.

"I love you so much, Hyuk," Hakyeon whispered, even though Sanghyuk wouldn't hear it, and dozed off beside him.


	17. Differing Norms

So far, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Hakyeon showed up to Ravi's tattoo parlor with two bags of food and two burgers in each. Except, Hakyeon had to buy himself a chicken sandwich to at least try to seem healthy. He heard a greeting from the front desk and where he expected to see Sanghyuk's smiling face, he instead saw Jaehwan's prominent nose staring back at him.

"Oh gosh, I almost forgot for a second," Hakyeon mumbled to himself, startled by the change.

"Forgot what?" Jaehwan quirked his eyebrow up at the elder as he took a bag from him and pulled his own burger out.

Hakyeon joined Ravi on the couch who looked like he was waiting for lunch for quite a while. Since there was no point in letting food go to waste, Hakyeon handed Ravi his order as well as the extra burger.

"Forgot that Hyuk no longer works here," Hakyeon answered without the usual upbeat tone in his voice.

"Oh right."

The conversation that barely formed ended just like that as they slowly devoured their lunch. The sight was almost reminiscent to how things were over a year ago. However, instead of being like before, things were now different and each one of them could feel it.

There was a giant elephant in the room, weighing down the atmosphere and nobody wanted to be 'that guy' and approach it first. Or maybe, nobody wanted to be that sentimental guy. Either way, Hakyeon was annoyed by the silence and once his finished his sandwich he decided to get it over with.

"It feels a little weird now that Hyuk's not here," Hakyeon spoke up, knowing that's what they were all thinking anyway.

"Yeah, I miss him a lil'," Jaehwan chimed in now that the ice was broken and Hakyeon's eyes lit up at the sweet words. "He has me doing all of his stupid work - you know I'm not good with math!"

Hakyeon chuckled at Jaehwan's finished thought and balled up the paper wrapper in his hands. "Speaking of which, when are you going to hire somebody else?" he asked as he turned to Ravi.

Ravi shrugged his shoulders without even pondering the question and placed his own trash on top of Hakyeon's, not that he would mind.

"Jaehwannie, you know any more teenagers since you're the one who brought in Hyuk?"

Jaehwan just simply shook his head at Ravi's question.

"What about adults?"

"All the adults I know already have jobs that they wouldn't quit to be a part-time bookkeeper," Jaehwan laughed.

Ravi crinkled up his nose at the disappointing answer. He couldn't reply with a sharp comeback or even give a glare, though Sanghyuk said something similar before, cause it was Jaehwan. He turned to look over at Hakyeon and as soon as he opened his mouth to say something to the elder he was quickly cut off.

"I don't know about else either so don't bother asking."

"Huh, well, perhaps, do any of your employees hate their job?"

"Ravi, don't piss me off," Hakyeon warned.

"For fuck's sake - when did you guys start fighting every day?" Jaehwan broke in, slouching over the front desk in annoyance.

"When this one got a mouth on him," Hakyeon replied and jabbed his thumb in Ravi's direction who threatened to bite the finger.

"But...Hyuk has a mouth on him too?"

"Don't make me smack you, Jaehwan."

"What did I do! It's not my fault you always go for the cheeky ones," Jaehwan huffed and returned to his work on the computer just to escape the impending argument.

Hakyeon released a sigh as rolled his eyes without ill intention and brought his attention back to the matter at hand, "Anyways, you'll find somebody to hire. But it better be soon if Jaehwan's your backup."

"You're not gonna hit on the next one are you?" Ravi asked with the words just spilling out of his mouth.

As automatic as Ravi's question was, so was Hakyeon's hand that almost landed on him, but the elder was able to control himself. "What exactly do you take me for? Remember, I have a boyfriend - used to work here, we just talked about him."

Ravi lifted his hands in defense against his statement and against Hakyeon in case he tried to hit him again, "Well, I'm just saying. First me, then him, for all I know you can be with Jaehwannie too."

The comment was made to sound ridiculous, something that probably wouldn't actually happen. Jaehwan held his breath as it took every fiber in his being to not look up and not act suspiciously. He just had to keep working normally until the conversation passed over. Even then, his shoulders were tight and stressed and he hoped Ravi didn't notice.

"Wow. You actually have a death wish don't you?" Hakyeon mumbled though the words sounded clear to Ravi, "If you don't mind, I'm going to text my boyfriend, Han Sanghyuk."

The subject was dropped just like that. As Ravi stood up from the couch, Hakyeon innocently gave him a kick in his tush then acted like he did nothing wrong when Ravi turned around to give a glare in return.

Hakyeon heard Ravi tell Jaehwan something about washing his hands and getting back to practice and effectively tuned out the rest as he pulled his phone out. He sent two quick texts to Sanghyuk: first warning how he's close to killing Ravi then secondly he joked about how weird the shop seems without him. There was no point in waiting for a reply after sending the texts. He knew Hyuk was at his internship, the very reason why the place felt empty.

Now that everybody's lunch break seemed like it was over, Hakyeon got up from the couch as well. He took Jaehwan's trash that he left on the front desk and threw away all the scraps of paper in the bin near the front entrance.

Right when Hakyeon pushed the door open to step out, the bell already ringing throughout the small place, he heard Ravi call after him. "What?" Hakyeon sputtered out, turning around to face the artist who was sitting behind the half-wall divider with Jaehwan.

"See you tomorrow."

A corner of Hakyeon's lips lifted slightly as he waved back at Ravi and Jaehwan before finally stepping through the parlor doors.

The bakery door swung open and a greeting went to the employee manning the cash register as Hakyeon entered the building. He kept a one track mind as he went straight to the kitchen in the back and snatched his apron off the wall. The apron was tied securely to his waist as he took a quick glance around his kitchen.

Some of the staff must still be on their lunch break, Hakyeon thought to himself. However, Mimi was still present, topping off some cupcake with buttercream icing in the decorating station.

"Mimi," Hakyeon called, catching her attention, "Did we get any new orders?"

"Just one," Mimi informed and a nod came from him in response.

Hakyeon fell into his routine: picking up any new orders that Mimi usually laid them out for him on the prep table. He would then begin working on the orders or finish off ones that are nearing their due date. That was until Mimi's huge eyes staring at him spooked him out of his norm.

"What do you want?" he croaked, trying to keep his voice sturdy under Mimi's analyzing gaze. He pressed the heels of his palms into the metal table, leaning against it.

"Well..." Mimi started, unnecessarily wringing the end of her piping bag. Hakyeon lifted his eyebrow, urging her to continue her sentence, "When am I suppose to meet your boyfriend?" The shy facade faded in less than a second, her words being more demanding than inquisitive.

"This again," Hakyeon sighed and turned the other way, obviously ignoring her question, to gather his ingredients and supplies.

"All you're gonna do is sigh?" Mimi pouted, her eyes as wide as she could possibly make them for the sole purpose of guilt tripping Hakyeon when he would eventually turn to face her again.

Despite her efforts, Hakyeon didn't even look up as he set his mixing bowls and utensils on the prep table. After working with Mimi for three years, he knew better than to fall into her traps.

"You'll meet him when you meet him," was all Hakyeon said.

Various huffs and puffs left Mimi since that was the last thing she wanted to hear. "Don't you remember? You promised that I'll meet him," Mimi reminded him.

"I did no such thing," Hakyeon quickly retorted, still not looking up at the younger because of the pout she's more than likely sporting and the sly grin he was trying to hide.

"I can recite exactly what you said word by word. You clearly said if I'll go back to work then yes I'll meet him someday," Mimi repeated without missing a beat. If Hakyeon didn't want to correct her, he would have asked how her memory was working so well.

"Aha," Hakyeon exclaimed, "I said ' _someday_ '. You can't miss the keywords. I didn't promise anything besides someday."

Hakyeon turned a deaf ear to the rest of Mimi's grumbling to focus on his work but he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling his attention away once more. He tried to suppress the glimmer of hope in his chest as he unlocked his phone. Any sign of hope that managed to form was quickly let down as the only notification that popped up was a reminder he set for himself that he needed to pay his bills soon.

A disappointed groan escaped past Hakyeon's lips and didn't miss Mimi. "You okay?" she questioned, finishing the last cupcake.

"It's nothing," now it was Hakyeon's turn to grumble.

"Was that him?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Oh..." Mimi sang. A smirk slowly crept up on her face as she stepped closer to her boss, "Is that why you look so down all of a sudden? Waiting for a text?"

Hakyeon couldn't even bring himself to give her answer or quarrel with her. Nevertheless, him staying silent was the only answer Mimi needed anyway as she chuckled to herself, despite the glare coming from Hakyeon.

"Don't worry, he'll text soon," Mimi assured him. Though Hakyeon knew Mimi meant well, he didn't pay any mind to the empty statement.

"You talk too much."

When his work day finally ended, or more so when he let himself leave work, Hakyeon finally hung his apron back up and pulled his phone out one more time. Maybe the notifications went off and he didn't notice.

The messages between him and Sanghyuk popped up on the screen but the number one was still present as well, showing that his messages were unread. It was easy for him to shrug it off. There was plenty of days between them where they didn't communicate to each other.

However, even with that in mind, Hakyeon couldn't help himself from checking his phone one final time as he laid in bed at night. There was a text from Jaehwan asking if he wanted to get dinner the next day and his message to Sanghyuk was still unread.

He was slightly amazed but also worried at how busy the new job must be keeping him. He hoped they weren't dumping unnecessary work on him because he was an intern but his better judgment knew that's exactly what people in big companies do.

Before resting his head on his pillow, Hakyeon responded to Jaehwan's text and sent one more to Sanghyuk, wishing his day at the new internship went well.


	18. Cover Up

_"Everything's okay. Just stay understanding and calm..."_

*       *       *

As the days passed, sitting in the tattoo parlor just served as a mirror for Hakyeon, reflecting the emptiness he felt inside with Sanghyuk's empty spot behind the front desk. It didn't matter if Jaehwan was physically seated in that particular spot or not.

The leather of the sofa's armrest squeaked underneath Hakyeon as he leaned his weight and elbow against it. It was probably time to head back to the bakery but he needed some time to wallow in his own thoughts for once. Lunch was over anyways so Ravi and Jaehwan would either be busy practicing together or working with clients. There was no need to worry about them bothering him with questions.

Maybe it was too early to be so sentimental, but that didn't stop Hakyeon from recalling the last remnants of Sanghyuk in his mind. He could clearly recall the look of Sanghyuk's face as they sat at the restaurant table, properly celebrating Sanghyuk's internship. Hakyeon treated the younger to dinner the night before he started work and Sanghyuk continuously claimed how excited he was. However, the small vibrations coming from the tapping of Sanghyuk's feet under the table didn't surpass Hakyeon. Even though Hakyeon could feel how nervous he was, there was still that small twinkle in Sanghyuk's eye. The same twinkle that appeared when he was proud of something he's accomplished and of course when Hakyeon surprised him with his favorite cupcake. Now, that twinkle was just a memory.

It wasn't a hard concept to understand. The poor boy was busy working and Hakyeon knew that. Even after he reminded himself of that fact every day, he couldn't help the itch he felt to touch Sanghyuk, or even see his face. To cast those itches aside, especially when he got like how he was now, Hakyeon logically thought of why everything felt different. Of course, he's not able to barge into Sanghyuk's workspace and banter with him like he's used to doing for the past year.

The ringing of the parlor's door brought Hakyeon back to the outside world. His gaze lifted up from the leather couch to see a man with an unfinished sleeve on his right arm chatting to Jaehwan at the front desk. From Hakyeon's perspective, all he could see was an owl delicately perched right under the man's shoulder. If Ravi would have never shown off the design earlier, Hakyeon wouldn't have been able to tell the tattoo was unfinished.

For a second, Hakyeon was glad the owl was able to distract save him from drowning his own thoughts. Especially since he had to go back to work.

All Hakyeon could do was scoff at himself now that he was in the real world again, feeling like his head was on straight again. Maybe all those jokes Sanghyuk made was right; he really was becoming a clingy bastard. After knowing all of this, all of what he reminded himself every day, the guilt finally started sinking in for feeling even just a bit lonely without Sanghyuk.

Finally, the day Hakyeon had been waiting all week for: Saturday. Hakyeon figured that maybe, possibly, Sanghyuk would have more free time over the weekend and that they could see each other. After closing the bakery early, Hakyeon sent him an inconspicuous text, simply telling the younger that he was in the mood for Chinese.

"Please understand," Hakyeon mumbled to himself as he sat in his car, relying possibly too much on the likelihood of Sanghyuk deciphering the message to come over and eat Chinese food with him. There was even a movie waiting at home that Hakyeon had saved to watch with the younger. Hakyeon's thumb panned down the warm phone screen, reading the previous messages he had sent the day before:

 

_chakchak:_

_Good morning sweetie, hope you slept well_

_chakchak:_

_Is work going ok?_

_chakchak:_

_Don't overwork yourself. Seriously. I mean it. Don't get sick_

_chakchak:_

_Are you eating all your meals?_

_chakchak:_

_I don't care if it's ramen, eattttt_

_chakchak:_

_Night night sweetie, dream of me. Love you_

 

All the one's underneath his texts were now zero's, showcasing that Sanghyuk has read them. Hakyeon clicked his tongue at the realization. He could have at least left a 'k', Hakyeon thought, but he didn't dwell on it. Besides, there could be a chance Sanghyuk would reply this time.

Later that night, Hakyeon stirred awake on the couch he accidentally fell asleep on. For a moment, he thought he heard something that was probably in his dream until he heard it again - a sudden knock at his front door.

He grumbled 'I'm coming' a few times as he sat up on his sofa, repeatedly blinking his eyes to make himself wake up faster, before picking up his phone that somehow sneaked between the cushions. The bright screen which burned Hakyeon's eyes read 1:24 A.M.

"What in the hell... Who is it!" Hakyeon shouted then instantly regretted it because of the chance that he may have woken up his neighbors.

"It's Hyuk!" the voice, muffled by the door, shouted back.

Nothing else could make Hakyeon scramble faster onto his feet as he rushed to answer the door, swinging it wide open as soon as he got his hands on it.

Hakyeon's arms immediately found their way around Sanghyuk's neck, standing on his tippy toes to reach the taller man. Sanghyuk's large hands rested on Hakyeon's waist, fitting into the curve of his body. If Hakyeon wasn't so ridden with sleep he might have completely clung onto Sanghyuk, legs and all. Instead, his body weight slumped into younger as he drowsily pressed his nose in the crook between Sanghyuk's neck and shoulder.

After a while, Hakyeon didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon, Sanghyuk kept a firm hold on him as he walked him back into the apartment and closed the door behind them. The newly ensured privacy led Sanghyuk to squeeze Hakyeon against himself since it was just the two of them.

"I missed you too," Sanghyuk barely whispered in Hakyeon's ear, knowing just how the elder must've felt. Hakyeon lowered himself onto his heels again and took a step back to get a better look at his lover.

"I saw your text, but I was in the middle of working on this project and I really couldn't risk taking a break but as soon as I finished I texted you that I was coming over," Sanghyuk rambled, trying to get everything he wanted to say out. "I hope it's not too late for..." he drifted off mid-sentence as the aroma of grease and soy sauce finally made it to his senses, "You already ate didn't you?"

Hakyeon regretfully nodded his head as he ran his fingers through his hair to make his bedhead look presentable. The sigh that left Sanghyuk's lips let Hakyeon know that he probably regretting coming over too late as well.

Sanghyuk's plump and pink bottom lip jutted out slightly into a pout, reminding Hakyeon how young he really was. If Sanghyuk didn't look like he was in the middle of forming a thought, Hakyeon wouldn't have hesitated to kiss him. "Is it okay if I stay the night then? To make it up to you?" Sanghyuk's eyes shined with his naive nature as he gazed down at Hakyeon expectedly.

Gentle yet bubbly laughter filled Sanghyuk's ears. "How could I ever say no to this face?" Hakyeon responded as he looked adoringly at Sanghyuk.

The whole moment made Hakyeon lightheaded with bliss and he couldn't let another second go by without kissing the younger. Hakyeon's lips delicately brushed over Sanghyuk's, afraid that if he pressed too hard the dream-like frame would slip from his fingers. So Hakyeon reached down and laced his hand with Sanghyuk's to make sure that wouldn't happen.

When their lips parted, Hakyeon squeezed Sanghyuk's hand before leading him back to the bedroom. The sight of his own bed brought the drowsiness back and Hakyeon didn't waste any time crawling under the covers. Sanghyuk busied himself with stripping out of his clothes, not even bothering to put them in a neat pile. Once everything but his boxers were discarded, Sanghyuk joined Hakyeon in the bed that was just as familiar as his own.

Hakyeon held his arms wide open for the younger, welcoming him into a warm embrace. His fingers danced over the back of Sanghyuk's shoulder blades once he settled himself under the comforter. Their gazes met and Hakyeon searched Sanghyuk's eyes, trying to see if he could figure out how the student may be feeling. He looked unsure of something, or maybe he was doing the exact same thing as Hakyeon. Whichever one it was, Hakyeon raised his thumb to rub the space between Sanghyuk's eyebrows and help him relax the tense muscles.

"I'm sorry, Hyung," was the first thing to leave Sanghyuk's mouth after a while of laying in bed. Hakyeon shushed him and pulled him closer to pepper soft loving kisses against his cheek and along his jaw.

"It's alright, sweetie, I understand," Hakyeon assured him even though he was in the middle of still trying to reassure himself.

"It's just..." Sanghyuk sighed exasperatedly and propped his head up on his hand. "The semester was already stressful and now with this job. I can do it, it's just so much now," he vented, letting out only some of the frustrations that have been bubbling up inside him. His thumb idly rubbed against the soft waistband of Hakyeon's lounge pants as his eyes lowered to the wrinkles on Hakyeon's shirt, "I didn't mean to push you back. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, really, Sanghyuk. Don't worry about me; just focus on what you need to do, okay?" Hakyeon carded his fingers through the younger's hair as they made eye contact again.

"Thanks..." Sanghyuk mumbled like he still wasn't sure that it was okay.

Hakyeon forced a smile onto his face while pushing everything back in his head. He felt horrible for the things he thought of earlier in the week, for daring to feel an ounce of loneliness. The most important thing to Hakyeon was Sanghyuk and his wellbeing, and if he added more strain to Sanghyuk's life, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

In the darkness, Hakyeon's smile was passable enough for Sanghyuk to overlook it and capture his lips in a kiss. He could feel the younger trying to put his all into the kiss like he was trying to make up everything that he apologized for. However, Hakyeon didn't trust himself to be face to face with Sanghyuk and instead pulled the younger into his chest. Luckily Sanghyuk didn't mind.

"I love you so much," Hakyeon whispered with a steady voice as a lone tear fell across the bridge of his nose, dropping somewhere onto the pillow under him.

"I love you too."

While Sanghyuk's arm eventually grew heavier on Hakyeon's hip, Hakyeon was left with a dull throbbing headache with tears caught on his eyelashes. Any wet streaks that were left on Hakyeon's face were quickly wiped away before he dozed off and surprised Sanghyuk with them in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this is the second to last chapter which will be posted tomorrow  
> Thank you guys for reading. Comments, kudos, all that jazz is greatly appreciated .-.
> 
> Catch me on twitter @taekwoncheeks


	19. Some Things are Meant to End.

"Oppa wait!"

The scalding hot pan clattered against the open oven door as a few cupcakes popped out of their individual sections. Hakyeon looked down at his fingertips that were burning red, pulsing and blistering. In a fuzzy flash, his hand was jerked from in front of him and covered by a cold and wet towel as Mimi suddenly stood by his side.

"What has gotten into you? You've been spaced out all day, didn't you hear me? How did you even hold it that long?" Mimi continued nagging and led him over to the sink to cool his hand off under the cold running water.

"Bora, Unnie, would you mind getting the first aid kit?" she requested across the kitchen, and Bora effectively rushed to where the first aid equipment was kept.

For some time now, Hakyeon was getting by just from muscle memory as he continuously lost himself in his head, disconnected from reality. Of course, muscle memory alone was bound to fail him at some point.

Even with the water, the heat was still radiating throughout Hakyeon's skin. The drum of the stream falling onto his hand echoed in his ears. Through it, he could hear the water from the kitchen sink bouncing off Sanghyuk's hand.

"Have you never ironed before?" Hakyeon laughed as he held the younger's hand still.

"I have! I was just trying to check if it was hot yet," Sanghyuk claimed, leaning against the laminate countertop with his free arm.

"Silly, when the light turns on all you have to do is wait a minute. You don't have to actually touch it."

"Oh, I thought the light just meant it was plugged in..."

Hakyeon reached out to flick Sanghyuk across his forehead and chuckled when the younger wailed an 'ow'.

"How can you hurt somebody who's already injured?" Sanghyuk whined, rubbing the spot where he was attacked.

"Just hold still, I'm almost done." Hakyeon's voice stirred with Mimi's as she tugged his hand closer to her, frustrated that he kept letting it drift away from her.

The sudden pull of reality was harsh to Hakyeon's mind as he realized he was no longer in his apartment's kitchen. In front of him instead, Mimi was almost finished bandaging all the blisters and burns on his fingers. He figured she probably already applied ointment.

They were seated in his office, he didn't even remember walking there, and Mimi had worry written all over his face. He took a deep breath, anticipating whatever she was about to say.

"So..." Mimi started and Hakyeon already wanted the conversation to be over, "Not only do you look horrible, but you're losing your head too. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

If Hakyeon had the energy to care, he would have felt thoroughly offended. "It's really none of your business, but everything's fine," he only answered because he knew Mimi wouldn't stop asking until she got an answer. The girl really talked too much.

"If you don't mind, I'm going back to work now," Hakyeon announced without giving Mimi a chance to reply. Barely a second later, he flinched from the pain that rang throughout his hand again as he tried to push himself off the chair.

"I think it would be best if you went home early. You don't seem fit to keep working with your hand and all," she suggested, gesturing to his wounds.

Hakyeon opened his mouth to retort but quietly decided Mimi was right. If he continued working, he might ruin more orders or more fingers.

* * *

 

Somehow, Hakyeon's hand found itself clenched around the neck of a wine bottle. There were other things he was supposed to have bought at the market, but wine seemed to be the only thing he needed at the moment. At least it was safer than his last resort that disappeared what seemed like months ago. Everything seemed to have taken place months ago when all he had to live off of were memories.

All the days blurred together in his mind. There were times where he didn't even know what day of the week it was. However, pieces here and there from when he was conscious told him that it's been over a week since he last saw Sanghyuk in his house.

The dark red alcohol swirled along the inside of the glass as he sat at the dining table. The glass was probably filled too much but he couldn't care less. He stared at the liquid, watching it come to a still before indulging himself. It was a taste he had yet to acquire but it was doing the trick anyways.

As the wine filled Hakyeon's stomach, it pushed the feelings up that he tried to bury. Pain rose in his chest, finally exposing how much it hurt, how bad he missed Sanghyuk. He had to quickly find some way to calm himself down again. He didn't keep himself contained this long to explode over one glass of alcohol.

Actually, there were times when he and Jaehwan barely spoke to each other. That was when he was in art school and he met Taekwoon. Though falling in love and attending classes took up most of his time, he could remember Jaehwan spending everyday trying to get his freelance career off the ground. Luckily, Ravi came around to help him do something with his art.

A heavy relaxed sigh left Hakyeon as he reminisced to himself. It wasn't often that he thought back to his youthful days.

Youthful.

Those days Hakyeon thought about were when he was young. Around Sanghyuk's age in fact. He wondered how he could be so stupid. A person is supposed to grow and explore in their youth.

Now, Hakyeon's older, more stable and content with his status in life. As content as he could be with all things considered. Sanghyuk, on the other hand, was ripe for branching out in his life and diving into all his opportunities. The last thing Sanghyuk needed was a restraint keeping him in place.

"I can't believe this," Hakyeon scoffed at himself and threw the rest of his drink back.

Hakyeon realized why his parents momentarily judged him for dating somebody Sanghyuk's age. He had no business going after somebody that much younger than him, no matter how cute he was.

It was only Hakyeon's fault that he was going to be left behind while the younger was just trying to achieve the goals he set out for himself. Besides, he already dragged the younger through enough, there was no need to cling on any longer. It was time to let Sanghyuk live his life without the weight of Hakyeon.

Hakyeon's hit the back of the chair as he gradually slumped down. How long did he think it would take to get to this point? At least six months...maybe a year...or more? How could it all end so soon?

The pain he subsided temporarily came back stronger and spread further than before, nearly consuming him. Hakyeon knew better than anyone that it was better for things to end sooner than later. He couldn't even remember why he thought any of that would change. What made him think any of the pain and longings would be different? _It all ends the same, no matter what happens_. Hakyeon promised him to never forget that again.

Now, a piece of him is gone that he would never get back.

Hakyeon left the table, ignoring the dirty glass and opened wine bottle, and grabbed his coat off the sofa's armrest. Though spring was fast approaching, there was still a chill in the air at night. He rushed to slip his arms through the coat, wanting to carry on with his impromptu plan as soon as possible. A plan that would make sure that he would never go through this again.

 _Inked Roses_. The familiar dimly lit signed clearly came into view as Hakyeon walked down the path he knew by heart. Did he dare think of the place as his second home? He never pictured himself running there in a time of vulnerability yet there he was, tugging the door open to the parlor.

"Are you guys still open?" Hakyeon asked, prying his eyes away from the strange kid behind the counter that he's never seen before over to Ravi. It was a stupid question, especially with the glowing neon 'open' sign out front. Anxiety was finally collecting at the bottom of Hakyeon's stomach now that he stopped moving and it was making him spill nonsense.

"What do you want? And make it quick cuz I was just about to close the place," Ravi warned, completely skipping over Hakyeon's question. It spared Hakyeon from further embarrassment anyways.

"Well," Hakyeon hesitated as he trudged his way over to Ravi, "You know how you used to badger me about getting a tattoo?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"I think I'm finally ready for it."

Hakyeon expected Ravi to rejoice at the moment he was finally going to give him business. Instead, the young boss shook his head and gestured to Hakyeon's mouth.

"I can smell the alcohol coming off of you. Look at the sign," Ravi's finger panned across the space in front of them to point at the sign with a printed list of rules hanging up above the waiting area's sofa, "No drunk people. You know this."

"It was just one glass, I'm still sober," Hakyeon sighed.

"Yeah, and one glass of wine can still mess people up, especially people who don't drink. Like yourself."

So far everything may have been a spur of the moment, but Hakyeon still had his ideas mapped out. This was one obstacle he wasn't expecting to come across and it was only adding to frustrations that were already weighing down his shoulders.

"What do you want me to do, say the alphabet, walk in a straight line? Fine." Without waiting for Ravi to answer he quickly got into position and placed one foot in front of the other, following the straight groove in between the laminate wood flooring.

"Okay, okay, stop it. I get it, you're sober," Ravi gave in and grabbed Hakyeon's wrist, pulling him off of his imaginary tightrope.

Ravi turned around to face the new worker, giving him permission to leave the parlor without him. It was as if the kid was waiting for Ravi to give the say-so and quickly grabbed his belonging before heading out the front door with a simple cordial 'see ya later'.

"No offense to that guy, but he really makes me miss Hyuk sometimes. He's almost bland compared to him, you know?" Ravi commented, completely ignorant to Hakyeon's feelings.

"Uh huh..." Hakyeon mustered.

Only because it was Hakyeon, Ravi stayed way later at the parlor than he ever would. Despite his reaction to Hakyeon's drinking earlier, he was ecstatic. Hakyeon was actually ready to ink his precious skin. It was most definitely a special occasion. When Hakyeon wasn't looking, too engulfed with writing down sentences for the design, Ravi saved the date as an anniversary in his phone.

The concept Hakyeon had in his head was fairly simple, possibly too easy for Ravi. It was just a matter of Hakyeon finding the right words to string together. Ravi let him take as much time as he needed to sit in silence, carefully figuring out which puzzle piece goes where.

_No matter what happens,_

_Never lose yourself_

Delicate words tied together in cursive calligraphy painted the paper as Ravi placed his pen flat against the table. They were set to gently lay along Hakyeon's forearm, down the side of his pinky finger.

"Do you wanna talk about it, whatever it is?" Ravi broke the quiet atmosphere as Hakyeon stared blankly at the page. No emotion graced his face and Ravi wondered for a second if he was indeed happy with the final design.

Hakyeon shook his head without any strength, without speaking. Ravi didn't interfere any further. That was the most he was going to get on the matter in any case.

"So, you sure about this? All of this?"

"I haven't been so sure of anything else recently."

* * *

 

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Jaehwan nearly choked out. Ravi's own mouth fell agape at the sight in front of him as his hand mindlessly patted Jaehwan on the back.

"Yeah, what he said," Ravi unnecessarily reiterated.

"Hello to you guys too. Glad to see you all missed me so much, no seriously, it means so much to me," Sanghyuk quipped, pushing his phone in his front pocket as he traipsed further into the parlor.

Nothing about the place changed, except for one employee in his old spot, but Sanghyuk still took it upon him to observe the wall decorations and the same ol' furniture. Nostalgia rushed over as he took everything in. It was only a month since he last saw the parlor and at the same time if felt like forever.

"Our semester break finally started, that's why I'm here. Just when I was about to die of exhaustion too... Have you guys seen Hakyeon Hyung around?"

"Uh, the last time I saw Hakyeon was earlier this week," Ravi informed him.

"I talked to him like last night, but I haven't seen him today, yet," Jaehwan added. His eyebrows knitted together as he gazed at the youngest amongst them, "Why, what's up?"

Sanghyuk shrugged, making light of the question, "He just hasn't answered my text is all."

Sanghyuk could physically feel the scrutinizing and suspicious stares coming from his hyungs. He knew if he didn't get out of the building that second questions would go flying. Questions he didn't want to face and answer. So he left as quickly as he entered the parlor with the front door slowly closing as he briskly made his way down the sidewalk. He would just have to meet up with them later.

However, he wished that was all there was. Hakyeon didn't answer his countless amount of texts, all spread throughout the day, and Sanghyuk's calls went unanswered.

Ever since Sanghyuk started his job with his internship, Hakyeon would be the one to leave a text here and there, no matter how small the message was. At first, they got Sanghyuk in trouble with his manager a couple of times when he failed at stealthily unlocking his phone. Then, they became his little treasures to savor when he was buried under papers and assignments from both school and work.

Each text was so Hakyeon and so special. They expressed that Sanghyuk wasn't forgotten, and Hakyeon still thought about him every day. It was just one of those things he secretly loved about Hakyeon yet struggled to do himself.

Sanghyuk struggled with expressing his affections and returning small pieces of sentiment on his own flustered him. And to add even more stress, it was challenging to dedicate time to Hakyeon. If he was to be honest with himself, he had become too busy to maintain a serious relationship.

Still, Sanghyuk felt he couldn’t tell Hakyeon that he no longer had any time out of the fear of losing him. He knew it was selfish, but it didn’t matter.  He never felt so strongly about anyone else, and he couldn’t see himself ever letting the man go. Or at least, that's what Sanghyuk thought until recently.

The driving force that helped Sanghyuk go throughout his day was gone. He went days, almost over a week, without receiving another text and that alone was more stressful than the rest of his work combined. Also, his messages were still unread. Even the ones from a couple of days ago.

Knowing Hakyeon, it all had to mean something. Sanghyuk just didn't know what exactly, but it still scared him. He was completely focused on seeing his partner again before it was too late.

However, Sanghyuk's grumbling stomach had other plans at the minute. Missing breakfast earlier that morning finally caught up with him. Luckily, the convenience store that he used to buy Jaehwan's snacks from was just around the corner.

His feet padded into the store as his eyes scanned over the aisles with his privileged height. It was a tough decision for Sanghyuk as he tried to decide what lame snack he should replace brunch with. He ran out of options in the aisle he strolled down and finally came to the end. As he turned the corner to enter the neighboring aisle, a slender tan neck caught his attention.

Sanghyuk's eyes refused to leave the man without any concrete reason. Though he was no sort of expert on the matter, he could swear the man's aura was similar to... Before Sanghyuk's thought finished, the man reached up for the soda bottles and there was a flash of black underneath his arm. The man Sanghyuk was comparing him too had no sort of ink on his body. But there was still something about him, even with the tattoo.

As soon as the man chose his drink, he turned in Sanghyuk's direction. For some reason, Sanghyuk felt the urge to run and hide behind the shelves, but his feet weren't fast enough. Their eyes already caught a hold of each other.

A barely audible gasp past through Sanghyuk's lips. For a second, he believed his eyes were failing him, there was no way what he saw was real. Hundreds of thoughts raced through his mind, and he was pretty sure it was evident on his face while the man in front of him seemed to be made of stone.

Sanghyuk couldn't count how many seconds or minutes had passed, but it felt forever since their eyes began piercings holes in the air between them. He wanted to say something, had to say something, but the words that bubbled up were stopped by a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow. Every limb was frozen and he couldn't do anything he's been wanting to do for the past weeks.

The man set the soda he held on the closest shelf to him and began walking steadily towards the door. Sanghyuk's feet were still nailed to the floor. His stayed fixed to the man's back and watched him slip through the aisles, through his fingers.

A part of him hoped the man with the new short and choppy haircut and the new tattoo would at least look back one more time before leaving. The ringing of the front door's bell now echoing through his ears told him otherwise.

The fresh tears that brimmed in Sanghyuk's eyes burned but he didn't have any strength to lift his heavy hands and wipe them away. His head, his mind, the rest of his body went completely numb. The last thing he could feel at that moment was somebody squeezing the life out of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Thank you guys so much for those who have made it this far.  
> This is the first story I've ever completed (besides oneshot) and I never expected myself to write this or get this far with it.  
> And seriously, thank you guys for reading through this mess. This was the first story I've not only completed, but it's the first thing I've written in years. I finally decided I wanted to start writing again, not just for fun but hopefully as a career so I used this story that's been in my head for months to get the gears grinding again. And I know that through that, I've been trying to find my style so I'm sorry if this story may have seemed messily written at times.
> 
> I hope you guys don't hate me too much for this ending. There was purpose for it; I did think this ending over countless amount of times as I wrote the story and this is how it is  
> I also hope you guys appreciate my reasoning behind this and can maybe interpret your own reasons? Idk if my writing can trigger thought though heh...
> 
> I do plan on writing more, and posting more to ao3  
> If you guys want to follow me, chat, tweet, spam about VIXX, whatever, you can find me @taekwoncheeks
> 
> Thank you.


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